Here we go.
Her name is Jessica Rose Reuter. She's a Nursing Assistant and a Doula (labor coach).
I met her while I was staying overnight at the hospital while my Grandmother was in. She radiated compassion. And YES, while everyone says that's her job, no. You cant understand it untill you meet her.
Every nurse was concerned about my Grandmother. Jess treated my grandmother as if Agnes was her own. She would call her hun, listen intently when she talked, every time my grandmother groaned, Jess looked like I felt. There was just so much caring with her.
There was chemestry between us from the very start.
My very first night at the hospital I woke up from a short nap at 5 in the morning with a terrible headache. I wound up leaving the hospital to get some asprin. I went to a grocery store, and picked up some advil and some flowers for my Grandmother.
I got off the hospital elevator right as she walked passed. "Awe, did you bring me flowers?" Jess asked. "Er, no, but I'll be back." I said. I put the bouquet into a vase, and put the flowers in my grandmother's room. And then, I proceeded to take one out of the arrangement, and headed back to the nurses station.
"Here," I said "I don't want you to go away empty handed."
Our first date was a 3 hour cup of coffee. The first thing that I noticed was just how much she liked to push me. She liked to one up me, she liked to keep me working for it. And I liked making her work for every laugh in return.
Our next date was on a Friday. We went out for lunch, and wound up spending the entire afternoon together. From then on out we would spend at the least four hours a day together, some times eight to ten hours.
Saturday she made Muffins for my entire family. Not just my immidate family, but my extended family. We took them to the hospital, and she fit right in. Honestly, she felt like she belonged with them, like she had always been a part of my family.
On Sunday she made mini cheescakes for everyone. She never got to deliver them, as my Grandmother had passed Sunday evening/monday morning.
By Monday we were already discussing meeting her family. That was suppost to come on the next Sunday when everyone would be up for a Birthday Party.
Tuesday, I dropped off a dozen white roses because I didn't think I'ld see her on Wednesday.
Little did I know...
My mother called me on Wednesday to give me the funeral plans for that weekend. And then, she brought up Jess. She told me that my father told her that I asked him just how one proposes to a girl. Now, I DIDN'T ask him this, but since I wanted to talk to mom about it I figured I should just nod and smile.
I asked her just how long it was before Dad proposed to her. She said two weeks. She told me the story of her room mate in college who had gotten engaged after knowing a guy less then a month. How she chided her and told her how irresponsable she was being.
Only to meet dad and wind up getting engaged two weeks into that relationship. On date 3 he proposed to her.
I asked her how she knew that I was that serious about Jess, if I was truely that transparent.
And she said that she was STILL my mother, and that there were things that any mother knew. And she knew that Jess was that serious about this as well, because she made us all muffins so the family would love her.
And then mom said "Jason, I want you to have my ring. I knew that I wanted my children to have it. That when you found someone special, I wanted you to either give it to her, or use it so you could buy one for her. It's in a necklace now. Stacie gets the one I'm wearing now, after I'm gone. But I want you to have my ring."
And my heart just started pounding. I thanked her, I couldn't breathe.
I tried calling a friend to tell her that I needed to calm down. I needed to hear someone to tell me just to relax, take a deep breath, and let things happen.
Well, I couldn't get a hold of anyone. So, in a state of absolute blissfull panic, I called Jess and said these 10 words.
"Jess, my mom gave me her ring. I'm coming over." And hung up immediatly.
According to Jess, as soon as I hung up, her reaction was to yell "HOLEY ####!!!". Amazingly, that seems to be MOST people's reaction when they hear the news.
I remember walking calmly to my door, and then sprinting to my car. I don't believe I was driving safely on my way over to her place. I remember almost tearing my transmission out of my car when I threw it into park, and running to her door.
I knocked, the door opened opened.
And she stood there in shock. Absolute shock. And I just grabbed her, and held her as close as I could. And I just stood there holding her and trembling for a VERY long time, I tried to come up with something, anything to say. I couldn't think of anything, not a bloody thing. I could write a 50000 word novel in a month, but I couldn't come up with ANYTHING. So I just whispered in her ear...
"Marry Me."
And there was silence. A very long akward silence.
And then I said, calmly, and with a tinge of regret. "Too soon huh?"
She just looked at me, speachless. "OK," I said calmly, and took her by the hand and led her to the couch. We sat on her couch, and I fell backwards.
"I cant say yes untill you meet my parents." She said with a smile. "But, Yeah, I will."
That's how I proposed to her.
Our first date was March 7th, I proposed on the 15th...a full week and a day after that first cup of coffee.
Jess just an hour after I proposed to her.
Jess with my family cook book. The my engagement present to her.
We announced my engagement to my family first...at my Grandmother's Wake. And it's odd, but I think my grandmother WANTED it like that. She WANTED her life to be remembered by her family, and by the new additions to it. We weren't suppost to. Heck, she hadn't even officially said "yes" yet. She said "certainly," and "of course" and "Absolutly." But she hadn't said "yes."
But, at the wake, my Brother in Law gave a eulogy on just what this family ment to him. Exactly what made us strong. Excatly why being a member of my mom's family gave to him and to his own family.
And I looked at Jess, and I knew that we had to tell them that there was a new addition to the family. I don't even think I had to say anything, she just smiled and nodded.
We told my Grandfather first, because we had already decided on the name of our first born daughter. We're naming her Agnes, in honor of my Grandmother. And it was Jess' idea to do so. She told ME that she want's to name our first born daughter Agnes because without my grandmother, we'ld have never met.
My grandfather never looked so proud.
Jess, consoling my grandfather at the wake, 2 hours before we broke the news of our engagement. Look at the compassion on her face, that's what I noticed immediatly while she was caring for my grandmother.
Word spread like wildfire after that. And then we decided that it wasn't fair that her family should have to wait until Sunday, so we drove an hour to tell her mother and step father, and her father and step mother.
Wake, engagement announcement, funeral. That was my weekend.
Jess, the morning after we told her parents. Come on, how can you not fall in love with that face?
We had our first date on March Seventh, we were engaged on the Ides of March. Eight days, eight bloody days and it feels like the most natural thing I've ever done.
This is the story of how I met my wife, how we were engaged, and just how bloody natural it feels to find someone that you know is right.
I do know that we WILL have our spats, I know that things WILL be sticky between us from time to time.
But I have faith...I always HAVE had faith that everything works out for a reason and a purpose, that our lives are part of some amazingly complex plan, and are bloody miracalous from start to finish.
The end of my grandmother's life was the start of my life with a woman that I am amazed to call my fiance, and soon, I will call my wife. A woman who will be the mother of my children (and we do want a few of them...five to seven god willing.)
The passing of Agnes Trefehr will lead to the birth of Agnes Siebels. And I cant help but marvel at just how natural that seems, how absolutly brilliant that everything came together.
And I cant help but laughing and smiling. I cant help but just be amazed at how this all plays out. It's so beautifully scripted I just cant help but be astounded by it.
Good luck, and God Bless
-Jason Siebels
3-29-2006
Congratulations 100% on finding true love, man.
