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What do you think of the Comic?
Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:59 pm
All right, let's get things started with a topic. I'd like feedback, kind of a small review of the comic as a whole. What do you all think of it? What are your criticisms, your responses to the subject matter. What do I do well and what do I fail miserably at? What are some things I could do to improve and what things should I continue to do?
Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 11:51 am
The bad: Well...The art almost looks like I could have drawn it myself. Then again, progress since the first pages is visible, and I can tell what's going on - so, no big.
Story-wise, I worry at times that in the attempt to portray Lightbringer's philosophy, the villains might end up as straw men for different viewpoints. It's hard to see someone like general Werr comitting the kind of acts he did and giving half the profit to charity "for part the greater good" - but it's not outright impossible, either.
The good: Several interesting characters already, an equally interesting philosophical side, and a fresh approach that feels like the writer has learned the lessons of regular comics. Both original and fun. (I'm thinking of the way things went with the police, or how Lightbringer handled Hannah's request to join the team).
I found this comic a few days ago through Al Schroeder's Mindmistress, and so far, it looks like it'll be a fun ride.
Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 8:03 pm
Well, thanks for saying the art's improving! I sometimes fear it's not getting any better. ^^;;
The concern of the villains being villainous if only for the sake of promoting different philosophies is to my attention and hopefully that kind of process will be broken with the introduction of White Death (I love what I've come up with for her origin!) and the six villains created in the recent contest.
Hopefully I'll break a few more superhero conventions in the Issues to come. I want to both reinforce certain mythos regarding the superhero as well as break some clichés. ^_~
Glad to know the fanart from Mindmistress garnered me some new fans! Also thanks for being the first to post in the forum (besides me)!
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 11:20 pm
I've been touting the merits of your comic for a while. There are some comics I read strictly for the art, some for the writing. Your art is still in its Developing stages and some formal lessons would benefit it as well as plenty of practice, but the writing is really what I read lightbringer for. It's good to see a level headed, thinking super hero, whom as a comic book fan himself sees and attempts to avoid the cliches but at the same time makes foolish mistakes when he gets carried away with fulfilling his comic book dream.
For drawing I might recommend the book "Drawing on the right side of the brain." It's the bible of many an art teacher.
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:30 am
Here's the review
I gave on choicecomics.net a couple months ago.
Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:02 pm
The review I'm about to give may be a bit more critical then those that have been posted on this page up until this point. An open mind might not be a bad mindset to have upon reading.
As far as developing comics go, Lightbringer has it's ups and downs. Although it has attracted my attention three times a week, I still would not endorse this comic other enthusiasts; that threshold has yet to be passed.
While the comic updates frequently and provides a well-paced story, the narrative is sadly flat. As far as this comic has come, there has yet to be a character that contains innovation or personality.
The title character, a store manager by day, light bending vigilante by night, is a one such character that is sadly lacking in basic personality. Toted as a level headed character above the common mistakes and emotions regular super heroes face, the Lightbringer lacks almost any kind of emotion whatsoever.
Lightbringer is almost too perfect- a good guy who wields light with incredible power to satisfy a city that loves him. Even his overt situation lacks drama and complication. While some heroes are hated by the city they protect, and others do so to controversial ends, Lightbringer's reputation stands above the fray, without any other dimension of drama to compensate.
Not only is Lightbringer's popularity without problem, his mental faculties are superhumanly problem-free as well, to a flat and unrealistic degree. Lightbringer does not make mistakes- he knows everything a good caped vigilante should know and then some. Despite the problems his character avoids with his mental prowess, Lightbringer's situation seems boring and unrealistic because of it. Once again, as Lightbringer stands above the common fray of other superheroes, the higher drama, which should be reserved for only the greatest superheroes, is nowhere to be found.
Lightbringer's alter ego, Carter Granholme lacks the same dimension his alter ego desperately needs. Managing a moderately successful furniture store, Carter is still level headed and capable. Even Carter's angst over his parent's pacifistic beliefs are steamrollered quickly, so Lightbringer can torture gang members high above the streets.
One would think that growing up in a home of pacifists would have a profound effect on the Lightbringer, but instead the hero decides rather quickly that pacifism is "Completely and Utterly Wrong" (Let there be Light part 1) It does not help that the "Pacifism" that Granholme overcomes in the first issue has little similarity to the Pacifism used by Gandhi and Martin Luther King. Granholme sees pacifism as indifferent compliance, not passive resistance and civil disobedience, which is how it has been used correctly in real life.
