I must come forward reluctantly as a nominee for this noble position. I know I have said in the past that I never wanted to be president but I found myself in the position where various shadowy nebulous entities begged, no - required my nomination. As the few have asked, I must go back very unenthusiastically upon my word and run as a candidate in this hallowed tradition as the people have spoken.
My policies which have been decided for me are:
1. The right for anyone to punish any other member with impunity.
2. Cushy jobs for all supporters.
3. A platform of tolerance for lack of updates.
4. A policy of more Jams by the people, for the people.
5. FREE BEER AND FREE CRISPS
6. Any policy anyone else thinks up that is popular but with more bananas and one major party afterwards.
7. To Be Announced When In Office.
I'm not worried because I have this handy book to tell me what to do...
Bob may be the current president but he is in trouble:
So Vote for the Progressive Party!
The Party of Tomorrow!