DONE. apologies for weird formatting thing that happened.
Alright - here's my final draft/standard artist letter.
Hello. You work for me now. >:D
Please be aware this script is basically a guideline.
If you see opportunities to make funnier jokes or to
make it better, please do them. I don't want the script
running over by more than two pages, however. I try to
keep things as concise as I possibly can because it
better suits the story and style.
Character designs for non-main characters you can make
up however you like, although it'd probably be better
to have them have a passing resemblance to the actors
in the movie.
Ezekiel Wilkes has only appeared in one storyline so
far - he's the demon schoolboy who gets summoned at the
beginning of The Video. Sortelli designed Uvayah, and
pictures of Uvayah are on the character design thread.
I don't think Sortelli has worked out the colouring
scheme, but I was thinking yellow. Yellow and green.
I've found no books that can give me a specific
reference for colour so I'm just figuring what would
look aesthetically fecked.
There is mansex in this but obviously not SHOWN mansex.
I don't really approve of showing mansex in any form/or
graphic sex so please avoid it. Nakedness however is
All page sizes should be the same as the page sizes of Viger's comics - 500 (or is it 550 across) and between 600 and 750 down. Preferably saved in .png
//Habib, Blackaby and Wolf as posterfolks//
//In Hell's marketing department, Ezekiel's office.
"But I'm just so depressed, Zeke! If I could only speak
to him and explain my situation - I don't feel cut out
for this type of work-" Blackaby is wearing a
suffragette costume. Ezekiel: "Fine, I'll give it a
//Ezekiel on the phone: "Daddy, I've got Johnny
Blackaby here from Plotting & Planning and he wants to
see you." Satan: "Is it urgent?"//
//Ezekiel looks at Blackaby. "From a fashion
perspective, I suppose...//
//Satan, tetchy: "Son, I'm the ruler of Hell. I'm
locked in constant battle with my nemesis in
Heaven. I can't always be there to sort out the little
problems of my employees. Just give the guy some
complimentary company tickets and get him to shove
//Satan hangs up. Uvayah is watching, they are playing
golf. Uvayah: "More like locked in a constant battle
against your poor putting." Satan, pouty: "I have a sore wrist."//
//Ezekiel: "Daddy says I'm to give you more tickets.
Fancy some Wagner this time?" Blackaby: "Actually, my
dog has been asking me about a cruise..."//
//Pictures of the titanic. (Date, place) (The famous
luxury cruise ship, the Titanic, is about to begin its
maiden voyage to America(?)) People etc. Signs saying
ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE THIS BOAT WILL SINK. and OMFG NO
SINKING HERE SIR! and such things. Maybe street criers
//(By the way, it sinks.) And you know the beginning of
Titanic when fatarse Winslet gets out of the carriage
with her hat. So you see her hat.//
//Then looks up and it's Habib. HAHA SHOCK HORROR//
//Blackaby, getting out behind him, looking kind of
po'd: "Habib - there was nothing on the tickets that
said we had to pretend to be a couple..." Habib: "You
want people to think we're living in sin?"//
//Blackaby face palms. Habib is, "Oo look, sailors!"