Pacifism is not alone in the numerous moral dilemmas Lightbringer easily pushes aside in the comic, along with them are freedom of the press, compromise and the place where the line between right and wrong blur together. Each issue is either poorly defined, weakly supported or knocked down with a seriously flawed argument. For a comic that is abundant with moral standpoints, such is a very unfortunate flaw.
Not only do the moral dilemmas within the comic need more substance, so does the narrative structure, which is largely broken in Chapters 1 and 4. (1 needs more transition and 4 has almost no ending.) The narrative of the comics as a whole is often not enough to stand by itself, and is often explained or completed within its associated text, which is conventionally used for supplemental purposes within webcomics.
I still read Lightbringer, often daily, despite it's flat characters, flat moral points, and sub-par plot structure. (Enough has been said about the drawings.) If there is one thing that Lightbringer has, it is a story that has hooked me for some reason that shouldn't exist. Maybe it's because I think there's a possibility it will get better with enough effort and focus. I hope that's it, since it has been improving, and because I sincerely wish Mr. Lovhaug good luck, and hope that he becomes the writer he wishes to be. I hope this critique becomes irrelevant as Lovhaug gains knowledge and experience.
Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:53 pm
First of all, thanks for reading! Secondly - SCREW YOU!
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
Seriously, thanks for the honest critique. Being critical of my work helps me become a better writer and make the story better as a result. I'm glad you're sticking with it despite the problems you have with it and hopefully I'll be able to use your critiques to the betterment of the comic.
While promoting the comic earlier today on the forums of Girl-Wonder.org, it suddenly came to me the same thing you have said - that Carter seems to lack a very clearly personality. Sure, there is his adherence to his morality and his anger at things that violate those ethics, but that can't be entirely what a person is. It's something I'll have to work on in upcoming issues. I suppose the problem of presenting him as fairly level-headed is that it takes away from some of the emotional struggle that developing heroes often get as they make mistakes and I'll have to rectify that.
I'm surprised you've mentioned how the city loves him when I haven't been very explicit in that point so far. ^_~ Sure, there are Carter's co-workers who have mentioned their liking of Lightbringer, but I haven't gotten into the meat of the city's opinion of him, yet.
As for the pacifism angle, I'm afraid you're right when the pacifism that Carter's parents believed in is different from the ones used by Ghandi and King. I also admit my failure to completely address the issue of Lightbringer's rather quick dismissal of all of his parents' teachings, something I've been meaning to get back to for a while and will be mentioned in issue 6. As for freedom of the press, I'll disagree when I say I haven't shoved it aside as more like I've launched a criticism of a trend or two I've seen in the press today - creating an unwarranted sense of fear for the people who watch the news or read the newspaper and wanting to go after "facts" that will either put people in danger or be counterproductive to certain efforts designed to make the world better.
Issue 1 is indeed brief in its narrative, something I'm thinking of most definitely fixing when I release a trade paperback of the first six issues, with adding in more pages to help show Carter's internal struggle and improve the narrative. Issue 4 is intentionally meant to be open-ended since it's meant to be a prologue for the upcoming webcomics superhero crossover that's been mentioned in another thread, which Lightbringer will be playing a big part in.
Again, thanks for reading and I appreciate the critique. ^_^ Hope you like what's to come!
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:38 am
I hope I will too; glad to be of service
Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:58 am
So, in my opinion, the art is improving, adn yes, "drawing on the right side of the brain" will help. Your artwork is all left-brain symbols. Easy to fix, makes art more fun, too.
The plot is excellent. Anyone who says otherwise is a doofus. The basic needs of the characters, why they appear, what they do, it all fits nicely. Howver, the dialogue is a little clunky. Or, perhaps, a little too brief. Take, for example, the first issue. Could have used a little more explaining about what's going on in LB's head. In my head, he sounds a bit like Marv from Sin City. Yep, the film.
Or, for the comic of 2/2/07, when Darkbringer does his villain rant, that could have used a little polish. I understand that it's not your viewpoint, so bonus points for explaining a contradicting view as well as you have, but since I know where he's coming from a bit, it seems a little too... truncated for my tastes. A bit too simplified. DB has a lot of potential, he is one of the most interesting characters I've seen in a long time. He carries no delusions about who or what he is.
