Oh my God! I can't believe you guys are finally doing it. I know you must hear this all the time, but... I'm, like, your biggest fan. Seriously - I've been following nocona ever since the early script leaked out from Troma Video when Hal Warren
was supposed to be the director. But then, like, I have the article from Variety when Jeanette Kahn had bought the rights to make a line of nasal spray products with the brand, and she ended up trading it with the Uzbekistan mob for fifteen days of schedules from George Clooney's PDA. Remember when they went on to open the line of Nocona Love Hotels? I went all over Eastern Europe to try to find one and steal the towels.
And then! OMIGOD! When the mob boss' daughter was kidnapped by the giant squid Othmagox who took nocona to an estuary in Brazil, I never thought I'd see it again! But it was found later in the basement of Ted Kaczynski's mom's house and sold at a yard sale for fifteen cents and a packet of Smarties, and I so wished I had been there. For a brief moment, anyone could have had nocona!
But I was so psyched when I heard you had acquired the rights again! Dare I ask what you had to do to get them back?
Your Biggest Fan
And I'd Totally Do You