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At the risk of completely derailing the thread, here's a wonderful example of some of the misconceptions about Australia which did the rounds a few years back...
Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and some answers that may be appropriate.
I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true and if so, can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
(Sure, there's only 8 million of them)
I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue?(Germany)
Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
(Depends on how much beer you've consumed...)
I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
(Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.)
I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
(Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year and a half ago to get there in time for the Games...)
It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
(I'm not touching this one...)
Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
(No, and we use shells for money too)
Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)
(???)
Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
(No. Everybody stinks.)
Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
(Yes. At Christmas.)
Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
(Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.)
Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
(Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.)
Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
(What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?)
Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
(Rattlesnakes? There is only serum for the Funnel Web and Red-Back Spiders. You will need to contend with White-Tail Spiders, Brown, Tiger and Red-Belly Black snakes, sharks, Red Kangaroos, Blue-ringed Octopuses and the 3am pub closing time/taxi change-over)
Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
(Face North and you should be about right)
Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
(Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between
Austria and Australia.)
I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
Ahahahaha! Wow. Those are some doosies. c'mone, you guys, like, make Austrian Crystal and stuff, right?
Oh well, I keep meeting people who confuse Iowa with Idaho. This mostly comes about when they make potato jokes of some kind.
Someone should run a webcomic about Australia as it would be if all of those requests were actually possible. An Australia where you COULD see the Vienna boys choir, walk from Perth to Sidney, where all the women (say...8 of them instead of 8 million) are hot, and where there is no Christmas.
Either you haven't got the complete list, Joel, or you've severely edited it!
The complete list (who's location escapes me at the moment) has even more ripper furphies in it, but yeah, those are some of the common misconceptions.
Oh. On a side note...found a laminated map of the world today that I just HAD to buy.
It's a normal map of the world, except it's upside down so that Australia is on top!
It's definitely going up on the classroom wall!
Remember when your imagination was real? When the day seemed
longer than it was, and tomorrow was always another game away?
Dutch! wrote:Either you haven't got the complete list, Joel, or you've severely edited it!
The complete list (who's location escapes me at the moment) has even more ripper furphies in it, but yeah, those are some of the common misconceptions.
Oh. On a side note...found a laminated map of the world today that I just HAD to buy.
It's a normal map of the world, except it's upside down so that Australia is on top!
It's definitely going up on the classroom wall!
...Couldn't you just take a regular map and turn it upside down for the same effect? (Come on, out with the crikey! I've worked too hard not to get it!)
Col wrote:...Couldn't you just take a regular map and turn it upside down for the same effect? (Come on, out with the crikey! I've worked too hard not to get it!)
Col wrote:...Couldn't you just take a regular map and turn it upside down for the same effect? (Come on, out with the crikey! I've worked too hard not to get it!)
The words would be upsidedown.
- Joel Fagin
...Yeah, good point. *kicks the ground and shuffles off*
If I wasn't so drunk, I'd walk down to Australia between Seamus' stag party and Murphy's engagement party and really beat the ever-loving tar out of them for livin' upside down.
Now excuse me, I gotta go to church for a few rounds of whisky with the boys.
MERBman wrote:If I wasn't so drunk, I'd walk down to Australia between Seamus' stag party and Murphy's engagement party and really beat the ever-loving tar out of them for livin' upside down.
Now excuse me, I gotta go to church for a few rounds of whisky with the boys.
Hmm. German, English, French, Norwegian, and dash of Scott Irish here.
By all rights, my genes should hate each other's guts, go to war, try to conquer the world, and surrender at the last moment only to end up at the bottom of a beer.
About the only certain thing is that they'd try to invade Siberia only to lose.
Does anyone know the story behind the Scot-Irish? I mean, they were kicked out of Scotland, right? But by who and why? Was it by the English? Other Scotts? It baffles me.