Keep up the good work, keep improving, and most of all, Keep in the light!
Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:52 am
Artwork is going to take a huge turn in Friday's update, settling out by Issue 8 in my new style (albeit this isn't news for those who explore the main Comic Genesis forum. ^_~).
Glad you like the plot! I'm raising my eyebrow, though, at the dialogue being brief. Most who have criticized the comic actually take the opinion that I say too much, in particular to provide exposition (it's part of the problem of transitioning from writing novels to comics).
Oooohhhh, yeah, that page needs polishing. ^_~ Trust me, I've been chewed out for that, not really for the philosophical aspect (albeit people do criticize me for having to explain it further in the notes) but for the fact that it's a page mostly of text that could've easily been split into multiple panels with different angles and letting the dialogue flow from panel to panel.
Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:30 pm
New reader, here, I just finished the archive at a dead run. I'll try not to go as in-depth as Wandering Observer did, because it looked like we had very similar critiques; all the same, I'm going to tell you what I see in LB. Be forewarned: I'm a die-hard liberal; the obvious conservative themes of the comic have definitely left me with a bias, and it probably works into my evaluation.
There are a lot of successful webcomics out there with poor art; Giantitp.com's "Order of the Stick" is done entirely with simple shapes and bland backgrounds, but it's still one of the best-known and most loved comics out there. Hell, "XKCD" is just hand-drawn stick figures, and has a following.
There are several with weak story or characters whose art is impressive enough to offset this weakness.
Unfortunately, your comic suffers from a touch of weakness in both areas. the art, as discussed before, has shown marked improvement, and I applaud your development as an artist (stick with the shading, it's much more pleasing to look at). And some people have a story to share or joke to tell but no artistic talent to speak of; I mean, you're better than I guess I'd be at drawing.
Your real downfall, then, has to be the weakness of the characters. Like the Observer said above, LB is "too perfect." We've yet to see him struggle with anything on a moral or emotional level, at least since his decision to become a hero. In fact, his earlier exploits bordered on psychotic; it was like he took a weird pleasure in taking down crooks, not because it was right, but because he could. It seemed at first as if it was a game to him. Even later on, he lacks realistic human characters; he spouts "wisdom" with perfect confidence, he has no interesting relationships (even Our Lady of the Purple Hair doesn't really play a role outside of serving as a possible cliched romantic interest). The most compelling character so far has been a villain, the Darkbringer, as one who is sure he knows what's right despite it being different from the common view. He seemed more believable than LB, who goes from distressed over a villain's escape to ready to go continue the arse-kicking in ten seconds flat.
And the dialogue has never seemed real; it's all told with one voice, clearly the author's, just emanating from different sources. Even simply giving someone an accent would help; as it is, the only way to distinguish betweem one character's sort of speech and another's is to guess whether Lewis likes the character or not, and that only gives you a chance of getting it right.
I would love to see a reason LB has powers, too. Superman was an alien, Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider, Batman is just rich and bored, but LB has nothing. No story to his powers, no science, just "Oh would you look at that. I can do things!" He doesn't even wonder himself, doesn't question why he's different, just beats up bad guys. Whee.
Overall, the comic seems to serve one real purpose. It's a fantasy world for the author. No offense, Lovhaug, and I'm not saying you're crazy or have problems or anything. I, too, have written yarns abut characters who are built around me. But your whole world is; everything seems to exist as an outlet for political rants, philosophies (which I personally tend to disagree with) and projection for the author. The story is buried beneath it, and it's mostly burdensome. Some things (needing violence to attain peace, for instance) can be worked into the story with some grace, which you've managed somewhat. But it gets excessive in LB. Think more about the story, the characters, what makes LB unique in a world of comic heroes. Write that. Don't turn it into a battlefield for your opinions alone.
I'll conclude with a positive note; I will continue reading LB, for a while at least. Even when I disagree with it, it is an easy read; it doesn't drag, or get tedious, or make me wish I'd never looked at it. It has potential. Work that. And don't hate me for being critical!
Or hate me if you so desire, I suppose. Your call. But you seem more reasonable than that
Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:59 pm
Nope, sorry. Hate you, you commie liberal tree-hugging liberal commie terrorist!
I kid, I kid!
