Dramatis Personae
- Felix (Marcus Antonius Felix): Ex-legionary soldier suffering from an unsatisfactory job and too many people making plans for him.
- Mus (Alexander): Son of a wealthy fish-pickle sauce distributor. Making plans for Felix.
- Elisa and Aster: Mus' ambitious sisters. Elisa would like a little freedom. Aster would like to grow up to be Hercules.
- Vitalis: Barkeep and homeowner. Also ambitious. Can't decide whether she'd rather marry Felix off to her daughter or keep him for herself.
- Petronia Iusta: Ingenue, daughter of Vitalis and Petronius Stephanus. Hopes to have a torrid romance some day.
- Seianti: Best friend of Petronia Iusta. Etruscan. Periodically refuses to speak Latin out of cultural pride.
- Calatoria Themis: Stepmother of Petronia Iusta and priestess of Isis and easily irritated, especially by no-account men.
- Calatorius Speudon: No-account cousin of Calatoria.
- Spendusa: Overworked kitchen servant, bequeathed to Iusta.
- Menander: Underworked house servant, purchased by Mus.
- Caius: Petronius Stephanus' secretary, accountant, and right-hand man. Needs more sleep.
- Helvius: Physician and Petronia's tutor. Likes horror stories.
- Ati Nacna: Seianti's weird old auntie in the hills.
- the Blues: A police force established by the city's wealthiest family. Mostly protects the city's wealthiest family. Occasionally hired out for nefarious moonlighting.
- the Bear: Still in the story, but this time with company.
- Domitian: Not easily gotten rid of.
