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Postby Xuanwu on Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:24 pm

Mastercard - Designer goggles? $50. Silver bullets? $12 per ounce. Twin custom guns? $3000. Hunting ghouls with a blood moon in the sky? Priceless.
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Postby RawSteelUT on Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:39 pm

Xuanwu wrote:Mastercard - Designer goggles? $50. Silver bullets? $12 per ounce. Twin custom guns? $3000. Hunting ghouls with a blood moon in the sky? Priceless.


Oh that's just corny as all hell... 8-)

Pikacard - Small, cute, eight-eyed Pokemon that manages to be absolutely adorable, even while slaughtering its' enemies and frying little girls' bicycles. Goes gaga for blood poffins.
"You got nine lives? Well I got ten shots."
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Postby Vulpeslibertas on Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:05 pm

Did we get Gilligan-card yet?
with Alucard, and Seras too, Walter and his strings. The Wild Geese, Integra and Pip Vernedett, here on Gilligan-card's Isle.

Kill Alucard - Uma Thurman as Alexander Anderson, David Carradine as Alucard. Oren Integra and the Crazy 88 Geese have a showdown in the House of Blood and Honor.

Vampire Trek -
These are the voyages of the starhip Hellsing, it's five year mission to search out and destroy new un-life and new vampire machinations... to boldly go on a mission from God! Featuring Captain Integra T. Kirk, Dr. Walter, Ensign Seras Checkoff, and... Mr. Alucard and his Vulcan Death Bite.

Alexcard -
Alucard's favorite gameshow - Jepardy. Alexcard Trebeck tells the contestants to "Hurry" as they try to answer questions. 1st Contestant: A village priest!
Question: "Hellsing Agents for 100: This trashman for the secret Hellsing agency is about to kill you."
Priest: "Just who do you think you are?"
Alexcard: "Sorry, but your answer must be in the form of a question!"
Priest: "That was a question! What? Are you listening to me?"
*Alexcard eats 1st Contestant*

2nd Contestants: Some punk and his girlfriend
Question: "Weapons for 300: This technque of fighting is used by Alucard when he runs out of bullets."
Punk: "What?! Who are you?"
Alexcard: "Sorry, the correct answer is 'What is the Hand of Death'?"
*Alexcard demonstrates Hand of Death*

3rd Contestants: The Valentine Brothers!
Question: "Dying for 500: This is the fate of overconfidant vampires who attack the Hellsing House."
Jan: "****, I don't ******* know, Bro. Like, you gotta ******* clue?"
Luke: "Shut up, I told you to be quiet while I'm answering trivia questions."
Alexcard: "Sorry, times up! The correct answer is 'What is Dog Food and Barbeque'?"
*3rd Contestants become dog food and barbeque*
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Postby Xuanwu on Mon Jul 02, 2007 11:20 pm

Sean Connery would so toally PWN Alexcard at that game. "I need to ask you...about the Penis Mightier." :lol:
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Postby Vulpeslibertas on Mon Jul 02, 2007 11:36 pm

Connery: "I'll take the penis mightier for 500"
AlexCard: "That's a Hentai categorry, sorry."

*Kohta Hirano is so exited about the Hentai category being mentioned that he transforms into a Vanna White/Bob Barker Gundam and flys into the television.*

Alexcard: (Ignoring Hirano) "I'm sorry, Connery, but you lose."
*Alexcard bites Sean Connery; drinks his blood*
Connerycard: "I'll take the penis mightier for 500"
Alexcard: "Excellent choice, that's a Hentai category."
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Postby Frey on Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:21 am

vulpeslibertas wrote:Alexcard -
Alucard's favorite gameshow - Jepardy. Alexcard Trebeck tells the contestants to "Hurry" as they try to answer questions. 1st Contestant: A village priest!
Question: "Hellsing Agents for 100: This trashman for the secret Hellsing agency is about to kill you."
Priest: "Just who do you think you are?"
Alexcard: "Sorry, but your answer must be in the form of a question!"
Priest: "That was a question! What? Are you listening to me?"
*Alexcard eat's 1st Contestant*

2nd Contestants: Some punk and his girlfriend
Question: "Weapons for 300: This technque of fighting is used by Alucard when he runs out of bullets."
Punk: "What?! Who are you?"
Alexcard: "Sorry, the correct answer is 'What is the Hand of Death'?"
*Alexcard demonstrates Hand of Death*