Actually I find the Order of the Stick style (while not something I regularly read due to how many webcomics I read already) to be pretty good in its simplicity, especially since when I think of stick figures I tend to think of the kind shown in Flash cartoons where the stick figure tries to destroy its creator (circle for a head, sticks for arms, legs, and body) and still manages to create unique looks for each character.
The criticism of LB being too perfect is something I have received before. When I initially conceived of the character, I had imagined in my mind a hero akin to those of DC's Golden or Silver Age, one who was confident, loved their work, and somehow always knew how to do the right thing when the situation called for it. Essentially, more or less a HAPPY guy, which I fear that a lot of superheroes have fallen away from. Sadly, this has taken on the form of a character, then, who has no faults. And as such, we're going to be seeing a correction on this and see a bit more turmoil - stuff I hinted at in Issue 6 when he first was flying up to face the Darkbringer - "I never told Hannah this, but after my first night out as Lightbringer, I came back to the store and threw up all over my desk." Next week, when we end Issue 7, we're going to develop this a bit more.
I find it highly amusing that now two people refer to Hannah as "Purple-Haired Girl" or "Lady with the Purple Hair" when I always think of her as having pink hair. ^_~ Tomato and tomahto, I suppose. Hannah's development is going to take a huge step up in Issue 8 with the entire storyline focusing around her, what she does back in the basement, and her relationships with others. I'll also try to give her a more thorough character than just "the girl who sits in the basement talking to Lightbringer" and give her a better voice.
As for where LB gets his powers from... well, I'm still not telling. I may never tell in Lightbringer, either. It's just one of those things that'll either be forgotten... or saved for when we have characters who also have a bit of Might
as it were. ^_~ I will say Lightbringer's human. He wasn't descended from angels or demons or aliens or parallel universe monsters nor is he some evolutionary leap up.
Yeah, in some respects I suppose I get too mired in my own beliefs to let the story just flow naturally. As such, I'll try to continue working on the critiques you've brought up. ^_^
Thanks for reading (and being willing to continue reading) and telling me directly what problems you think the comic has!
Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:50 am
To be honest, Lost_Legends has a point - it sometimes feels as if the villains are straw men for the belief that the ends justify the means.
Then again, it's probably hard to have a philosophical belief as one of the main themes of a story and keep avoiding this kind of pitfalls. Never really had to deal with it myself - my stories are less about philosophy than battles of wits...
Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:20 am
Yeah, I've noticed that about my villains, too. Issue 8 will feature no villains and Issues 9-11 will feature very little philosophy, focusing more on the group of supervillains created by the readers.
Re: What do you think of the Comic?
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:13 am
Hello there. I stumbled into your comic while randomly clicking links in tvtropes. My apologies for performing some thread necromancy but, since this seems to be the right thread for comments, I decided to post here instead of making a new one.
I like what you're trying to accomplish by exploring what it means to be a superhero and starting from scratch by having the first superhero emerge and seeing how the world reacts. I think the story is interesting enough. The artwork is fine too.
I have to agree with the previous comments that LB/Carter is pretty bland as a main character. I think the problem lies in that you're trying to accomplish too much out of him too quickly and he's not quite up to the task. He's the mouthpiece for the comic's philosophy, he's a case study on superheroism and an attempt to return to a more idealistic image of superheroes. These are all good endeavors but I think he should be a person first and that is something the comic doesn't spend much time on. The comic is trying to answer the "big" questions about LB by focusing mostly on his beliefs and what's his stand on this and that. Perhaps you should try to answer the "little" questions too. When your reader starts to care about him as a person then, maybe, the reader can appreciate his philosophical dilemmas.
For example, in one issue, we see him in what we can assume to be his room while talking to a picture of his parents. Now we see nothing in his room save for the picture and the dresser that it is on and he seems to have pink walls. Now, I'm not commenting on the background art but his room is a good place to start answering the little questions. What would you find in Carter's room? We know he's a comic book fan so maybe there's some shelves there with comics. What else would he have there and what would those things say about him? Does he have a porn stash? Is he tidy or messy? What's inside his refrigerator? Does he cook his meals? Order out? or does he live on cup noodles and microwave dinners? These small things help humanize him. You don't have to show your reader the room but having an answer to those sort of questions can help ground him as a person.
Then there's his relationship with Sandra/Scarlet Baroness. I'm sorry but I just didn't buy that at all. I haven't figured out what he liked about her, save for them having some things in common, and then their relationship ended before I could get a chance to do so; apparently in an attempt to create a "dating catwoman" kind of scenario. That's also a nice place to start. What does he like in a woman? Does he find looks important? Does he have a fetish? What does he look for in a relationship?
