Semi-Finals - Battle 1: Audiobabe (sasjhwa) vs. Serge XIII
Audiobabe is our beautiful and well voiced magical sonic mage, and she battles the hardened technical master of the swords of pain, Serge. Neither is weak to the other.
1 - Audiobabe claps her hands together, sending a compression wave at Serge! Serge drops and covers his ears, and the wave passes harmlessly through him, ruffling his shirt. He then runs and takes a swipe at Audiobabe, but she quickly jets into the air!
2 - Serge throws one of his two swords up towards Audiobabe, and with a surprisingly accurate hit, the sword shoves through Audiobabe's skull (recall, doing no physical damage), and the hilt smashes into her nose, breaking it! (10 damage)
3) Blinded and in pain, Audiobabe pulls the sword from her body and it falls to the ground, where Serge quickly collects it. She pulses at the ground, and the sands vibrate! Serge drops flat and avoids the loud, powerful ping.
4) Audiobabe holds her hands over her bloodied face. She fires off a second, different ping, which radiates out, reflecting off the field of combat and returning to her. Face still covered, she launches a deadly accurate attack, a single, deep note that heats the air as it moves towards Serge, hitting him for (12 damage)
5 - Serge bolts for the next sand dune, while Audiobabe fires off another ping.
6 - Audiobabe launches a second attack, just missing Serge, but obliterating part of the stands near where he was standing, turning Linkara into a messy, bloody jellylike consistency.
7) Serge strikes his two blades together and slices them past each other, creating a sharp, metallic noise and a burst of energy that moves towards Audiobabe! She dodges by launching straight up. Serge runs to another dune and digs in.
8 - Audiobabe pings the landscape again, but seems confused. She lands near Serge. Serge attacks her from behind, shoving one blade straight through her back! The blade lights up and Audiobabe screams as her insides burn! (11 damage) She reaches behind herself and grabs Serge's leg with her left hand and fires a massive ultrasonic burst! Serge's leg explodes like a hotdog stuffed with firecrackers! (10 damage)
9 - Serge drops to one knee and the sword pulls out of Audiobabe's back. She whips around and wraps her arms around his head, pulling his face to her chest. There's a barely audible, *whooomp* noise, as if from a subwoofer. Audiobabe drops Serge. (11 damage)
Winner: Audiobabe! Audiobabe glows, gains a stat point, and heals.
Loser: Serge. An Ogre sushi master comes onto the field, rolling a wooden table. He chops up Serge and turns him into a wide variety of delectable sushi treats. A dozen more ogres come out and gobble the sushi down, then all get physically ill, vomiting up bits of Serge, that reform into a healed Serge. Horribly disgusted, Serge flees the arena floor (as do many audience members, to the glee of the vomit bag vendor).
Crossfire: "Thank you! That explains it very nicely, and in a language that someone other than a physicist can understand..."
Denial is not falsification. You can't avoid a fact just because you don't like it.
"Data" is not the plural of "anecdote"