3rd Contestants: The Valentine Brothers!
Question: "Dying for 500: This is the fate of overconfidant vampires who attack the Hellsing House."
Jan: "****, I don't ******* know, Bro. Like, you gotta ******* clue?"
Luke: "Shut up, I told you to be quiet while I'm answering trivia questions."
Alexcard: "Sorry, times up! The correct answer is 'What is Dog Food and Barbeque'?"
*3rd Contestants become dog food and barbeque*
That was excellent.
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Postby Alonelyvalor on Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:56 pm

Smith-Card: Donned from watching the Matrix too many times, he dresses in a suit and dark sunglasses. Has the tendecy to stalk Alex and say in a monotone voice "Mr.Anderson..surprised to see me?". Also has the ability to clone himself, resulting in epic battles with slow motion effects.

Oasis-Card: He's slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannon ball, you better wipe that blood away now from your eyes.(Corny yes, entertaing? At least to me.) Formed from listening to too many Oasis songs from a nearby radio, genrally tends to warp the lyrics and has come up with such songs as "WonderWalter", "Stop Tearing My Heart Out" and "What's the Story? Your Quite Gory".
"..This does not bode well.."

"..What put that idea into your head..when he started growing fangs..or when he started to randomly devour townspeople?"
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Postby Xuanwu on Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:55 pm

Yacard Smirnoff: Happens whenever Alucard drinks blood laced with vodka (a genuine Bloody Mary).

"In Soviet Vatican, bayonets wield you!"

"England, what a country!"

Integra tends to end his routines by putting a bullet in his head.
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Postby Atticus_blackwolf on Wed Jul 04, 2007 4:40 am

Xuanwu wrote:"In Soviet Vatican, bayonets wield you!"


very quote worthy.....^_^
An apple a day will keep anyone away, If you throw it hard enough.
- Stephen Colbert
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Postby WarpObscura on Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:14 am

Athos wrote:Dalukard: Mobile metal trashcan equipped with a camera eyestock, toilet plunger arm, and raygun. 'Exterminate!'


CyberCard: Alucard swaps his clothing out for silver-coloured versions, while his eyes turn all black and his mouth emits blue light. Speaks with wrong enunciation. He warns enemy vampires that "we of Hellsing are Vampire.2. Upgrading is compulsory. Incompatible elements will perish under maximum deletion."

Sorry, the old-skool Cybermen never really stuck on me.

RawSteelUT wrote:
Xuanwu wrote:Mastercard - Designer goggles? $50. Silver bullets? $12 per ounce. Twin custom guns? $3000. Hunting ghouls with a blood moon in the sky? Priceless.


Oh that's just corny as all hell... 8-)


WarpObscura wrote:
mrrout wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObwWPwaMLE0


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I am usually referred to as the Master. Card.


Integra's always had suppressed shopaholic instincts. When the stress gets to her one day after an outbreak of store assistant vampires, she gives in. MasterCard uses his hypnotism to get the best bargains and has a... dare we say inhumanly? Beastly? Fiendishly? Freakishly? Monstrously? ... high credit maximum.

This was supposed to be based on the Delgado version of the Master, but I decided to go with Alucard's long messy hair rather than the Master's hairstyle. I hope no fellow Who fans mind.


alonelyvalor wrote:Smith-Card: Donned from watching the Matrix too many times, he dresses in a suit and dark sunglasses. Has the tendecy to stalk Alex and say in a monotone voice "Mr.Anderson..surprised to see me?". Also has the ability to clone himself, resulting in epic battles with slow motion effects.


Nice. :D
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Postby Xuanwu on Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:03 pm

atticus_blackwolf wrote:
Xuanwu wrote:"In Soviet Vatican, bayonets wield you!"


very quote worthy.....^_^

I have another:

"In Soviet Vatican, Pope mobiles you!"
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Postby Okami_Amarasu on Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:51 am

Hmm. I thought of one, but it has probably already been done.

Shmexycard - Oh wait, he already IS sexy!
Bravely rode Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot..
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Postby WarpObscura on Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:18 pm

DoctorCard, the Tenth

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Two costumes of the Tenth DoctorCard.