Wolf can wolf whistle at them.//
//On the ship's deck. Blackaby, Wolf and Habib. Wolf
and Habib are walking arm in arm like fashionable
ladies of the time. Blackaby: "Really, I am having a
good time! It's just that I've got this terrible
feeling that something horrible is going to happen."//
//Habib: "You always have a feeling that something
horrible is going to happen." Blackaby: "And I'm always
//Blackaby: "It's happened ever since I was hatched. No matter what I do, horrible things occur wherever I go. Wars. Plagues. Tragedies. And I can't seem to stop it..."//
//Blackaby is going on: "All I ever wanted in life was to be normal... and possibly work in retail... and play contact sports on the weekends-" Panel is of Habib and Wolf having to listen to this - Habib is making a little talking motion with his hand like yap yap yap and Wolf is rolling her eyes.//
//Blackaby, getting a little dreamy: "And I'd really like to have one of those little sports cars with a horn that makes an amusing noise and those fluffy dice, I definitely like fluffy dice-"//
//Blackaby stops, looks around. "...Habib? Beast? Where are you?"//
//(Elsewhere...) Habib propositioning a nice sailor boy. "Hello, kind sailor - would you be able to direct me to the captain's room? / Hee hee, I meant, would you be able to ravage me in the captain's room?"//
//(And another tale of unlikely romance is unfolding elsewhere on board the Titanic-) Wolf meeting Jack a la Leonardo DiCaprio. He may say, "My lady?" Wolf: "Rewr."//
//Wolf and Jack dancing with poor people.//
//Jack painting Wolf in the nip.//
//Wolf and Jack playing cards in a kind of hahaha back
to those dogs playing poker pictures. Wolf will
obviously be in dog form for this one.//
//One hand on the door of that car thing, you know a
sex scene ish, like in Titanic.//
//That I'M KING OF THE WORLD SCENE except Wolf is
howling like well a wolf.//
//Blackaby sitting at his table alone. Window behind
him. Iceberg can be seen in it distantly. Blackaby
drinks from his glass.//
//Blackaby: "Ew. Haven't you people ever heard of ice?"
Iceberg getting closer.//
//(Meanwhile...) Outside the Captain's office thing.
Crew person. "Er, Captain, we're sailing straight for
an iceberg-" From inside. "OoHHH Keep on going.."//
//Crew person, "Are you sure, sir?" "OH GOD YES PLEASE
JUST DON'T STOP."//
//From inside, "It's so big and hard-" Crew person,
uncomfortably "Well, icebergs are made of ice..."//
//From inside, "It feels so good inside me." Crew
person: "Er, sir...?"//
If you can draw this from a non-sexually explicit
position from INSIDE the captain's chamber thing, do it
for at least once of those above conversations just so
people are absolutely clear what's going on.
//Scene of Titanic approaching Iceberg.//
//Board room, Blackaby relaxing to music: "I think I'm
almost beginning to relax..."//
//Titanic getting whacked by Iceberg.//
//Blackaby: "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."//
//(As the ship begins to flood, the passengers and crew
of the Titanic realise they are doomed) Doomed
//(But their screams for heavenly assistance come to no
avail) Satan and Uvayah are sitting at home, watching
the tv. Uvayah is likely smoking a joint. Satan, holding out the phone: "It's for you, Uvayah - Maudiah from the Heavenly Hostess division wants you to divinely intervene on this shipping disaster-" Uvayah: "What, and miss Eastenders? Tell her I'm, you know, busy. Doing important stuff."//
//Satan on phone: "Uvayah can't come to the phone right
now. It says it's caught up with organising world peace
right now." Uvayah: "Nice one, kid, I owe you."//
//Blackaby dragging Habib out of the Captain's table.
"I can't BeLIEVE you, sometimes-"
//The boat sinks on one end. Blackaby and Habib fly
into the air.//
//They end up with Blackaby holding onto a pole and
Habib holding onto Blackaby's hand to stop from
//Habib, tearing up: "I guess this is the end,
Blackaby. Let me go, save yourself. But before I fall to my death, grant me a final wish - one last sweet kis-" Blackaby, annoyed: "Habib, you can fly."//
//Habib, unimpressed: "Oh, yeah."//
//They kind of fly out, Blackaby can't fly so I guess Habib will be holding him. Blackaby: "Now where the heck is my dog?"//
//In the middle of the water, Jack and Wolf is on this piece of floating wood or whatever. Jack is holding on like in the movie.//
//Jack, bravely: "Hold on, my love, and we'll survive. You're so beautiful. I love you so much."//
//Wolf: "I'm kinda hungry." Jack: "My love, if we wait until we're rescued, I promise I'll make you the most lovely dinner-" Wolf: "I'm hungry NOW."//
//From a distance - with Blackaby and Habib overhead, screams from the ocean. "My love... what are you doing... WHY ARE YOU EATING MY FACE... ARGGGGHHH..."
Final picture is them all on the board. Habib looking utterly wrecked, half passed out, Blackaby is just bored and Wolf is in dog form pushing hte board along. Blackaby: "Next time, we're going camping."