Don't even bother doing it yourself. You've a surplus of bored readers, things will be taken care of.
Level: 1 (all classes)
Components: S, V, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell takes effect immediately upon play, and remains in effect as long as the character continues to play Dungeons and Dragons.
Material Component: Player's Handbook worth $30.