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Okay now since I can't draw for crap I like to extend my artistic nature to novels and fan-fiction and I would like some feedback from dedicated Hellsing fans like yourselves

Hmm... to start with, on the very basic level, grammar and spelling need to be looked over a couple of times, there's some odd capitalisation, slightly badly worded sentences and some odd spellings ("I wander why Sir Integra wanted to see me?" for example... ) The layout of the story is a bit of a mishmash, with glaring chunks of character description laid out in blocks, specifically James' initial description and Walter's lengthy exposition section. The idea of a dhampir mercenary is a bit on the, well, adding new characters with random powers and connections to the past of other characters in a fanfic may cause many to think 'insert character' or 'marty stu', but there's not enough to go on for that. It's certainly not a terrible fanfiction, though it could probably do with some improvement.

Ooh, I'm going to post my random hellsing-related story too! It doesn't involve the main characters, but is set during the manga storyline.

Hellsing: Night fliers

Prelude

He knew it was a bad idea to have taken the shortcut through the back alleys, but one really couldn’t have expected to end up in this situation.

Richard stepped cautiously into the flickering fluorescent light outside the bar, watching the two thugs as they looked back at him, eyes seeming to glow in the faint illumination. One hefted a wicked-looking knife, dripping black with blood and Richard suddenly wished he hadn’t left his pistol on base. While it was standard policy not to carry around firearms when trying to get drunk off duty in civvies, he felt soberly naked without it at the moment.

“Walk away, you don’t want to get involved in this.” The one with the knife pointed it at him, and he agreed. Two on one with weapons against fists was not good odds, and there wasn’t any point in risking his life over this. Get out, and call in the coppers, it’s what they’re there for.
”Oh? I think he’s plenty involved… Come now, this one was such simple prey, do we want to let any witnesses go to waste?” The other bared his teeth, elongated canines glistening in the darkness… what kind of freaks were these? He tensed to run…

The woman, up until now recumbent against the wall, stirred slightly, her head lifting forwards in a struggle to get up. She was still alive.
Richard tripped over backwards on a loose chunk of timber. The two muggers advanced, smiling- and then one was reeling back, the flung piece of wood careening off his head and the other, swearing and lunging forwards, was twisted face-first into the wall with a lucky grab and swing. Struggling upwards, Richard hefted the woman up, hoping very dearly that she wasn’t as badly injured as she looked, and staggered towards the alley mouth. If they could just get onto the street before they recovered- A snarl behind him and a sharp pain in his leg told him of his blunder, and as he staggered and fell again he knew it was going to end in death.

There was a faint sound, a near whisper of something whipping through the air, and a sigh that ended in a sibilant hiss. A few seconds after waiting for a knife in the back, Richard turned, looking for the assailants. They were gone, just the knife left on the floor telling of their presence. He stared, half afraid they would reappear just as swiftly, half wondering how they could have escaped so silently – why would they escape? A slight cough from the woman brought him back to reality, and he checked her wounds. She was surprisingly small, face haggard and dark hair ill-looked after. In the moonlight and electric glare she seemed unnaturally pale, and blood covered the front of her jacket, the stab wound clearly visible low on her chest. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the blood flow had nearly stopped, and laid her down gently. It must have barely missed her heart, he thought. Still, she’s in critical condition; the way I’ve been hauling her around and these wounds means she’s likely to go into shock.
“Hey, can you hear me? I’m going to call an ambulance, so stay awake, can you?” He reached for his mobile.

Her eyes flickered open, and she grabbed his arm with surprising strength.
”No ambulance. Please? They’ll find me.” Her eyes were red – not bloodshot, but darkly crimson – and she stared at him with urgency in her eyes.
“You’ll die without medical attention, don’t be crazy-”
“Just- just get me someplace safe. Where I can rest.” Her eyelids fell again, and she wilted against him. Richard swore to himself and thought hard. No hospital? Without a doctor, she’d barely have a chance to survive, and she wanted to be hidden away? There was no way he’d let her die because she was afraid.

Then again, the airbase was about five minutes walk away, and an ambulance would take over half an hour to arrive…
”All right,” Richard told the unconscious woman. “You’ll get your safe place. I just hope you don’t die on the way there.” After putting her arm around his shoulders and tucking away the strange metallic cable from beneath her jacket back into her sleeve, he lifted her up, and they started out of the alleyway.

Reaver225 wrote:Hmm... to start with, on the very basic level, grammar and spelling need to be looked over a couple of times, there's some odd capitalisation, slightly badly worded sentences and some odd spellings ("I wander why Sir Integra wanted to see me?" for example... ) The layout of the story is a bit of a mishmash, with glaring chunks of character description laid out in blocks, specifically James' initial description and Walter's lengthy exposition section. The idea of a dhampir mercenary is a bit on the, well, adding new characters with random powers and connections to the past of other characters in a fanfic may cause many to think 'insert character' or 'marty stu', but there's not enough to go on for that. It's certainly not a terrible fanfiction, though it could probably do with some improvement.

Well I'm new at this sort of thing just something I wanted to do. Anyways thank you for your input. I'll keep your ideas in mind when I start chapter two

Reaver225 wrote:Ooh, I'm going to post my random hellsing-related story too! It doesn't involve the main characters, but is set during the manga storyline.

Make yer own topic. In fact, why don't we make a fanfictions topic.