SFF In print

Birdie · Post by **Birdie** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 11:25 pm

okay, my trifle of a comic is now going to be published in my school's paper which is a dream come true, now I'm wondering if I can get any help or advice about actually printing a comic that people will read as opposed to one I upload and I'm happy when I get 12 hits. Here is the first comic I plan on publishing this wednesday. It makes fun of my school's parking problem

Any advice, critisicm, I can take anything and everything you give, i really want to make a good impression.

Toxic · Post by **Toxic** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 1:06 am

Awesomeness! My only critique is that the text looks rough and jagged.

Caduceus · Post by **Caduceus** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 1:16 am

I think it needs to be more specific. Instead of "somewhere else" try saying something like "Oh, I heard about a spot at the Quick and Go on Marvin Street" (or whatever the local convenience type store would be.) Right now it's kind of a generic joke that could apply to any institute of learning with bad parking (which is all of them.)

Dutch! · Post by **Dutch!** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 3:42 am

I disagree. I think the punchline is fine as it is. Let it sound as though it refers to all institutions. Then everyone can get the humour. Sort of

If anything, I'd change your middle panel dialogue instead.

'So where's the carpark?'

This brings attention to the fact that it's the lack of parking you are having a go at, not that he doesn't know where to go.

Just my thoughts.

Steverules · Post by **Steverules** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 5:33 am

I've always been a fan of your strip. I think the strip is funny and the only thing I'd change is the build up. The "where do I park" line just comes out of left field. I took your strip and put in some extra dialogue and sent it to your email account to give you an example of what I'm talking about. I like the strip and the punchline works great, however, I think you could give the punchline a greater build up.
Oh, and congrats on getting in the school paper. That's awesome!!! You will definately build a name for yourself on campus.

Steverules · Post by **Steverules** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 8:18 am

Oh, and one other thing. Put a horizon line in your pics and see how you like that. It helps ground the characters, keeps them from looking like they are floating in space. Personal preferences, though.

Birdie · Post by **Birdie** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 9:54 am

Thanks i'm taking this all in consideration for the next SFF comics. Thank you guys for all your help and support.

Steverules · Post by **Steverules** » Sun Jan 09, 2005 10:00 am

No prob, we all support you and wish you success. You need any help we got your back.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 2:11 pm

Speech baloons look too square.

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 6:03 pm

Dark Magician will lend you money.