Adopt Flinty Kitty?

[Rkolter]

There were only two rules, again, for keeping Flint and Tristan together in the home - Flint had to continue to be good about not peeing around the house, and he couldn't show any hostility towards Tristan.

It really is as simple as that. While I continue to welcome any and all advice for getting Flint adopted out, comments about the decision itself or the possibility that he might have to be put down if he can't be adopted out, really aren't helpful.

If it makes people feel good to say that they couldn't possibly live without their cat, or that we're overreacting... I guess I'm glad we could help let you vent your indignation. But it doesn't change the situation, and they are selfish and hurtful comments, given this is a decision we agonized over for months before Tristan was ever born, and are heartbroken over having the situation actually come up.

Thanks.

As for Flint swiping at Tristan - he's front-declawed. I'm concerned with him taking his jealousy to the next step and biting him. We were happy to raise Tristan with Flint so long as Flint wasn't showing aggression. He is. As Merc points out, a cat's bite is a bad thing. It's a whole lot worse for a baby - a cat will flee an angry adult, who can fight back or at least show alarm. A cat willing to bite a baby may bite again because the baby can't defend itself. A baby's immune system is not well developed either, making any bite worse. And, they're small, making any bite more serious.

I'm not raising my baby with a cat that doesn't like him. I love Flint dearly, but he is an animal in the end, even if dearly loved. The priority is the child, not the cat, and there's no compromise to be had there. We're trying desperately to adopt him out, or to get him to a group that won't kill him due to age or his jealous streak.

[Terotrous]

If it makes people feel good to say that they couldn't possibly live without their cat, or that we're overreacting... I guess I'm glad we could help let you vent your indignation. But it doesn't change the situation, and they are selfish and hurtful comments, given this is a decision we agonized over for months before Tristan was ever born, and are heartbroken over having the situation actually come up.

Thanks.

Honestly, if you're going to take any suggestions people make that way, I can't see why anyone would want to help you. That was definitely not the point of my post at all.

[Rkolter]

If it makes people feel good to say that they couldn't possibly live without their cat, or that we're overreacting... I guess I'm glad we could help let you vent your indignation. But it doesn't change the situation, and they are selfish and hurtful comments, given this is a decision we agonized over for months before Tristan was ever born, and are heartbroken over having the situation actually come up.

Thanks.

Honestly, if you're going to take any suggestions people make that way, I can't see why anyone would want to help you. That was definitely not the point of my post at all.

I took your suggestion seriously; although we can't use the petpaws stuff - Flint is front-declawed; the concern is him ramping up his anger to a bite. Believe me, we're taking all suggestions seriously.

In your case I was commenting about the last line of your post:

Of course, you need to do what you think is right for your family, but I know if I'd die if I had to give up my cat.

If you don't see anything wrong with telling someone who spent months agonizing over the decision to give up their beloved cat that gee, you'd die if you had to give up your cat, well... fine and good. But it comes off as a pretty hurtful ad-lib to an otherwise well thought out suggestion, and honestly I think that if you were giving advice face to face, this is the kind of comment you'd hold back on making.

::edit:: I am sorry if you took it as a personal attack - I used you because you were the latest person to make a comment like this, but if you read back in this thread you'll see a whole LOT of little tacked on comments like yours. They showcase a belief that we don't find this an agonizing decision already and on the whole, only serve to make us feel worse about a decision that was painful enough to make as it was.

[Dracomax]

I honestly beleive that the people making hurtful comments to the Kolters haven't ever been over to their house. having been there myself, I can attest that they love their cats dearly. I honestly beleive if they had any other option, they'dkeep both. But, a child takes higher priority than a cat. It's not an easy decision, and we should support them for choosing their childs wellfare over their personal happiness.

And Ryan, I've been asking around myself, but most of the cat lovers I know already have at least one cat. I'll continue asking around until I hear you've found a place for flint, or I run out of people I'd trust.

[Phact0rri]

Honestly, if you're going to take any suggestions people make that way, I can't see why anyone would want to help you. That was definitely not the point of my post at all.

Probably the welfare of a cat who is on death's row.

[Rkolter]

Just an update...

