The "Laws" of Anywhere But Here

If you were exiled to the armpit of America, wouldn't you want to be somewhere else as well?

The "Laws" of Anywhere But Here

Postby Anywherebuthere on Tue Dec 27, 2005 2:14 pm

If you haven't picked up on a few "laws" that are in effect in ABH, I figured I should point them out.

1. Mongo, Bill, Cupid, and Death cannot die. It's IMPOSSIBLE to seriously physically harm ANY of them, no exception to this law.

2. Chris can NEVER be hurt while Mongo is still around. That's the job of Mongo.

3. It ALWAYS snows like a Mother on December 6th. You may see small flurries before that, but full blown, all out, wrath of God Blizzards ALWAYS happen on Dec 6th. From November 15th-April 1st, it will ALWAYS be snowing when characters are outdoors. From October 1-November 15, and from April 1st-May 15th it will ALWAYS be raining when characters are outdoors.

4. Kenny G will ALWAYS suck. There is no exception to this law WHATSOEVER. Country music sucks, for the most part, but there are a few exceptions to this law. Mostly, country music WILL NOT SUCK when it involves a song I actually like. Brittney Spears and any other bubble gum pop...will ALWAYS suck.

5. Expect the unexpected, and just go with it. Genetically Engeneered Dinosaurs, Guardian Devils, and walking death is just a part of life in North Dakota. We've gotten use to it, you can too.

6. Whenever things are looking up, don't worry, life will get shitty for you pretty damn soon afterwards.

7. The author is completly nuts. Get use to it.
    Addendum:
    Rule 7g - the Dude's name is secret..

    Rule 7q - Spelling Errors are NOT Mistress Kelli's fault.

    Rule 7s-Kelli is always right, it's not going to do a damn bit of good arguing about it.

    -Added January 3, 2006

8. A guaranteed pick up line in North Dakota "Hey baby, wanna see my snowmobile/pickup/hot rod"

9. There is NO color in ND, nor are there things like "trees"...not en-mass. Trees are rare, and practically an endangered species on the prairie.

10. There are a total of 7 streets and 9 avenues in the town that North Dakota University resides in. EVERYTHING is within walking distance.

11. Cupid may be harmed at any time...because that little fucker deserves it. In fact, if I could, I run "The many nutshots of cupid" for 30 straight days...but I think I'ld wind up losing most of my fan base.

12. Anywhere But Here will update AT LEAST 5 times a week. SOmetimes six, sometimes seven, sometimes A LOT. But no LESS then 5 times a week unless the author has actually gotten SEX, or is dead. Most likely he's DEAD, because he hasn't had sex in so long he's forgotten how everything works, and would most likely be HORRIBLE at it.

    Addendum:
    12a. The Site will update AT LEAST 5 times a week, provided Comic Genesis hasn't completly gone belly up and jammed so much shit into the updater that only a roto-rooter could clean it out.
    -Added Dec 31, 2005

    12b. If the artist is currently writing and drawing TWO comics simultaniously, this can only mean that not only has he NOT had sex in a VERY long time, but he has also most likely forgotten how to even masturbate properly any more.
    -Added January 6, 2006


13. Any of these laws are subject to change at the whim of the author.

Rule #14:

The cast is not infalable. Chris, and The Dude are human, they are all prone to fuck ups from time to time.

But there will most likely be a voice of reason coming from someone else. Because I cant stand when people are acting stupid...and neither would Chris or The Dude.

Most likely, Chris will pimpsmack the Dude, and The Dude will Pimpsmack Chris, because...quite honestly, that's what SMART people do when someone is acting stupid. Only idiots will tolerate stupidity, and neither of these characters, while being human, are dumb.
-Added 2-28-06

More "laws" to come as I think of them, or they are pointed out to me
Last edited by Anywherebuthere on Mon Feb 27, 2006 7:52 pm, edited 5 times in total.
User avatar
Anywherebuthere
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1500
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:29 pm
Location: North-da-fucking-kota

Postby Sweet_Fluxity on Wed Dec 28, 2005 3:42 pm

I enjoy it when fictional worlds have set laws. It makes things so much easier on me - I'm too anaylitical.

Don't even get me started on Star Trek. :)
User avatar
Sweet_Fluxity
Newbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 9:26 am

Postby Tangent on Wed Dec 28, 2005 5:43 pm

Rule 14. Reviews on Tangents are likely to happen whenever something especially twisty occurs. So in other words, expect weekly reviews.

(Joking! :D)
Robert A. Howard

Tangents
Image

Save Clan of the Cats! This fantastic web-comic needs your help to stay alive! Even "just" reading the comic helps. Go to the web-site to learn more. :)
User avatar
Tangent
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 399
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Massachusetts, United States

Postby Kilroy on Sat Dec 31, 2005 2:57 pm

You need to put an addendum on rule #12.... will update 5-6 times a week, IF comicgenesis actually is working!
Kilroy, master of the pasta jambalaya
<a href="http://www.wdmg.org" target="_blank">Where Drunk Meets Genius</a>
Image
User avatar
Kilroy
Newbie
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:33 am
Location: New Orleans

Postby Anywherebuthere on Sat Dec 31, 2005 3:09 pm

On it...
User avatar
Anywherebuthere
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1500
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:29 pm
Location: North-da-fucking-kota

Postby Mistress Kelli on Wed Jan 04, 2006 3:22 pm

Rule 7f - the Dude's name is secret.
Mistress Kelli
Newbie
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 12:49 pm

Postby Mistress Kelli on Wed Jan 04, 2006 3:24 pm

Rule 7q: Spelling errors are not my fault.
Mistress Kelli
Newbie
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 12:49 pm

Postby Anywherebuthere on Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:47 pm

And that folks, is the bestest editor in the world...


Or SECOND bestest editor next to Ragsharie Ramashandron.
User avatar
Anywherebuthere
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1500
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:29 pm
Location: North-da-fucking-kota

Postby Slicer on Mon Feb 06, 2006 5:02 am

12c. Techniques of masturbation will not be taught at ABH due to the artists' lack of practice.
User avatar
Slicer
Newbie
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2005 8:23 pm
Location: Selling whatever folks will buy

Postby Hornguard on Tue Feb 07, 2006 8:05 pm

Slicer wrote:12c. Techniques of masturbation will not be taught at ABH due to the artists' lack of practice.


He has a point.
Hornguard
Newbie
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon May 23, 2005 10:46 pm

Postby Anywherebuthere on Mon Feb 27, 2006 7:51 pm

Rule #14:

The cast is not infalable. Chris, and The Dude are human, they are all prone to fuck ups from time to time.

But there will most likely be a voice of reason coming from someone else. Because I cant stand when people are acting stupid...and neither would Chris or The Dude.

Most likely, Chris will pimpsmack the Dude, and The Dude will Pimpsmack Chris, because...quite honestly, that's what SMART people do when someone is acting stupid. Only idiots will tolerate stupidity, and neither of these characters, while being human, are dumb.
User avatar
Anywherebuthere
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1500
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:29 pm
Location: North-da-fucking-kota


 

Return to Anywhere But Here



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron