I know...

Postby Davie_guy on Fri Aug 31, 2001 11:01 am

I <I>know</I> you people are still coming to this message board. :P<P>But you're not posting! Why-oh-why-not? So I thought, hmmmm, they're not posting. Maybe I could give them something to talk about.<P>Then I thought, hmmmm, maybe <I>instead</I> I could post a story and see if any of them would read it and give me feedback. So...<P><div style="background-color: #FFFFFF; margin: 2em; padding: 1em"><P><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">A light flared up from inside the man's cupped hands, illuminating his face and the cigarette hanging from his lip -- momentarily pushing back the darkness. It was gone in a second, though, replaced only by the tiny glow of the man's cigarette.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">Chris had settled into the opposite corner of the dark elevator, legs out in front of him, head bowed, arms resting on his knees. The sound of the man's lighter made his head shoot up.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"What are you doing?" He was trying to not sound panicked, but he wasn't doing a very good job. The man took the cigarette from his mouth, a streak of red through the blackness.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Having a barbecue. What do you think I'm doing?" The man's voice wasn't malicious, it just contained no interest in talking to Chris.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"I..." Chris stumbled. He wasn't sure what to say. "My mom smokes. ...Smoked."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"I'm sorry for your mom. But what's your problem?"</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"I can't stand the smell of smoke." Chris' trembling uncertainty had been replaced with annoyance. Chris didn't think he was going to get the man to put out his cigarette, but they might as well be clear on where the other stood.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Sorry kid," the man said, surprising Chris. The glowing tip of the cigarette dropped to the floor and disappeared under the man's shoe. The elevator was completely dark again. "Problems with your mom?"</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">Chris' mouth opened and closed. He wasn't sure what to say.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Hey, what's your name, kid?"</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Um, Chris," he replied. His uncertainty had returned.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Mine's Guy. Guy Noir. I'm a private eye."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Wow, that's so cool! I wish I wer--"</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"No, it's not. And no, you don't."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">The elevator fell into silence. Chris gave a weak "oh..." under his breath.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Sorry, kid. Uh, Chris. It's just not all it's cracked up to be."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Oh." Chris didn't know what else to say.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"You were just about to tell me about your mom."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"I, um...." Chris still wasn't comfortable with this guy, but he was getting a little better at dealing with him. "No, I wasn't."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">Chris couldn't see Guy smirk in the gloom, but he gave out an audible snort, a laugh of sorts. "Okay, kid, okay. Smart to keep your mouth shut these days. I was just askin', but I wont push ya."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Thanks," Chris muttered somewhat shortly.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">Guy sighed and reached inside his trench coat. Chris' eyes were beginning to adjust to the darkness and he could just barely make out the other man's movement. He had pulled something -- a flask or bottle -- out of his jacket and was unscrewing the top. Chris saw him take a quick, violent swig from the flask, and rescrewed the top. Silently, Guy slid down the wall of the elevator, stretching his legs out in front of him.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"How long are we going to be stuck in this God-damn elevator?" Guy asked rhetorically, irritated.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"I'd rather be in here, then out there," Chris said emphatically.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"Safety is nice, kid, but it aint livin'. No use in being a well-protected vegetable."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-family: 'Palatino', 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 200%">"I--" Chris started in tenaciously, but was cut off. A cacophony of yelling and banging came from overhead. Suddenly the roof of the elevator crashed down, and light poured in from above. Chris and Guy both jumped up and backed stiffly against the wall of the elevator. A rope dropped down and thudded thickly to the floor of the elevator, followed after a second by a man in military combat garb. As soon as his heavy boots had hit the floor, his laser pistol was drawn an aimed at Guy.</div><P></div><p>[This message has been edited by davie_guy (edited 08-31-2001).]
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Postby Mark Gerrits on Mon Sep 03, 2001 8:07 am

You could call it
<h1>THE CIGARETTE OF DOOM</h1><P>When Ghostz was nearing its end I seriously considered starting an online serial novel, you know a few paragraphs every two days or so or a short chapter per week or whatever. Unfortunately I didn't have (and still haven't) enough time to develop the idea (if you think I was a slacker when it came to drawing Ghostz you haven't seen me try to write yet). But I still think it was an incredibly clever idea of mine.<P>------------------
<A HREF="http://ghostz.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Ghostz</A> - <A HREF="http://www.student.kuleuven.ac.be/~m9710832/huffduff/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>huff duff</A>
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Postby Davie_guy on Wed Sep 05, 2001 10:30 am

Thanks for the constructive critisicm. ;P<P>I think an online seriel novel would be cool. I have considered similar ideas. There was more written in that particular story, but it kindof goes downhill from there, since the plot in my mind got murky, and so far I haven't had a chance to finish it up.<P>An online seriel would be neat, though I like the saga-like comics. Avalon and Everything Jake are the best examples I can think of. Something like that, I think, would be a lot of fun to do. (In fact, I plan to do just that.) Wanna start a Ghostz saga? Huh? Huh? Wanna? <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif"><P>Later,
-David
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Postby Mark Gerrits on Thu Sep 06, 2001 12:30 am

Ghostz and plots don't mix. I think that's been well established in the past.

<center> <IMG SRC="http://ghostz.keenspace.com/comics/20000915.jpg"> </center><P>------------------
<A HREF="http://ghostz.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Ghostz</A> - <A HREF="http://www.student.kuleuven.ac.be/~m9710832/huffduff/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>huff duff</A><p>[This message has been edited by Mark Gerrits (edited 09-06-2001).]
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Postby Davie_guy on Thu Sep 06, 2001 10:12 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark Gerrits:
<B><center> <IMG SRC="http://ghostz.keenspace.com/comics/20000915.jpg"> </center>
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Are you kidding? I loved that guy! Ahh the memories...
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Postby Rannic on Fri Sep 07, 2001 6:04 am

... I'm gonna have to go with Mark on this one. See, when he tried to insert a plot into his strips, there was a noticable shortage of masturbation and sacriligious jokes.
Although the Armadillo was quite possibly the coolest character in the strip.
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