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PostPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 5:43 pm
by Samholy
thanks for the comment ^^
glad to hear you like our comic !

PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:59 am
by Pierre
heya again,

panel 3: "don't turn your back on your destiny" or "don't turn away from your destiny" perhaps even "don't turn back on your destiny" (i'm not native myself, just spent some time in the States)


PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 1:30 pm
by Samholy
thanks for the corections.
updated right away !

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:29 am
by Pierre
mmh, i like where this is going :shucks:

panel 1: "she's getting too close" sounds much more familiar, although i'm not 100% certain you can't use "near" as well.

panel 2: "it's not like she is a shark" the if thing is something you'd use in french and german.

panel 5: "she has such a gorgeous breast" sounds wrong to me. if you wanna use a polite word, replace breast with bosom (singular as well), otherwise go for the very commonly used (and not vulgar) "such gorgeous boobs" (of which i totally agree :D)

it might even be possible to say "she has such gorgeous breast" (that is, breast is singular and plural at the same time). English natives have to help me out on this one.

panel 7: "are you waiting for my permission" or "are you waiting for permission"

panel 9: "there shouldn't be any embarassement between us" also doesn't sound quite right, altough it's totally understandable. perhaps "there should be no holding back between us" or "there shouldn't be any inhibition between us" or "there shouldn't be any feelings of shame between us". i think the last suggestion is the closest to your original meaning.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 12:52 pm
by Samholy
Wow thanks a lot. You made some awesome corretions there !
VERY appreciated ! :lol: :lol: :lol: XD

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:39 pm
by Pierre
sure thing! i read the comic immediately when it's up anyway. :D

oh, still gotta take the "a" in front of "gorgeous" out in panel 5.

see ya.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 2:35 pm
by Samholy
ooops forgot to get the ''a' off... -.-;

thx for mentioning :shifty: