This is a problem I've always had; I'm not sure how to differentiate faces. That's why I give so many characters individual looks and such, so that people won't be able to tell that I've got a lot of similar faces underneath the hair, scars, etcsincerely wrote:Coiling Spine
art
Hmm. It's good that most of the character's aren't Human, because their anatomy needs some work. Some of the monsters that make up the cast are pretty interesting to look at and to see move. Since the comic is heavily oriented around action, we get to see them move a lot. That said, as in a lot of action-oriented art, it's easy to loose track of the what's going on and and whose who. A lot of time and panel space is put into the Significant Look(tm), and while some effort has been put into differentiating Muratov and Antonina, who being father and daughter, have similar facial markings, most of the human (or human looking) characters are only differentiated by their eye color.
. I'm sure if I could figure out a way to draw noses different that's still at an acceptable art level to me, that it would help greatly. I'll be introducing another person of Muratov and Antonina's kind in January that isn't related to them, so hopefully I can figure this out by then.Thank you. This is what I was hoping for: That people could follow the basics of what's going on until the story itself gets around to explaining it explicitely (late December/early January.)writing
I haven't read very many (if any) post-apocalyptic comics, so this premise is original from my perspective. I don't really understand some of the basic concepts behind the comic (such as why 90%+ of the cast are all freaky-looking monsters) but despite that, it's a pretty interesting and well-laid out story about gang warfare in the radiated desert of the future.
Hmm; I'm hoping this is mostly "The Station" storyline, because I thought I handled "The Valley of Screwing People Over" without as much back-and-forth, with characters talking as things go. As for Kadeo, I'm shifting the gears on that that Kadeo too is getting sick of saying that before every fight just to have them shoot at him anyway.Too some extent I found many of the action sequences a little Dragonball-esque: a lot of talking, and you know from the start who is going to "win" any given encounter, just not how they're going to get there. I got a little tired of Kadeo starting off nearly every fight by reminding his opponents of how unlikely their gun was to fire.
They're coming in time, but I hadn't realized the dialogue thing. I'd given Codine his own speech too, but he's barely talked at all now that I think about it (and I almost accidentally made Damian speak like him recently, but I realized what I was doing and fixed it.) But thank you for this; this is really useful critique. I've been so focused on making sure all the characters had three-dimensional personalities that I hadn't really considered their speech. I will definitely work on that.Dialogue is hit and miss. Many of the characters have their own style of speaking (especially Kadeo and Muratov), but all of the background characters (and many of the minor characters before they get more thoroughly introduced) tend to be just carbon copies of each other when it comes to speaking, taunting, boasting, and threatening. I'd like to see some more sentiments than just rage, overconfidence, and indignation.
Sorry; I designed it with 1000something in mind. As for the wasted space, while I have stuff I could put up there, I wasn't sure if it'd be good or bad to put a bunch of stuff up around the comic. For some reason I really just want it to be the comic alone up there. As for the layout of the comic itself, I actually just made alterations to that on Sunday... though they won't be visible until December 8th. But it gives a larger view for panels, so with more space for art, I'll hopefully be able to make the action clearer.layout
It's relatively easy to follow the panel layout and word balloons. Though I sometimes get lost as far as what the action is portraying, it's not the fault of the layout. I like the tartan background, too, though it doesn't represent the content of the comic in anyway, I find it very appropriate. There's a lot of wasted space to the right and left of the comic, and it took me a little bit to find the buttons on the right of the comic (my computer can't handle higher than 800x600 resolution, so I'm pretty used to that).
PPSSSH!overall
I've always been bad at writing conclusions. It's a pretty basic story. The dialogue needs work, but the major characters at least seem to have personalities to support it. The action sequences would be most helped by a clearer understanding of anatomy (even the monster characters would benefit from this), but it already holds up to scrutiny based on the author's understanding of perspective.[/qupte]
I'll work on that (I'm assuming you mean movement; I usually focus too much on the right camera angle) In fact, pairing this with the dialogue criticism, and the faces, I think one of the problems I need to work on not over-focusing on one aspect to the point that I'm neglecting other aspects.
It's worth reading at least a chapter to get an idea of whether the style and content are for you.
I'm holding out for possible romantic underpinings between Antonina and Kadeo. Pffh, heehee.
Hahahaha!Thank you so much for this review. I'll definitely work on the things you've said. This is extremely helpful. Thank you!
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