The Danger of Telling Family About Obsessions . . .

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The Danger of Telling Family About Obsessions . . .

Postby UnicornEmily on Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:35 am

Dustin's comment that he made the mistake of telling his grandmother that he likes dragons, thereby ensuring that she would send him a new dragon every year, made me laugh. It's SO the kind of thing that really happens!

I'm obsessed with unicorns. So what happens? I mention to my mom that I love unicorns, and she starts buying me every cheap plastic, badly-put-together unicorn she can find anywhere. (Um, great.) And then she starts doing the same with horses. HORSES! I mean, horses are okay, but they're so not the same thing . . .

My brother's crazy about dragons. Therefore, he keeps getting dragons from everyone, and not always the quality variety, either. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to mind overmuch.

My little sister keeps going through phases where she likes something a lot, her current obsession always ending because people (most noticeably our mom) overload her so much with that current obsession that she grows sick of it. In the past few years, I can remember her loving ballerinas, dogs, purple jewelry, humongous stuffed animals, cherries, etc., and now she doesn't even like any of them anymore.

And then there's my grandmother, who seems to have mistakenly decided all of her grandchildren love historical fiction, even though all of us in MY immediate family are sci-fi/fantasy nerds. We tend to be routinely baffled by her choice in presents!

Anyway, I got that was a great little detail about Dustin, and it made me laugh with recognition. He seems lucky to be getting really pretty dragon statues -- I mean, all the ones in that first panel are beautiful!

Oh, and by the way, I still don't like Jess. The Evil Girlfriend must go DOWN!
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Postby Narf the Mouse on Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:30 pm

Warning: I'm feeling philosophical.

Unfortunately, some people don't understand the difference between motivation and technique.

It's related to the 'good intentions leading to hell' fallacy; both the intended idea and the saying being different fallacies.

First; good intentions never lead to hell. Good intentions combined with *bad ideas can lead to bad intentions and thus hell, if one starts blaming others.

Actually, that explains both fallacies.

There is a tendency for a person to think their intentions somehow justify their actions; for example, in a recent forum interaction (On another forum) I attempted to encourage responses to my post in a way that, it was explained to me, strongly resembled nagging - Or possibly even whining. While this was not my intention, intention is only part of an interaction. The actual technique or pattern used is the other part and unfortunately, I chose a bad one. When this was pointed out (In a PM), my first reaction was anger - 'I have intended no such thing, therefore I have done no such thing!' was essentially my first reaction.

However, I had - To explain, it does not matter to certain parts of a situation such as, if you wave your fist in the air, not intending to hit anyone, and hit someone, you have still hit someone. Furthermore, and most people know this, if you don't apologize, there's not much difference than if you had intended to punch them.

While my actions were not hurtfull in near the same way, they still resulted in damage, even if temporary, to my relationships on that forum. And both situations are the result of bad technique; most people would only accidently hit someone with their fist if they are unaware of that person. In a similar manner, I was insufficiently aware of a social convention and thus precipitated an accident.

This came about because of a lack of understanding on my part; I have a lack of natural talent for social interaction and have had to train that ability.

Similarly, a person may engage in activities which they are convinced are beneficial for another person, but which use either a bad technique or pattern or which are wrong for the person and/or situation.

However, it is my firm conviction that the same action done with good intentions will always come to a better result than the same action done with bad intentions.

* I value-judge actions, not people.
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Postby UnicornEmily on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:10 am

Excellent philosophical rant, Narf! I agree with you about that! I've always had issues with the idea that good intentions can lead to hell -- I've always found that a stupid saying. Good ideals + no intention to DO anything about them can lead to hell, yes -- but not good intentions that a person is acting on. God doesn't judge by the outward appearance, after all; He judges by the heart.

Which, bringing this back to the original idea, means we must be patient and longsuffering when relatives give us presents we don't much want, I suppose! ;) Though I still reserve the right to not-so-subtly hint things like, "Umm . . . this isn't really something I wanted . . ."
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Postby Narf the Mouse on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:02 am

It wasn't actually a rant. More of a dissection.
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Postby DrunkenPrayer on Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:19 am

So if I told my parents about my fascination with anime and women in maids uniforms do you think I could get one?
An anthropomorphic maid is for life, not just for Christmas.*










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Postby Lunaroki on Wed Jan 16, 2008 11:49 am

Man, if I could convince someone to get me an anthropomorphic maid I would definitely want the hentai dating sim plug-in! ;D
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Postby Tom the Fanboy on Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:07 pm

Lunaroki wrote:Man, if I could convince someone to get me an anthropomorphic maid I would definitely want the hentai dating sim plug-in! ;D


Emphasis on the plug-in!
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Postby Narf the Mouse on Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:53 pm

And they say romance is dead.
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Postby Dustman on Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:49 pm

*Obligatory necrophilia joke*
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Postby Lei on Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:12 pm

Fortunately, I come from a family who believes in the value of Gift Certificates. I get 20 bucks for a trip to the bookstore and instructions to knock myself out, and there we go.
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Postby Chibiyuri on Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:35 am

I've told my family that I like "Hello Kitty" and "It's Happy Bunny" stuff, and any time anyone sees anything with either on it, they get it for me.....
Think about it..... yes...... I have toilet paper with that crazy bunny on it :shucks: :shifty:
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Postby DrunkenPrayer on Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:15 am

Lei wrote:Fortunately, I come from a family who believes in the value of Gift Certificates. I get 20 bucks for a trip to the bookstore and instructions to knock myself out, and there we go.


Pretty much the same here, I usually get some clothes and lots of Borders gift cards.
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