The Ninth DoctorCard adopted the appearance of the Tenth after regenerating due to cellular damage caused by absorbing the energies of the Flowers of Perun. His regeneration soon took its toll on him despite initial stability and he spent most of Christmas comatose until someone poured scalding tea into his mouth, after which he proceeded to defeat the Weird Sisters with juice from a bunch of satsumae, delivered through capsules fired from the Jackal.
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Postby Xuanwu on Fri Jul 06, 2007 10:21 pm

Spicecard - Alucard's secret shame! In truth, he doesn't like classical music. Late at night, where none can hear him, he enjoys dancing to the first two "Spice Girls" albums and does so as Girlycard dressed alternatively as Posh, Ginger, and Scary. He calls himself "Vampire Spice," of course.

Grimlocard:

It is the year 2005. The valiant Hellsingbots, lead by the heroic Integral Prime, battle the treacherous Millennicrons, who follow the maniacal Majortron. Fighting by Integral's side is the mighty Grimlocard, leader of the Draculbots (membership: Serag).

Grimlocard was initially reluctant to follow Integral, but she earned his respect through her strength of character and leadership. So while physically superior, Grimlocard will follow her orders without hesitation.
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Postby Alonelyvalor on Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:04 pm

RabidCard:A strange and twisted creature of unknown origins, its stark white fur and buldging eyes make it even more terrifying as it screams out its war cry..."DAAHHHHHH!!!." With two white ears poking from Alucard's classic clothing, this form seems to be strangely fascinated with plungers. Apparantly, while he cannot slay paladins, he sure can dance.
"..This does not bode well.."

"..What put that idea into your head..when he started growing fangs..or when he started to randomly devour townspeople?"
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Postby Atticus_blackwolf on Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:22 am

this is really bad......

Pokercard when Alucard gets together with his poker buddies (see hellsing Facts thread) he plays poker...quite good. How do you think hellsing gets the money for all that ammo?

OR...

Pokercard: Alucard as one of the card guards from Alice in Wonderland. That movie scared me as a kid, that and Peterpan.
An apple a day will keep anyone away, If you throw it hard enough.
- Stephen Colbert
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Postby WarpObscura on Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:50 am

Sonata Arcticard - Alucard goes musical, using his familiars to play electric guitar and drums melodically while he sings in Tony Kakko's typically incomprehensible accent.
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Postby Atticus_blackwolf on Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:50 am

this Card is brought you by my Dad. he walks up to me it the library i have hellsing in my hand he says "what's that? He looks like a cowboy..if you just change some things..." So I bring you:

Cowboycard with his partner Seras: the sundown kid. They roam the wild west herding black six eyed cattle and savingthe world from zombie racoons or something
An apple a day will keep anyone away, If you throw it hard enough.
- Stephen Colbert
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Postby FelinaofL2 on Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:02 am

Came up with several -Cards, all Final Fantasy based. xD

Bococard: After drinking a Final Fantasy fanboy's blood and playing through several FFs, he now goes around the mansion as a giant, eight-eyed black chicken-like bird, often shouting 'Kweh!' and 'Wark!'

Sephicard: Wielding a rather long Masumune, he has very, very long hair and way too many fangirls.

Vincecard: Having lost Mina due to Hojo Van Helsing, he was confined to a coffin until Cloudtegra and her merry band discovered him. Is very angsty, quiet, and thinks about Mina quite often.

Auroncard: A 'legendary' guardian of High Summoner Van Helsing, he now fulfills his promise by being Summoner Yuntegra's guardian. Reluctantly bring along Serdis, having promised her father as well. He carries with him a nog bottle of blood mixed with a little sake.
Gundam Wing has hot guys, kick-ass women and mechs. Hellsing has hot guys, kick-ass women and guns. ^_^ Ah, the joys of anime.
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Postby Deuseldorf on Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:57 am

Xuanwu wrote:
Athos wrote:Dr. Strangecard: Replacement for Walter as weapons R&D man. His inventions have a tendency to spiral out of control and destroy large areas. Wheelchair, sunglasses, and a disobedient arm.

And don't forget: when Dr. Strangecard appears, most of the major characters start looking like Peter Sellers.

Clowcard - Bits of Alucard have been turned into magical cards and sent flying into the wilderness. And now he has to dress up in pink frilly dresses and wave a magic wand to capture them all before they cause havoc. (Pink frilly dresses supplied by Walter, of course.)


Pink frilly dresses designed to hide giant hammers? Or possibly just a harkonen cannon?
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