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Postby The Neko on Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:19 am

XXXX by McDuffies

Reading through XXXX is like traveling through the mind of a really disturbed man/cat/whatever, which is why I loved it. Starting off with an unsatisfied Jane (borrowed from Disney's Tarzan of course) being kidnapped by an ape with unsavory motives, the sexual innuendo and movie references never stop. The fact that these are all Disney characters from children's movies being turned into sexual people just adds a degree of creepiness to the author's already screwy public image. Since most Disney movies don't cover the background of any characters, the author took it upon himself to create interesting pasts behind some of the side characters. The best example of this was Jane's father, whose past was illustrated in a series of stained-glass windows (an homage to "Beauty and the Beast") that leads me to wonder "who would make windows of THAT?", but that's just another side note to the humor of it all.

While the plot and the characters themselves are funny, the side-jokes are what truly are hilarious. References to the idiocy of hentai anime, bad acting in movies, and why Titanic didn't deserve 11 oscars, are all par for the course. However, the fact that the characters are self-aware and aware of pop-culture outside of their own films is a little disturbing to the reality the author is trying to create, but then again the reality he's created is so off the wall that anything is possible. Although having "the author" being in there really raises some questions and problems (like with any comic that has an author in the series itself).

As you get further along in the series, some things become predictable. When Jane travels to "The Lion King" the first think that came to mind was "oh god, there's going to be bestiality references." However, even though the situations can be seen from miles away, the way they're handled is so unique and so strange that you hardly notice. I never would have thought of how she didn't get raped by the ape, nor to discuss the sexuality of Timon and Pumba. The thought and imagination that contorts these harmless children's movies is both fascinating and a little scary. However, the discussion on the Greek gods wasn't so much disturbing as really honest and truthful.

The only real problem storyline so far was the re-enactment of Monty Python sketches. That fell flat because there was nothing new being done with it at all, it was merely a repeat of a classic script. The author took the time to characterize the 4 main heroines with interesting quirks and personalities, but then let it all go to pot with that section because none of them got to shine there.

The new premise of the series, each one trying to become an adult actress has gone a little bit astray from what I enjoy so much about the series: the parodies and twisted nightmares of Disney films. I'd also like to see Jane's father come back, because he was so well characterized but then quickly abandoned.

The art ranges from very good to a little too lazy-looking. Pocahantas and Mulan can only really be differentiated by their clothes and bust lines. In the scene with The Lion King, adding tears to Jane's eyes took away from the comedic effect, and would have better been left as a confused/frightened expression. The simple design of the self-inserted author is interesting, but the fact that he doesn't have clothes is a little creepy. The art really needs to be a little more consistent, because sometimes it is a little difficult to tell what exactly is background and characters sometimes.

There are quite a few grammar mistakes throughout the work, I think some proofreading would really help keep that in check.

With all the movie references, you really know this is a comic by McDuffies. MOVIE BUFF!

Overall, the jokes and the disturbing material makes this a very funny read. I just hope this coming doesn't fall into hiatus oblivion. But still... it's really fuckin' disturbing. DEAR LORD.
Last edited by The Neko on Tue Jun 28, 2005 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby McDuffies on Tue Jun 28, 2005 4:41 am

Risky wrote:Which character was the mystery added character, if I might ask?

Oh, it's the feeling I had all along. Characters just kept appearing (or being mentioned). They might have briefly appeared or been mentioned before, but didn't manage to catch the eye.
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Postby Risky on Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:20 am

"go for it"

As per the site, 'This site is run by a couple of crazy kids with a deep hatred for the world at large.' Yes, this is a work of hate, probably why there isn't a single sympathetic character in the entire comic. I don't really like these people... but also they promote apathy to a strong degree... so really it doesn't even matter if bad things happen to them. Or their enemies. To sum it up: meh.

Art: The rendering is perfect for a webcomic. There are no obvious compression issues, backgrounds are used when necessary and the colors are harmonius. It's easy to read on all monitors. The size is good. The four+ panel format fits the style well.

That style is very undramatic... this is not a dramatic comic. The camera occassionally moves 90 degrees, but there are no other angles. It's sketch comedy, you as the audience aren't going to be moving much. It makes liberal use of a kind of "cut-paste" mentality. Even when nothing is cut-pasted or only the background or some props are, you still feel like you are seeing the exact same thing as you saw in the last panel a lot of the time. This really drags on the pacing of the comic and is the result of some 3-panel jokes being stretched to fit 4 panels or so.

