by Yamcha Hibiki on Mon Jun 18, 2001 11:31 am
You know, every time they make a live action movie based on a video game 9/10 of the time it's going to suck, well the movie I review today was no different. What movie am I talking about? Tomb Raider.
It's been a long time since I've seen a stupid movie in a theater, and furthermore I never saw a movie that I walked out on, well I almost walked out on this movie, but let's get to the point.
The story of Tomb Raider is how Lara Croft, a noted tomb raider is trying to find the hidden pieces of a treasure called the "Triangle of Light" that her father was searching for before her, but watch out Lara, a evil organization called "The Illuminaty" are after it to, and will use it's powers to take over the world (gasp)! Sounds pretty generic, huh? Well it is.
See I knew this movie would be generic and stupid when I went to watch it, but for gods sake I was hoping for at least a good action scene. Well, there's none worth seeing the movie for, cause the mere stupidity of the movie ruins the action. I mean everytime I thought it couldn't get any stupider, it did. First there was Lara fighting the goofy robot, I was willing to except that. Then she started running on the sides of the walls of her house, statues started coming to life in ancient temples, Lara gets sucked up into a glowing globe, Lara forgets to not hold a knife by the blade and cuts herself, and the idiot villain magically knows how to fight in the ending. Yup, this is one DAMN stupid movie. I especially like how dumb the villain is in this movie, I know all movie villains are generally pretty stupid, but this guy made the villains of the old Josie and the Pussycats cartoons look brilliant. I could go on about how I hated this movie or thought it was stupid, but I think every time I remember parts of this movie my IQ goes down several points, so I'll stop before I become a drooling vegetable.
Overall on a scale of 1 and 5, I give this movie a 1, cause it's the lowest rating I can give <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif"> This movie is formulaic, stupid, and horribly done, and if you have the real want to see a good Tomb Raider movie, you may just have to resort to watching an Indiana Jones movie and pretend that Indy is Lara Craft, cause the movie actually called Tomb Raider is anything but good. <P><P>------------------
Yamcha Hibiki:
<A HREF="http://yamcha.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Shinkutokimekisempukaku</A> - It's not just a gamer comic, it's a space gamer comic!
<A HREF="http://kane.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Sub-Culture</A> - A mouse, a fox, and a whole lot of nothing.
<A HREF="http://comicollage.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>Comicollage</A> - Proving that even 7 people put together can't make a decent comic. :p