Outrageous claims.

[Yeahduff]

Once got my haircut next to Barack Obama. He kept referring to Rod Blagojevich as "that ignorant mother fucker."

[Yeahduff]

Spike Spiegel is based off of some doodle I made on a bar napkin I discarded while I was in Kyoto.

[IVstudios]

James Cameron had actually never heard of the real Titanic until 6 months after the movie Titanic had finished shooting. The move was actually based on a dream he once had, and the similarities the the real Titanic are all coincidental.

[Yeahduff]

I coined the phrase, "thread useless without pictures."

[IVstudios]

There is a vast global conspiracy to convince Americans that China is actually a country. There is no such country as China. The area of the earth that is labeled "China" on maps is in reality completely uninhabited. It's history is completely fabricated. All video footage that is alleged to have been filmed in China was actually filmed in one of over 1,000 fake cities carefully constructed all over the world inhabited by actors form a variety of other Asian countries. Anyone who claims they have traveled to China is either in on the conspiracy or was actually taken to one of fake cites.

The reasons for this conspiracy are unknown.

[IVstudios]

It is illegal to own a pair of scissors in Norway.

[Rkolter]

The vatican sent emmissaries to the thirteen original colonies to convince them that the time was right to declare their freedom from England.

Also, as a direct result of this, the Vatican owns nearly 15% of the land in New York.

[IVstudios]

Penguins are actually sentient. Dolphins on the other hand are really quite stupid. Their apparent intelligent behavior is just the result of alien mind control rays.

[Laemkral]

California has a secret plan for solving its state budget problems: Annex Nevada and tax the crap out of Vegas. Texas will retaliate by seizing Oklahoma to maintain size superiority within the lower 48.

Mice are in league with the cat food industry to promote the stereotype that cat's eat things other than mice, hence the lack of mice flavored cat food. Similarly, cats own the dog food industry.

Steve Jobs is in fact a being from another world, possessing technologies beyond the limits of physical time and space. All Apple products are stolen arts and crafts projects by a kindergarten class from his homeworld. The shit he's got on his spaceship would make your kidneys explode from how advanced they were. Then he'd unveil iPods with dialysis capabilities.

[IVstudios]

I actually get payed one dollar each time I actually use the word "actually."

[Killbert-Robby]

I *AM* Sparta

[Laemkral]

Spongebob Squarepants is really the ultimate in CIA brainwashing. Every scene, the little crevices in his sponge body correlate to a letter of the alphabet and coded messages are being transmitted into your subconscious.

The FBI invented the idea that the CIA is reading your mind as part of a revenge plot for the burning bag of dog poop the CIA left on the FBI's doorstep in 1964

The entire Kennedy assassination was staged and filmed, then transmitted via microwave to the collective consciousness of the American public while cardboard cutouts filled the streets of Dallas. The sound stage for the Kennedy assassination was on the moon, while the sound stage for the moon landing was in California. The moon landing did in fact occur, but some jackass at NASA forgot to take the lens cap off pre-flight and they had to reshoot the whole damn thing.

[IVstudios]

Yeahduff is quite cheerful in person.

[Laemkral]

The French President is a spy for the British government. The Vatican believes the Queen of England is their woman, but she's really a double agent. Every President since Carter has worked for the CIA, and every Vice President has worked for the KGB. Ford worked for the Chileans. Nixon was a China man. The German Prime Minister spies on the German government who in turn spies on him. No one spies on Portugal. Russia spies only on the blue states. Iran actually is a puppet government of Israel, hence all the posturing but nothing ever happens. South Korea really does have a research program to make the Zergrush a viable military option in case North Korea goes nuts. North Korea isn't trying to build nukes, they're trying to build a computer that can run Starcraft so they can learn what a Zergrush is; also they're trying to build nukes.

Canada just wants to get along with everyone and their spy agency is in fact a front. What it's a front to, no one knows.

[IVstudios]

Now that's just ridiculous. I already told you there's no such place as China.

[Killbert-Robby]

I love you for your personality

[Tellurider]

Size doesn't matter.

[McDuffies]

I once met Yeahduff. Though, he didn't reckognize me, for some reason he thought I was Obama the whole time.

[KWill]

Global warming is an attempt of the penguins to get back at their natural enemies the polar bears for driving them from the North Pole. Sort of a "melted ice" strategy.

[Nanda]

Until 1965, Rhode Island was a part of New York. (I met a guy once who actually tried to tell me this.)