I hope some of those comments help. It's been an enjoyable read and I'm sticking around for more.
Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:23 am
My biggest problem with this series is that most of your villains seem to want the same thing. While I do agree that Lightbringer himself comes off as a little bland and preachy, I think that the supporting cast (especially osprey) dilute from that fact by sound boarding his weaknesses as a character. saving us all from emo carter. I also think your starting to show that he is more than a little troubled than we've been led to think, which is a plus.
But The Fiend is a connoisseur of villainy, and your rogues gallery is more than a little weak in terms of characterization and motivation so far. So I'm going to have to emphasize my point by having your characters tell you what their problems are Lewis. Don't take it personally, I do love Lightbringer and think you have improved greatly from those days of yesteryear. But for now here are my critiques and I hope I can give you a little chuckle out of them if nothing else.
Darkbringer: I was raised in another dimension to be a card carrying master of darkness. I want to kill Lightbringer because I disagree with his philosophy (although I don't seem to have one of my own other than happiness hurts and darkness is my best friend that won't loan me money) But never mind THAT! you represent everything I hate in this world Lightbringer! Sunshine and rainbows and kittens! They are a lie! a Falsehood! Only hellfire, damnation, and Lincoln Park can save you from your sins! REPENT!!!
The Gentleman: Same as him except I'm somehow Jack the Ripper. Although I think if I had been this fond of monologuing in real life my identity would have been revealed much quicker and I would not have gone on to be the legend of serial killing that I am. Paradox methinks.
Scarlett Baroness: I'm secretly Sandra. You know, that one character who dated Carter that one time for all of 5 panels. then you never saw or heard much of me again...well now I'm back so Lb officially has a batman/catwoman relationship. Whoo!!!
The Supervillain Contest Winners: We're the best developed villains in this comic...too bad we turned out to be working for Darkbringer the whole time. Why did he hire us again? How were we getting paid? How do you kill a Fire Demon? Why are all of us so hellbent on killing this one guy even though he's going to jail and for once the law seems to be working properly in this town? Will Lacey Boyle drop the soap? Go ask Harvey Dent, he's in the next cell over. As for the rest we hope we get some answers in the 9-11 issues. Also, I love the power glove...it's so bad.
Smiling Man: *sips tea* hmm? Oh no complaints here. I was very well developed during the Crossoverlord incident. Although I do wish I could get more screen time in this comic, especially since I was the first villain. For now I am content to spend the rest of my days sitting on this rock with nothing but a book, my wife's body, and my good friend Q to tell me jokes.
and Lewis, I do hope you will take advantage of what the translation for Lightbringer is in Latin.
Re: What do you think of the Comic?
Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 8:15 pm
Might as well add my $.02 as well. Overall, like Lightbringer. A few points, in no particular order:
- CR's artwork was nicer to look at than Sage's and Gouldart's (yes, I know they're pseudonyms). CR gave the comic its own lightweight style, which was a good fit because Lightbringer never took itself too seriously.
- I thought that the writing was strong, even when the artwork was lacking during the first few issues. The dialogue between Carter/Lightbringer and Hannah/Osprey had a natural back-and-forth feel, IMO. There aren't many errors in continuity or characters acting grossly out-of-character, which is good.
- I actually like that the story hasn't delved into the origin of Lightbringer's powers. It's almost like the movie Tremors in that regard: there's only so many ways to explain the supernatural so let's just focus on the action.
- As a previous poster mentioned, the 'Legacy of Chains' villians seemed to be the most developed (Bruiser, and the implications that Police Chief Crane isn't squeeky clean, in particular - besides Smiling Man in Crossoverlord), and I did kind of like where the White Death storyline was going before the latest hiatus. The rogues gallery needs to be more defined.
- Other than that, occassionally Lightbringer feels like it deals on a VERY small scale. I have the feeling Pharos City is supposed to be an urban metropolis; it oftentimes feels as a very small town. The comic has eluded to multiple gangs fighting for the Slaver's turf, but that really hasn't been shown. All the villians emerging after Lightbringer's first issue takes away a little bit from the suspension of disbelief (he's the first superhero, yet there are multiple supervillians with their own powers and abilities).