Story: Some people that know each other occassionally interact, interspersed with violent mass-media one-shots (like the murder-suicide of the bananas in pajamas). I kind of got some idea of who was who, hampered by the fact that apparently there are twins with similar names. You get the idea that these people have problems, dreams, desires, purposes, even histories, but they aren't presented in any cohesive way, so in general you just get the idea that everyone hates everything, or loves something obscenely and is thus stupid.

This isn't a story comic, though, and none of the humor is character driven. It is driven by biological gross-out humor, hatred, bigotry, and violence. To be fair we are talking about bigotry against unprotected groups... anime fetishists are hardly an oppressed minority. This fact doesn't make the comics in question funny, though. It's possible we are meant to laugh at the stupidity of the main characters. Why would someone so apathetic put so much effort into taunting others? It's not really clear why in the comic, and it doesn't matter. I got the jokes, I just didn't think they were funny. Poop and blood.

Site: There's a broken image in the archives, a 'rightspacer.gif' is missing a slash in its src. Most of the site design is very well done. The colors are great, as are the colors in the comic itself. The links all "work", though there are a couple empty pages. The extra pages are well divided and provide a lot of information, and are happily not lumped into one overwhelming FAQ page. The archive (a typicial "big calendar") could benefit by being incorporated into the site design better, perhaps by using the big css calendar tag. The broken links are there... the Ws for weekly.

Other: The site uses rants and articles, but they have been very sporadically updated over the course of the year. They aren't related directly to the comic. It is unclear why there are "rants" and "reviews" when most of the rants are reviews, except that perhaps the rants are all bad reviews. I'm all for extra content on a site, even rants, because a lot of comics grow from that sort of thing.... the rants seem similar in many ways to the comic (hate hate poop vagina hate), so they "fit in"... but without the well designed art, they kind of suck.

Overall: This is a remake comic? There was an earlier version? Make sure you aren't relying on things from the earlier version, such as past characterization or defining moments. The current characters are undefined (aside from the character page, which seems confused about them as well) and the humor is at a grade school level. Even the occassional forays above that level (such as the comic on "Jingoism") seem to get most of their oomph from rude gestures. As a one shot, occassional thing (in other words, how current readers see it), it's kind of funny and different and fits a certain perspective, but as a whole, it is no better and is oftentimes worse than the things it mocks.

I think this comic can go a long way simply on the clean lines, the pretty site, and the fact that a lot of people are also haters. Personally I wish it was funnier, more interesting, and spent less time suckling on the teat of low, bloodspray, poopstain humor. The potential is there. Go for it.

B+
Last edited by Risky on Tue Jun 28, 2005 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Specterz on Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:31 am

All right, I'll step in the queue for The'Elven. I've been meaning to read that anyways.


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Postby Netpoet on Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:41 am

Gaming Alive

Truth be told, I didn't really like it much at all. So please keep that in mind when you read what I say, because though some people might go for this kind of comic, I wasn't one of them at all.

Story
Given that it's a joke comic, there really wasn't any storyline in and of itself... most of the comics are geared toward individual, quick jokes that I honestly didn't get much of a chuckle from most of the time. However, I'm not a gamer and that might have had a lot to do with it.


Art
There is no artwork to this comic, so I really can't say. It's a cut/paste comic using easily-identifiable game boxes found online, I'd assume, with a few other occasional "characters" thrown in as the joke dictated.


Site
It was functional and easily navigated, so that was a plus. There wasn't anything at all in the Links page, and I don't know if I'd put *ALL* of your news items on the same page like that. I'd recommend maybe no more than five items, then a link to "archived news" or something along those lines.


Overall

Not my taste in comics by any means. However, like sushi, you may have a readership base with some people... Sorry I couldn't help you more.
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Postby Kris X on Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:53 am

I get Tales of the Traveling Gnome! Mine!

Okay. Not so long.

Art: Freakin awesome with a capital F. It draw you in imediatly which is good to have. My only beef is that it appears a little blurry, is that the art style or the formatting/compression? Though honestly you don't need to worry much on that. The only thing that seems to stick out a bit sorely is the lil fairy gal. She seems like an anime character trapped in a realistic world. Might want to work on that a bit.

Sound Effects Dialogue: Please, please don't put comic hero sound styles in a fantasy comic. The brightly colored text doesn't blend too well in my opinion and maybe you could pick more reds instead of greens when the background is more brown? It just looks like you kind of pasted the words over, for example right here: http://ttg.keenspace.com/1-010.html (Otherwise, not all of they stuck out badly and blending was fine).

Dialouge: Good stuff, you can tell there's a writer on staff. ;) The font was very easy too read, maybe a little too small at time for us near-sighted people, but not too difficult. My problem was when the hobgoblin spoke. For some reason I had a lapse in the brain when the page chaned and it was his dialogue. Took me a second to understand his dialect and realize it was him talking, I might just be too tired.

Overall it was a good read so far, and you know it's good when I yell "Noooo" for a character I've only known for two pages. Take note new guys, this is a good comic to understanding how to keep your audiences attention through good writing and art. At no time was I confused about what was actually happening. Well done.

Grade: A-
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Postby TheSuburbanLetdown on Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:56 am

I said I'd never review again, but this one has a small archive and I've already read most of it anyway, so why not?

Chat Rouge is a strange comic about a red cat who has a strange obsession with kitchen appliances that the cat thinks are evil. The premise seems simple enough and it's pretty funny initially, but it runs the possibility of becoms old rather quickly. Personally, I think this comic can go in any number of directions and it's a bit early to tell. It may be beneficial for Chat to leave the house at some point and interact with other characters; possibly another cat? That could be interesting. I would get bored with sitting in the same room all the time, let alone watching a character stay in the same room al the time.

The pseudo French feel is kinda fun, but it can be miscontrued as offensive by some people, so that's something to think about. I couldn't decide on whether it was only Chat that had this faux-french accent, but upon further reading, it seems that it's only Chat that does it, since the other characters have no discernible accents.

The current story line in already getting interesting because of the interaction between other characters, and the introduction of humans. Speaking of humans, it has yet to be made known as to whether people can hear Chat talk, like in Get Fuzzy, or if its more ambiguous like in Garfield. Also, another thing to think about is whether the humans can see Mr. Foot and Happy Bear, or if they are part of Chat's imagination. I kinda want to know where Happy Bear and Mr. Foot came from, but perhaps that is not necessary, as it can raise imaginative possibilities. But I would've like better introductions. This was weird and confusing when I first saw it.

The art is nice looking and has warm, organic feel to it. Right around here the art changes a bit and doesn't have the same feel. It seems as if the art was rushed and it looks a bit bare. After a while it returns to the way it was, which I think has a better feel for the mood.
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on though, like in this strip
http://chatrouge.keenspace.com/d/20050228.html
It took me a while to see that toasters were jumping over a fence. Perhaps more work with perspective can help in this respect, and maybe clean up the hatching a bit. The ground and fence kind of mesh together and more differentiation would be good

The strips are also more or less in the same layout every page, and it fits this strip rather nicely. One drawback is that it may be creatively stifling to try and stick to the same layout every time, so don't be afraid to deviate from it at any time.

In closing, this is a fun strip that has the potential to become pretty good. The art is cool and has a weird aged feel to it, but it needs to be more defined at times. I would be remiss in my duty as a reviewer if I did not say that it can become stale if Chat stays in the kitchen. It's a large world so it'd be fun to see Chat go elsewhere. At the moment, I'd give it a B.
Last edited by TheSuburbanLetdown on Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:37 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Sput on Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:56 am

Story:

The end of things seems to be vvery story driven, but most pages seem to have some sort of quirk or small thing that twists my lips into a smile. Where it only has a few storylines, Evan and Ryan go to a bar, the soap incident, and now the water fight with Maynard and John. There is also an experiment with infinite (or at least larger) canvas, and I really liked it, and would hope we could see more of Ryan's dreams in the same format. Anyway, even though I'm a writer, I have a very hard time with judging storylines. I rather like what you've got going, it's sure as hell not typical.

There are a few spelling errors here and there, but on the whole, everything is understandable. The dialogue is believeable and the characters enjoyable.

Art

The art is fantastic. It starts out iffy in the beginning, and has made a steady incline in quality. I love the furries, awwuu!~ Sometimes the characters seem a bit stiff in their enviornments (well detailed enviornments, i might add- PAL doesn't skimp on backgrounds.), thus making Ryan's dancing scene my favourite in the entire comic.