Called Columbia Second Chance - they prefer email for surrendering a cat - so I emailed and explained our situation. Waiting to hear back.

Called Missouri Humane Society again; just to see if they were no-kill anyway - I could sneak Flint in. They aren't actually no-kill, and have no guarantee that your cat will even get an even shake before being put down so the cage can be used for another more adoptable cat.

Called the City of St. Louis Humane Services - turns out they do everything they can to adopt out cats including working with volunteers and other shelters. They have cats for months before putting them down. On a last chance, they may be better than anything else I found.

The Cat Network - the only large no-kill shelter in St. Louis area, is full up of cats and not accepting more.

I looked at PetCo - they use a group called Petfinder. That has a large number of potential volunteer organizations, but not a lot of good data on some of them. I have called five so far - three full, two I left messages at.

Part of the problem is that it's spring... and places are filling up with puppies and kittens.

[Dotty]

Wish I could offer you help, I still feel absolutely horrible about having to say no. I'm honestly not ready for a new #3 kitty, not this soon after Tolkien, and if he pees when he's jealous, then I really can't take him out of fear that all of my stuff will smell like cat pee.

I really don't think he'll bite Babykolter, Cats bat at stuff all the time they're jealous of, or things that need to learn their place....cats are great to have around younger kids because cats are very patient animals when dealing with infants, but like all animals, they have limits, and WILL put the person on their place with a bat when the situation calls for it. All he was telling the T man was that he was there first, and to pay his respects.

I can understand the need to be protective though. Prevention really is the best way to avert disaster. I wish you a ton of luck and I hope any hateful comments don't find their way to you anymore....dealing with a decision such as this is a terrible hard thing to do, even without people bitching at you. I felt just god awful about putting little Tolkien down, but he was going to suffer and I couldn't afford to fix him right then and there.

You're doing what you feel you need to do to protect your child, and there's nothing wrong with that. One idea...one that will suck but not as bad if you're lucky is to find a farm somewhere. Farms always have cats running around as they hunt the mice and other rodents, food is easy for them to find, and the farmer might even take the little bugger in. With all the animals around, if you can't find a no-kill shelter...it's an idea to consider beyond euthanasia.

It would be the whole driving away part that I couldn't do.

[Rkolter]

No go from Columbia Second Chance:

Thank you for contacting us about your cat Flint. We do not have space at this time for older cats, they are very difficult to get adopted and do not do well in some of the facilities that house relinquished cats (dog runs). It is also the start of kitten season where we are all inundated with stray Momma cats and litters of kittens, a struggling economy where owners are having to give up their pets for economic reasons and facing the possibility of economic euthanasia, and people with pet allergies desperate to avoid the concept of allergy euthanasia for their cat or dog.

We hope your friends will find it in their hearts and home to take in your cat as he sounds very lovely. Tuxedo cats are very independent, smart, and personalable.

Good luck and God Bless,

Sarah
CSC Cat Volunteer and Foster Cat Parent

[Ekolter]

We love Flinty. I'm still choking up over the thought of getting rid of the snuggle slut. We've had him since 2001.

Also, I don't know if you all recall, but awhile back he had a nasty tumble down the stairs wrestling/playing with Eternity Cat. The outlook was grim as he damaged his liver. We dropped $700 in tests and etc. We even forced fed him for weeks. Luck would have it he pulled through. How many people you know would do that? Please don't be so quick to judge our love for Flint.

Like Ryan says, Tristan comes first, end of statement.

[Rock_dash]

I think you might be overreacting a little bit, at least about the biting. I don't think the cat will bite him unless he antagonizes the cat. The peeing thing though, that's tricky. If it was me in this situation, I think I'd keep Flint in his room at least a little longer. I've known plenty of cats that live confined in smallish rooms for weeks they do fine, as long as they're well cared for. Give yourself more time to find him a home though. Trying to find an old cat a home before the weekend is like trying to find a JOB before the weekend. If your mother in law is the concern, see if you find find a friend to babysit him while she's there. If you're really lucky, your friend will fall in love with Flint and your problem will be solved.