For what it is - a good-natured superhero story that's slightly self-aware and doesn't take itself too seriously - I liked reading through Lightbringer. Not saying it's perfect, but it's shown complete improvement throughout its run. Bare in mind this is coming from someone who doesn't read comics in general (outside of a few X-Men books I had during my youth, I haven't picked up a panelled page in over a decade!).
Re: What do you think of the Comic?
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:48 pm
Found light bringer yesterday I think. I don't remember how. I love it, though I have to say I agree with a lot of the things people had said already. No need to repeat them.
Edit: There is one thing I'd like to make mention of. Hannah's experiment, the one where she purposefully got herself mugged. I don't know, it just never seemed right. I mean its an extremely large risk. Say the person who ended mugging her was armed with a knife, maybe a gun. Maybe Hannah can handle herself in a fight, but that's not confidence in ones abilities, that's down right arrogant. Maybe it was a character flaw you wanted to use? If so I haven't seen much of it since. I do like the character, especially with her as Osprey, but I have to say it was the one moment in reading the series where I jsut wanted to drop. It might not seem like a big deal to some, but to me it feels like she didn't seem to understand the risk she was putting herself in, and by doing so she was making light of the cities plight.
Re: What do you think of the Comic?
Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:28 pm
Someone has already posted what is wrong with this series generally quite well, so I'll just touch on some specifics that jumped out at me.
Lightbringer: the name seems to be pretentous, implying that this person will bring clarity, reason, hope, goodness and salvation to the people of this city. In fact more than once he states that he is there to "save" everyone, and it seems that it is more than just a declaration of his intent to keep them out of harms way, but to actually bring them closer to god. Not only is the light/savior parallel there, but the dark/evil parallel surfaces pretty quickly as his nemesis puts in a protracted appearance and nearly kills him several times. Sure, having him overcome his arch-nemesis easily would beg the question of why have an arch-nemesis if they were that ineffectual anyway.
It seems to me that the police force would have had to be almost totally corrupt for the slavers to function with any effectiveness, but this has barely been touched on. I would have had LB ask the detective why he
should toe the line of the law when the officers upholding that law don't even abide by it. I'd say "clean up your own doorstep before telling me I need to sweep". anyway, it felt very unrealistic and contrived that even a short time after LB appeared, that things were just automatically totally different and "fixed". It would take months before any significant change was made, maybe years, and that's even assuming one man in a mask with powers had any real effect at all.
I liked the idea of the bracelets that are used to obscure the true source of his power, namely him, (a move I have thought of many times)but in all the stories so far, it hasn't even been mentioned. Is it not working? Do people just assume they can't get the bracelets and so don't even try? I wonder what he would do if someone actually got ahold of his bracelets or damaged them badly. Would he still use his powers, thus revealing that that impression is a ruse, or whip out replacement ones, or stand there while someone dies? It would be interesting to see what he does.
It seems odd that we only get to see him battle villians that either vastly outclass him (happy man) , are his equal (darkbringer) , or believe something really indefensable like the General or the Gentleman, that their evil actions result in a lot of good. Where are his everyday triumphs?
The General - his rant should have been easily shot down or ignored completely. I would have just told him all the good he had done was far easily outweighed by any ONE of his kidnapping/slavery acts. Personally, I would have just gone in and shot the sucker, silencing him before he could rant any more. Why should I even listen to his obviously warped and wrong views? The Gentleman seems even more ridiculous. Killing prostitutes to wake up society? Most people would cheer or think they just got what's coming to them. No one would consider it a tradgedy, especially one that would lead us to do anything differently. BTW, what exactly was it he wanted us to do differently anyway? I never figured that out.
The entire series has some very odd ideas and actions floating around in it. LB says he won't kill because it is wrong, and while I agree that killing in general IS wrong, taking the law into our own hands is not. Our government seems to have taken the position that only it can punish criminals and that we individuals should not have that power. I'm sorry, but I think emasculating us in this way is a very insidious evil tool to make us totally dependent upon and subjected to the whims of the state. If I shot a guy raping a woman, I feel that I am justified and that no charges should be even able to be filed. On Law and Order, we see all the time where people acting in self defense or defense of others are able to be charged with criminal action. This is absurd! This is why so many people fear the police and do not respect the law, because criminals now have rights. The definition of a criminal used to be one who has put himself outside the law. Therefore they have no rights because they have taken themselves out from under its protection and benefit. I would have just had LB state that he doesn't kill so that he can remain within the realm of the law.
The scene where he defends his right to appear in court with his mask on was good, but I have always looked at it as the masked vigilante is appearing as the masked vigilante, not as his alternate identity. Movie stars have never been required to state their
legal name, their aliases are perfectly acceptable. Therefore, appearing as LB, it is LB who is the witness, not his alternate. It is LB who is responsible for his actions and would be named in any litigation, as his alternate self did not do them.
Personally, no matter what the court said, I would refuse to remove my mask or reveal my identity. I would say "fine me all u want, I won't pay, nor will I comlpy. Now let us focus on the matter at hand, and if the court wishes to pursue legal action against me for my refusal, then we can take that up immediately after my testimony, but if you place me outside the law, then you free me from being bound by any of it and I may hencefourth do as I please. I am not a citizen, and am only appearing here in the spirit of cooperation."
It seems really odd that the girl, Hannah Ments, would take so long making a costume and training. Hell, if I was LB, I'd have her come along on every mission, even if just hidden and observing, as backup. It seemed really odd that LB just kept ordering her around and treating her as an employee. He would have been much more effective taking part in building their lair, as it would give him a sense of ownership and pride. It would have made him and Hannah bond better working on a mutual task. When he asked her to make coffee and she said "get it yourself" I'd have said "I am asking you, not telling, and only because Iwant to be tackling this problem here. I'll be sure to do it next time, and share in all the menial tasks. ok?"
The Legacy of Chains villian group seemed patheticly ineffective, disorganized, and ultimately pointless. In fact, it seems to be the "Superman disease". LB pops up and apparently stops all conventional crime (though we never see most of that, nor the effect it must have had on courts and prisons), and "POOF" supervillians suddenly pop out of nowhere. What is the explanation? Anyway, the LOC villians mostly just stood around. How he couldn't have just zapped the ex-cop and the little girl immediately, not to mention the redhead, is beyond me. 3 down in 3 seconds, move on to the ones with powers. This move would make sense as it would reduce distractions, and then take out the girl with robot hands. Just shooting her hands, fusing all the metal or melting it renders her less than useless. Then revealing his strategy as he tackles the rest: I'll be sure to fly high so ana can't reach me, keep the fire demon between me and power glove, till I figure a way to take him out, then do a flying charge on power glove, leaving ana, whom i've already beaten before. The scene where he created new energy hands for the pianist was pretty
good, though it seems like it wouldn't necessarily work, how could he possibly anticipate what finger and what key she wanted to press next?. If he could create solid light hands and link them to her nervous system, that would work, but that is an incredibly complex extension of his powers as presented so far. (as a side note, hand prosthetics have come an amazingly long way. It is now possible to have a "bionic hand", but I doubt that one could play a piano with it yet.)
I would have expected at least somewhat varied response to his plea for them to stop. a longer dialog exploring each of their reasons to continue, would have helped here. It also seemed that he missed stating the obvious: "give the system a chance, then if it wasn't successful or satisfactory, you can try to take him out, even though I'd still have to try to stop you. think how awful prison really is. If we don't give the system a chance, then we might as well just do ANYTHING we want and disregard the law completely".
I would cast my vote for a complete redo of the earlier issues. I have seen other online comics that did this, and it hasn't hurt. This is a big advantage of online comics, you aren't stuck with it, go back and rewrite the whole darn thing if you feel up to it. It might give you a better idea of where to go next when u get caught back up to the "present". Do you know how many writers/artists would love to have the opportunity to go back and rewrite something? Picasso was often caught reworking pieces he had hanging in museums!
PS: I saw somewhere where you say you tend to let the story go where it wants, no pre-determined plot ending. I would recommend plotting out a story beforehand, perhaps in some detail. This gives you a blueprint to follow. I used to write like you and let the story go where it wanted, but often I lose it or it goes where I can't see how to continue it. Plotting/planning avoids this. It also lets you see where some part of the story might be weak and needs reworking.
Re: What do you think of the Comic?
Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 1:37 am
I really dislike the earlier story lines, due to the poor artwork, and the rather clunky dialogue (as well as the fact that I seriously disagree with your' views on pacifism). However, from about issue 8, the entire comic becomes considerably better, both in terms of art work, and writing, and it's clear that you have learned from your previous failings. I commend you for managing to improve your work so much.