Site

Clean and simple. Has a mostly white on black siten design that matches well with the comic. The various buttons have all you need, an about, a character page, archives...What more could you want?

Overall...

TEoT earns an A from me. I really wish I had more to say about it, but that's all I can offer at this time. @_@;

((uhh, next person in line can skip over me, really. Since I totally forgot that I put OTC on hiatus and crap. And my archive=tiny. *flails and babbles*))
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Postby RPin on Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:21 pm

This thread is somewhere between a hybrid of hydra and ouroboros.

I would like to queue up for review but it seems like there's quite a few people for it already. Besides, it won't hurt to wait a few days. RIGHT, GUYS?
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Postby McDuffies on Tue Jun 28, 2005 2:45 pm

You people were supposed to wait for Neko. I don't doubt that Neko will deliver a review, but rules are rules.

Pin, are you taking RA's comic? If not, I am.
And I do intend to wait a few days with it.
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Postby RPin on Tue Jun 28, 2005 4:05 pm

I'm going to post a placeholder after the last fucking placeholder gets replaced by a review, and I intend to wait for that to happen.

Anyone who tries to placehold ME gets it.
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Postby Mimo on Tue Jun 28, 2005 4:47 pm

:: Do not review, this is just a message ::

I want to review someone but I haven't the foggiest who is next in line- please someone enlighten me :oops:
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Postby Risky on Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:03 pm

Mimo, do a favor and wait a bit.

btw, bump, reviewed go for it. see above. thanks for the review, specterz.
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Postby Mimo on Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:45 pm

:: Do not review, this is just a message ::

Risky wrote:Mimo, do a favor and wait a bit.

btw, bump, reviewed go for it. see above. thanks for the review, specterz.


I am waiting a bit

I just asked who was next
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Postby Kris X on Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:53 pm

Just responding to Pepper.

Merci beaucoup.

I'll take the words to heart and I am always evolving Chat's intereaction, I guess he just stayed in that one place for developing purposes. Once I claim his character solidly, (Coming up in the next few strips) I'm going to expand the horizons and introduce more characters/settings.

Thanks! :)
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Postby McDuffies on Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:28 am

RPin wrote:I'm going to post a placeholder after the last fucking placeholder gets replaced by a review, and I intend to wait for that to happen.

Anyone who tries to placehold ME gets it.

All recent placeholders have been. The only ones still there are from the beginning of the thread (like placeholder for mcDuffies, muh) so I think that it's ok to continue.
Now you're making a confusion. Are you reviewing TC or not? If yes, then I'll let it slide and mimo reviews you. If not, then I will so mimo reviews me. :-?
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Postby RPin on Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:25 pm

I shall. But I'm at work right now. It will be done tonite or tomorrow morning. So you guys please wait for me. :D
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Postby McDuffies on Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:46 pm

Ok, Mimo, Pin is next if you want (I'll skip a turn or two).
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Postby RPin on Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:41 pm

A review of Operation: TC

Genre: Sci-fi/adventure

My first impressions on OTC: Bam! I follow the link and get surprised by a not very nice "this comic went on idefinite hiatus". Not a good way to impress new readers, I must say. Perhaps just a small note informing the current status of the comic would work.

The comic has not much of an archive so I could do all the reading in one sit. It could be faster if Keenspace wasn't acting a bit wonky tonite.

The art: There are things about it that work and then there are the ones that bug me. I for one like the color pallet used in the first strips. There was some nice shading and balance that I liked. The painted backgrounds did it for me too if only the colors were less exaggerate. While the characters had all this grayish tone that fitted the mood of the first strips, suddenly out of nowhere everything just sort of because psychodelic.

http://operationtc.keenspace.com/d/20050410.html

This here expresses my point. You made some nice uses of color in the first strips, but then you seemed to lose the sense of balance. Knowing how to use colors is more than just using the photoshop picker randomly. The color needs to be a part of your art too. It has to add character to the story you're trying to tell.

http://thejaded.co.uk

I know pointing Ping as a good example of webcomicking is getting tired, but look at how the colors fit the mood of the gritty, shady story she's trying to tell. Likewise:

http://www.countyoursheep.com/

Look at how the colors fit the dreamy theme of this comic perfectly. It's monotonic but never boring, and if Adis used more than one hue the comic would lose much character.

Yes, characters. Here's something else that needs work. Your anatomy looks weird. It's not terrible, but you lack experience in that department.

http://operationtc.keenspace.com/d/20050406.html

This here is nice.

http://operationtc.keenspace.com/d/20050313.html

This on the other hand isn't. Letting aside the anatomy goofs that I spotted, I can't take a hint on what the character is trying to tell us with that pose. And that is a major problem with your art overall. There ins't a link between what your characters say and how they say it, or what they say and how they are doing what they just said for that matter.

But you seemed to be getting a grasp of the different techniques... that is, until you decided to dump it all together! Suddenly your comic went from a honest attempt at getting better to a bunch of quickly scribbled doodles! You stopped using color and taking time drawing backgrounds and suddenly started posting crudely drawn pencil sketches. I don't see why you would do that beyond the guess that suddenly you decided you're not going to devote much time to draw a page.

Don't do that. It's the worst thing you can do for your self-development. Put your best effort on every page even if it means taking months to finish a single update (that's what I'm doing with my comic right now). Okay, you dont have to be as drastic as me, but if you feel you're not giving enough of yourself into this thing you're working on, someday you'll regret you never did it.

The writing

Confusing as hell. So far I could tell that there are these special kinds of soldiers known as beserkers and one of the is recruited for a mission. But everything is such a mish-mash I can't really keep track of what's going on. You seem to have a lot of carefully thought details about the story, but then you throw then at your readers with no further explanation, and they come one after another.

There are no surroundings. I can't tell where the characters are or where are they going. And I can't feel sympathy for any characters either. I can't tell what their emotions are, what motivations they have. It's like they are those cardboard figures acting a plot you created rather than reacting to situations on their own.

The lettering is rushy and confusing as hell. Much like what I felt about your art I feel about your writing too. You seem to be under too much of a rush to finish your pages. The result is that they don't connect well to each other. Even the frames don't follow a logical sequence. Remember, drawing a comic is not just creating pictures and putting text over them. You have to know how to plan the actions of your characters. Place yourself in the shoes of a reader seeing your comic for the first time and ask yourself if you could hold the story a cohesive bunch rather than having to fill blank gaps of story to shake some sense out of it.

You seem like you don't want to spend too much time on your pages. A piece of story you told within a page I would take three to tell. And a five page part of the story you drew would be a whole complete chapter for me. Watch some movies and pay attention to how scenes are stuck together, and what tricks are used to make the dialogue flow.

Don't put too much text on your pages. That bores the eyes of the readers. Your first page is awfully confunsing. I can't understand what's being said, by who and in which order. Take some time planning the speech bubbles so they flow correctly in the direction of the reading (left to right, up-to-down).

Website: I'll refrain from further commenting. It does its job well. Functional, clean, no broken links, etc.

Overall: Just like I said, I felt you were in the right path but then you suddenly decided to trash it altogether. I think you have a developing talent. Invest on it. Don't be rushy to finish your story, you got plenty of time ahead (you're 16, right?). Rather, look for sources to learn. Experiment, find what works for you what doesn't. And above it all, don't give up.

I hope you don't think of me as a douche for writing all this. I'm far from being a perfect artist either. Many of the mistakes I pointed on your work were part of mine one day (and some still are!). If what I'm saying is helpful, I'll be glad. If not, I apologize.

To mimo: I don't want to push you into reading a comic that hasn't updated in months. So if you don't feel like reading my own comic, I shall suggest this one for review:

http://ritascomic.keenspace.com
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Postby Sput on Fri Jul 01, 2005 4:27 pm

Pin: thank you. :3 Everything you said is true, which is why I decided to drop it. Im likely going to be doing all of the black and white pages over, and some of the earlier ones over to make the story clearer and style more consistant. I've picked up a few anatomy books, and I need to get one for perspective [ my biggest personal obstacle ] and backgrounds. You're right. Every page was rushed [ because pf 3x a week lazy grind, just too much for me to handle as an amateur.] You actually gave me a year too much, I turned 15 4 months ago. You've been very very helpful, and I thank you for saying it. All of it. *hugs you* You rock, pin. ;)

[don't review this posty~!]
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