How to Piss Off Hellsing Characters

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How to Piss Off Hellsing Characters

Postby Brynnie-chan on Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:38 pm

I thought this idea up a couple weeks ago, when I was chatting with my little brother in the kitchen. So far, though, I can only think of one really good one. I wanted to see if you guys can come up with any more.

Here's mine:

Drink a glass of generic Stop-n-Shop grape juice in front of Seras, really, really, s-l-o-w-l-y. Act like you're relishing every sip. For added effect, stick your canine teeth in the glass.

(Note: In the proper light, Stop-n-Shop grape juice looks red. Hence, the joke.)
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Postby Collyer-san on Mon Nov 26, 2007 3:32 am

This one Might Get you Killed, But...

Claim to Hate all Protestants in front of Integra. Make a Song, Just to make it Worse, if you want.
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Postby Mrrout on Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:25 am

call Integra "my little girl", and pat her head XD
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Postby Chaos Priest on Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:43 am

Call Seras "my girl" and pat her, um, elsewhere...
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Postby Horselover_Frost on Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:21 am

To Alucard: Hey nice coat and guns! Going to a devil may cry convention?
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Postby Gregor on Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:33 pm

To Heinkel: ask her which nationality she belongs to (she's austrian if I'm right) and then associate Austria with all the cliches from the "Sound of Music"-Musical (evary Austrian - including me, and Heinkel i think - would then be pissed off and/or pretend to be australian)

That probably works also on some of the Millenium-Nazis. (I'don't exactly know where the major, Rip, and so on come from but there's a little chance that one of them is from Austria.)
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Postby Horselover_Frost on Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:44 pm

How about singing "Give Peace a Chance" to the Major? Or comparing Doc's shirt to Brittany Spears?

I can't think of any for Schroe. I'm pretty sure it would be near impossible to get him upset, much less angry.
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Postby Brynnie-chan on Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:12 pm

Horselover_Frost wrote:How about singing "Give Peace a Chance" to the Major?


Or "War" by Edwin Starr. :lol:

Here's a few:

Start singing all of Samiel's lines from Der Freischütz whenever Rip van Winkle's around. (Or just keep making Headless Horseman jokes. Either way, she'll kill you.)

Tell Alucard his hat looks stupid. (I feel ashamed even typing that...)

Have a gay pride parade right outside the Vatican. Or Iscariot's base. Hell, this might work for Millenium, too.
I got the way and means to New Orleans
I'm goin' down by the river where it's warm and green
I'm gonna have a drink, then walk around
I got a lot to think about
Oh yeah...
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Postby Reaver225 on Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:37 am

Wipe out all the freaks in the countryside using the normal army (judicious airforce help needed) and 'just happen' to mention it to Integra. Couple it with a budget cutback for Hellsing.
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Postby Frey on Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:34 am

Driving blessed silver stakes into Zorin Blitz while she is bonded against a wall with wild roses around her and telling her that she is an "bleeping" ugly freak "bleep" and that Millennium does not need a reckless loud-mouth "bleep" like her and that she deserves to be burned by the chip inside her.

Giving Maxwell a severe beating (particulary to his face) and telling him that he is no Christian but just a power hungry dehumanizing bastard and that he deserves to be excommunicated by the Pope.
Last edited by Frey on Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Xuanwu on Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:50 pm

Collyer-san wrote:This one Might Get you Killed, But...

Claim to Hate all Protestants in front of Integra. Make a Song, Just to make it Worse, if you want.

Singing "Every Sperm is Sacred" in front of Integra would probably work, too.

"Spay and neuter your pet" posters would work on Alucard. In fact, I bet Alucard hates Bob Barker.
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Postby Reaver225 on Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:21 pm

I don't think Integra would be that annoyed by the sacred sperm song - it's Monty Python! Also, it's satire SUPPOSED to make fun of silly Catholics.
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Re: How to Piss Off Hellsing Characters

Postby Shadowfax272 on Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:24 pm

Brynnie-chan wrote:I thought this idea up a couple weeks ago, when I was chatting with my little brother in the kitchen. So far, though, I can only think of one really good one. I wanted to see if you guys can come up with any more.

Here's mine:

Drink a glass of generic Stop-n-Shop grape juice in front of Seras, really, really, s-l-o-w-l-y. Act like you're relishing every sip. For added effect, stick your canine teeth in the glass.

(Note: In the proper light, Stop-n-Shop grape juice looks red. Hence, the joke.)

What about Kool-Aid?
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Re: How to Piss Off Hellsing Characters

Postby Brynnie-chan on Wed Nov 28, 2007 6:43 pm

shadowfax272 wrote:
Brynnie-chan wrote:I thought this idea up a couple weeks ago, when I was chatting with my little brother in the kitchen. So far, though, I can only think of one really good one. I wanted to see if you guys can come up with any more.

Here's mine:

Drink a glass of generic Stop-n-Shop grape juice in front of Seras, really, really, s-l-o-w-l-y. Act like you're relishing every sip. For added effect, stick your canine teeth in the glass.

(Note: In the proper light, Stop-n-Shop grape juice looks red. Hence, the joke.)

What about Kool-Aid?


Hmm. I wouldn't know seeing as I haven't drank Kool-Aid since it stopped coming in plastic bottles with silly faces. Or was that something else?
I got the way and means to New Orleans
I'm goin' down by the river where it's warm and green
I'm gonna have a drink, then walk around
I got a lot to think about
Oh yeah...
-Bloodletting, Concrete Blonde
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Postby Shadowfax272 on Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:52 am

They don't sell it here, but apparently it's red. :P
Jetzt auf! In Bergen und Klüften
Tobt morgen der freudige Krieg!

Das Wild in Fluren und Triften,
Der Aar in Wolken und Lüften
Ist unser, und unser der Sieg!
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Postby Atticus_blackwolf on Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:28 am

cool aid makes good popicles. .......mmmm blood pops
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Postby Brynnie-chan on Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:22 pm

March around outside Anderson's window with a sign that says "Dan Brown is God."
I got the way and means to New Orleans
I'm goin' down by the river where it's warm and green
I'm gonna have a drink, then walk around
I got a lot to think about
Oh yeah...
-Bloodletting, Concrete Blonde
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Postby Horselover_Frost on Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:42 am

Wear a flying spaghetti monster or invisible pink unicorn t-shirt near any Iscariot member.
...and in the end a comet collided with the planet.
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Postby LordDeraj on Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:16 pm

Say Rip van's flat
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Postby Chaos Priest on Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:31 pm

LordDeraj wrote:Say Rip van's flat

Referring to her chest, her singing, or both?

I do kinda wonder which one she'd assume at first.
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