Learning about other people, and learning that you're normal

SpasticSage · Post by **SpasticSage** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:30 pm

I got pointed toward this link today, and I thought to myself:

"My, isn't this the perfect topic for Ghastly's forum"

Why? Because we seem to run along a common theme across topics of talking about the unmentionable, and the theme of posters finding out that if they are weird, at least they are not alone.

I personally can't say I'm "mature" enough to be innocent of these habits.

Also, the website has Jesus in it. So it HAS to be Chick Boy approved.

And if y'all are going to ask me personal questions: for me, number 6 is "fold it"; number 7: I look; and I've personally found that number 8 can be prevented by using cheap paper. By taking the trouble to read this fine print, you obligate yourself to share your experiences.

Naughty/Bad Tentacle Box · Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:48 pm

Jeremiah 16.6: And he brought onto us immaculate bowel movements. And yea, we were thankful.

Swordsman3003 · Post by **Swordsman3003** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 11:05 pm

All are true, sadly.

Putaro · Post by **Putaro** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 11:16 pm

German toilets often have a flat spot for the poop to sit on so before it gets flushed away - presumably so you can look at it.

http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000212.html

Error of Logic · Post by **Error of Logic** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:53 am

I thought that was to prevent your backside getting splashed with toilet water ...

Unholy · Post by **Unholy** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:42 am

Error of Logic wrote:I thought that was to prevent your backside getting splashed with toilet water ...

Yeah I fucking hate that. I put toilet paper in the toilet before I use it to cushion the landing so that there's minimal splash. Ive said too much...

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:54 am

Eh, some things in life you can't avoid. Death, taxes, and toilet water on your ass.

Really, its no big deal.

What IS a big deal are toilets that have the jets positioned so that a blast of cold water chills your cock and soaks your balls every time you flush (when sitting). This is the reason I never use my guest bathroom.

Putaro · Post by **Putaro** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:38 am

squidflakes wrote:What IS a big deal are toilets that have the jets positioned so that a blast of cold water chills your cock and soaks your balls every time you flush (when sitting). This is the reason I never use my guest bathroom.

Huh - only happens around here when I push the button with the woman's head on it - and even then it's nice and warm. Japanese toilets rock! Though I am still trying to figure out why you would need a remote control for your toilet.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:43 am

Ahh Japan, will you ever cease to amaze us.

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 10:28 am

there were some choice sentances in that artical that made me giggle

poopshelf toilet wrote:they were prone to accidentally eating their wedding rings and needed a toilet that allowed them to conveniently rummage through their dung before dispatching it to the abyss

That's a sad thought to think anyone would be prone to swallowing their wedding so many times that the shelf is a nessessity.

poopshelf toilet wrote:It should also be noted that any gentleman who chooses to stand up and use the German Poo-Shelf Toilet for the purpose of bladder-emptying can be expected to enjoy as much splash-back as one might get from say, peeing on a coffee table. The toilet, in all aspects aside from cigarette butt and chewing gum disposal, is utterly useless.

I got this funny mental image of someone squirting their own eye from the back splash.

from the comments wrote: Found your site from SondraK's. As someone there noted...the splashback from a case of the runs could really be horrific.

to thay I made a face, no emote smiley could reproduce. closest I can say is somewhere between

,

, and

HoneyNClover · Post by **HoneyNClover** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 11:51 am

putaro wrote: Huh - only happens around here when I push the button with the woman's head on it - and even then it's nice and warm. Japanese toilets rock! Though I am still trying to figure out why you would need a remote control for your toilet.

Two years ago, I went to japan for the first time. My kanji knowledge was still awfully sketchy. A classmate and I were trying to figure out all the buttons in the bathroom...and we pressed the bidet button. However, with no one sitting on the toilet, the water jets proceeded to squirt everywhere, soaking us and the bathroom. Needless to say, our other classmates wouldn't let us live that moment down

Indigo Violent · Post by **Indigo Violent** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:01 pm

Whoever designs those toilets with the automatic flush must hate people. I swear to God, I so much as twitch when I'm sitting on one and it sends a massive *whoosh!* of freezing water all over my ass. Naturally, the only clean bathrooms in all of Victoria's downtown core have to be the ones in the mall, equipped with this lovely feature.

Gengar003 · Post by **Gengar003** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:00 pm

I sure do love those immaculate poos.

Swordsman3003 · Post by **Swordsman3003** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:13 pm

Me too.

Infinity-Iz-Blue · Post by **Infinity-Iz-Blue** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:02 am

Who doesn't?

And of course there's the occasional movement that you swear had to have come out sideways. I hate them, they make my ring hurt...
...I'd rather have the runs...

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:25 am

This seems fitting for the discussion.

Swordsman3003 · Post by **Swordsman3003** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:43 am

(I like the new avatar)

Yes, it does seem relevant. It seems there are many demons who's functions revolve around our anus.

Error of Logic · Post by **Error of Logic** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:56 am

swordsman3003 wrote:(I like the new avatar)

Yes, it does seem relevant. It seems there are many demons who's functions revolve around our anus.

The ancient Romans actually had a god devoted to that area ... or rather, to what came out of it. -_-; After reading about the many different forms of toilet you guys have described, I'm grateful for having been mostly exposed to hand-operated flushing, table-installed toilets. Really. Bidets aren't even to be thought of.

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:43 pm

Sageypoo wrote:By taking the trouble to read this fine print, you obligate yourself to share your experiences.

uh... yeah. ok.

On number 6, I find "fluff" to be a more accurate term than "crumple". Number 7... Well, think of it this way: Anyone who doesn't look is walking around with shit on their asshole at least some of the time. I imagine no. 8 could also be avoided by not having an asshole that looks like a muppit's eye... (Although, I'll allow, you haven't got a solid idea of the possibilities of hell until you've shaved your own asshole)

I always say: Buy the expensive toilet paper. There are damned few other ways spending an extra dollar can make you a little bit happier so many times.