One last thing, don't even think about dumping the cat. I know you have more common sense than that, but when you've seen as many cats dumped in the middle of nowhere (aka my house) as I have, it makes you wonder about people.

tl;dr Baby big change. Give cat time to adjust. Save Russian Jews, win valuable prizes.

[Terotrous]

::edit:: I am sorry if you took it as a personal attack - I used you because you were the latest person to make a comment like this, but if you read back in this thread you'll see a whole LOT of little tacked on comments like yours. They showcase a belief that we don't find this an agonizing decision already and on the whole, only serve to make us feel worse about a decision that was painful enough to make as it was.

The thing is, I fully realized it was a difficult decision which is why I went looking for something that might help you, from the way your initial post was worded it sounded like the problem was your cat scratching at Tristan. In light of the correction I see my suggestion was unhelpful.

I agree that the final line of my post was ill-considered. My intent was to soften my post so it didn't sound like I was telling you what to do, I didn't mean to come off as "righteously indignant" but I can see how you might have taken it that way. My response was also overly harsh.

I realize that everyone is probably under a fair bit of stress right now and are liable to lash out at each other so I'm willing to let the matter drop. I do hope you can find something that works out for you in this situation.

[Rkolter]

Rock makes three good points -

First point - we'd never dump Flint somewhere. That's not a concern. Noooooot a concern.

Second - we didn't mention it, but because we now have Flint in the spare bedroom, he has longer than this weekend. My mother comes into town the last week of April, so he has to be out by April 26th (sunday). This gives us cleaning time.

Third - Rock brings up a great idea. If we could get Flint babysat for the couple weeks my mother is in town, he'd have a lot more time available while we looked for a home for him. He's got some extra time already now that he's doing ok in the spare bedroom. If we get through that visit, he'd have even more time.

Although we're running out of friends to look for permenant homes, to be honest. Anyone adopting Flint gets litters, toys, and any reasonable expenses paid (up to a hundred or so if needed).

Terotrous - no harm no foul. We're cool.

[MixedMyth]

there are also animal hotels, depending on how long she would be around for. Just in case you can't find somebody to pet sit, although it seems like it would be fairly easy to do. Anyway, glad to hear there's a lot more time to find him a home. I think it usually takes a couple of months to do something like that. Especially at a time like this. The shelters are flooded with animals not just because it's spring, but also because a lot of people are having to give up their pets because they're losing their houses and jobs. Have you tried posting an ad? You could always interview the people if you're concerned about whether or not they would want him has a pet or for more nefarious purposes.

[Phact0rri]

UPDATE:

a friend of mine responded to me on the Flint situation

I really don't want a cat (for numerous reasons) however, I asked around and to make a long story short, let me know if Flint still needs a home.

so keep your fingers crossed guys. I just responded to her, whenever beth or ryan gets on I'd be obliged to be hooked up with a phone number or email address to pass along.

[Rock_dash]

UPDATE:

a friend of mine responded to me on the Flint situation

I really don't want a cat (for numerous reasons) however, I asked around and to make a long story short, let me know if Flint still needs a home.

so keep your fingers crossed guys. I just responded to her, whenever beth or ryan gets on I'd be obliged to be hooked up with a phone number or email address to pass along.

There is a special place in Valhalla for you, sir.

[Rkolter]

UPDATE:

a friend of mine responded to me on the Flint situation

I really don't want a cat (for numerous reasons) however, I asked around and to make a long story short, let me know if Flint still needs a home.

so keep your fingers crossed guys. I just responded to her, whenever beth or ryan gets on I'd be obliged to be hooked up with a phone number or email address to pass along.

PMing you as soon as I click 'submit'.

[Rkolter]

Phact - haven't heard anything from your friend's friend. Have you?

[Phact0rri]

I emailed her, the other day, and asked what was up. and she said it may not work as her brother (the adoptee) already has one very affectionate cat, but she'd let him know and see what he thinks. but that was like three days ago or something.

[Phact0rri]

while I was away at my sister's wedding, I got another Querry about Flint. waiting to hear back from them.

[Jim North]

I'll have to talk to my roomies . . . there's a possibility we might be able to take Flint for a week or two. But only that long, o'course, nothing permanent, as much as we might like otherwise.