How's your life atm?

[Hungrywolf]

Disorganized professors are the bane of my existence. AND NOW I TRAVEL TO CHICAGO FOR THE WEEKEND.

Hmm quite the coincidence... enjoy your trip.

I'm am tired. This week I've driven so much, I can only tell time by miles per hour... *rimshot*

[Pravus]

Cliffs are a good place to go...

[Hungrywolf]

So lunch was nice today. Went out to celebrate my mom's birthday. While which I got ambushed by sister and mom. With accusations, and questions, and invalidations.

Apparently my communication problems with my family are all my fault and in my head. And that I should be examined by a doctor. I'm not right and I'm sick. No my feelings don't matter, at least only when they care to matter. I suck, they win, I lose. Whatever.

Last time I tag along for free food. :\

[ShannC]

Well, all you can do about such things is to keep your own stuff together, and not play along when the old family hierarchy game gets reinstated. It's pretty easy to start behaving like you always did around family but they'll never fully respect anyone whom they've changed diapers on, either way.

Do you still live at home then?

[Hungrywolf]

Yes I do.

I guess one of things that bugged me was that even though I told them how I felt. How I truly felt about them. They basically threw it back in my face. Shown no understanding. Just upfront denial. I'm sure I might be overacting to an extent on my retelling of the account, so take it with a grain of salt.

I also probably could of done a better job defending myself in that situation, but I just let them landslide over me. I don't know. At a certain point you just get tired of trying to hold up against something, I guess. You're tired of having to prove yourself. You just don't care. Care when they say "that someone thinks you don't like them just because you don't interact with them", my sisters boyfriend for example. I never said I've hated him, but somehow just because I don't actively pursue a relationship with him I'm tagged as the bad guy. Why? He's a nice guy, a hell of a nice guy if he has to deal with a person like my sister. But we're separately different people, I don't hate him. How could they accuse me of that so thoughtlessly.

If I'm the bad guy fine. I just don't care what they think. Let them think it. I'm going to live my life.

[Pravus]

I'm growing a beard...I guess...

[ShannC]

Yes I do.

I guess one of things that bugged me was that even though I told them how I felt. How I truly felt about them. They basically threw it back in my face. Shown no understanding. Just upfront denial. I'm sure I might be overacting to an extent on my retelling of the account, so take it with a grain of salt.

Well, then they can't see things from your point of view, which is not uncommon. Heck, around here we've been stepping on each others toes all the time. Maybe you do the same thing? I know I have, well until I moved out. That's about the time you sort of realise that you don't control what you say in a family, and that you're practically oblivious to how much the recieving end can hurt from your actions. It just doesn't occur to you. How do you think spousal abuse really happen?(Eck, tacky example but apt)

With a bit of distance, such things become more apparent.

I also probably could of done a better job defending myself in that situation, but I just let them landslide over me. I don't know. At a certain point you just get tired of trying to hold up against something, I guess. You're tired of having to prove yourself. You just don't care.

If people take out their frustrations on you, and you're innocent, they're making asses of themselves. That's not how strong and secure people behave. Not at all. Not that you should stop loving people just because they are weaklings at times. It's family. Good with the bad, grain of salt and all that.

Care when they say "that someone thinks you don't like them just because you don't interact with them", my sisters boyfriend for example. I never said I've hated him, but somehow just because I don't actively pursue a relationship with him I'm tagged as the bad guy. Why? He's a nice guy, a hell of a nice guy if he has to deal with a person like my sister. But we're separately different people, I don't hate him. How could they accuse me of that so thoughtlessly.

If I'm the bad guy fine. I just don't care what they think. Let them think it. I'm going to live my life.

Ha ha! What a goddamn no-brainer. That's an A example of a useless argument right there. Tell you what, I'd actually warm up to this guy and let him in on the joke, but that's because I'm a insidious motherfucker at times. Maybe your sister actually wouldn't appreciate it that much if you became better friends either. Because with an outsider present and family appearances up, there's always prime moments to switch the tables.

Basically, you can say things to him you know will annoy the rest of the family, but they can't nag you without exposing their own stupidity.

[Hungrywolf]

Well, then they can't see things from your point of view, which is not uncommon. Heck, around here we've been stepping on each others toes all the time. Maybe you do the same thing? I know I have, well until I moved out. That's about the time you sort of realise that you don't control what you say in a family, and that you're practically oblivious to how much the recieving end can hurt from your actions. It just doesn't occur to you. How do you think spousal abuse really happen?(Eck, tacky example but apt)

With a bit of distance, such things become more apparent.

If stepping on each others toes means being kicked out of the only room in the house, having no privacy, sleeping on a couch, doing countless chores for other people, and driving other people around like some old mule. Then yes I've been stepping on other people's toes. But I guess I don't mind it either being treated in such fashion. It does keep me busy. And for some part I do it out of my own grand generosity.

You know when I moved out, or at least tried to last year, you know how I felt. Free. Free of it all. I felt no concern over how they felt about me leaving. True I felt sad about it, some parts I was depressed. I had lived a long part of my life there. And I would someway miss those people. But there was also a greater feeling. Freedom. Chains lifted and all that. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to go back.

Thinking about it now, does leave me with some remorse as I type this. Coming to the conclusion I just described. It's not the conclusion I want. It saddens me, leaves me a bit empty. It's just a weight I'll have to carry. "You're gonna carry that weight" indeed.

Anyway. I've hogged this discussion long enough.

[Pravus]

I'm getting the tremors again...shit....

[Shadreorn]

I've reentered therapy. Hurrah! First appointment is on Tuesday.

[PortableNuke]

they say "that someone thinks you don't like them just because you don't interact with them", my sisters boyfriend for example. I never said I've hated him, but somehow just because I don't actively pursue a relationship with him I'm tagged as the bad guy.

Haha! My wife does the same thing with the younger of my sisters. My sister really doesn't pursue a relationship with my wife, so my wife thinks my sister hates her. Of course, my wife hasn't made an effort either, so... It's kind of funny until I have to convince my wife my sister does not hate her. :\

[Pravus]

I'm so fucking fucked....

[Shadreorn]

But why?

[Hungrywolf]

I guess I'll early vote tomorrow.

[Tangywolf]

Mmm, glowy.

[Hungrywolf]

Oh and get a lava lamp while you at it. Those things are groovy... or better yet an Electric Buddha!

[Tangywolf]

My friend gave me some purple glowsticks, but she broke them before giving them to me. So they're dead already. Now I can't use them for anything. :<

[Bloodied Fox]

My grandmother and my dog both died today. I suspect God is trying to tell me something.

[Hungrywolf]

My grandmother and my dog both died today. I suspect God is trying to tell me something.

I'm sorry. *hugs*

[Tangywolf]

Uuugh, that's awful. I'm really sorry.