The pain chart

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 3:45 am

When I saw this chart for the first time in your "Lighter Notes" column, it kept giving me the giggles. I thought it was an example of truly inspired wit. I'm glad you came up with a setting and caption so you could use it in Randym Thoughts as well. Now everyone, not just single LDS folks, can laugh over it too.What do you mean, what was I doing reading "Lighter Notes" on the singlesaints website? Uhhh...it was an assignment! Yeah, that's it! I was told to read it. And that's all I did, I swear! I didn't even look at the pictures! I only read it for the articles!Not to change the subject or anything, but---Does anyone have a recipe for lemon chicken?

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 5:21 am

These are the times that try mens' souls.My friggin' printer has gone into a deep, deep coma, from which I fear there is no recovery. Something about a faulty board, or port, or something with an "-or-" sound. So I shall laboriously write out the recipe for lemon chicken, and then go into the kitchen and gather the ingredients, and begin to prepare the recip--Hey, you know what? Screw that. I don't even know if that's the right kind of lemon chicken.Tonight, we're having roast beast, peas, mashataters, and gravy. Cholesterol overload for everyone!!!! Eat hearty.(Seriously, Strange, I'll try your recipe after my printer is functional again. Whenever that is. Thanks again.)

ZOMBIE USER 197 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 197** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 6:32 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Somebody Strange:
...and the best grilled cheese you've ever had. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Okay. You're on. Gimme your grilled-cheese recipe, I'll give you mine.Mine's damfine. It goes hand-in-hand with summer afternoons and reruns of Gilligan's Island or Perry Mason.--Howard

Kan Kong · Post by **Kan Kong** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 7:29 am

Mmmmmm. Grilled cheese. *drooooooool*I'd be interested in seeing your recipe as well. I'm always on the lookout for something cheap and easy to prepare. In the meantime, does anybody else have any recipes they'd like to share? (notice my subtle power play for control of the board) I'd be willing to reveal the secret of my world-famous Garlic Pasta . . . .

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 8:41 am

Man, Randy, I don't know how you and Howard do this day after day.This is hilarious.And KareNin, yes! I have a number of recipes for lemon chicken; can you be any more specific? That's kind of like asking for a recipe for a wheat bread sandwich...Are you looking for something tropical, something Eastern, something pretty American? Bread crumbs/rice/pasta? How soon do you need it?I love to cook; I'm only so-so, and I can only do the "fancy" stuff like pecan-crusted chicken and crab alfredo fettucine con scallion; other than the fancy stuff, I'm limited to microwave hot dogs and the best grilled cheese you've ever had. I can't even make hamburgers, which is probably God's way of making sure I don't die of red-meat-cholesterol-fat-grease-and-cheese before I hit 25 years old.--Strange------------------
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 10:40 am

SStrange, my good buddy, do you remember the Simpsons episode where Homer tries to impersonate Mr. Burns at the Post Office, and when the clerk asks him what his first name is, he replies, in his fake Mr. Burns voice, "I don't know."That's my answer to your question about what kind of lemon chicken. Imagine me answering you, in a fake M.B. voice, "I don't know."I'll try to find out, okay? How lame is that? Thanks for your help. Lord knows, I need help.

Mark Berrett · Post by **Mark Berrett** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 11:16 am

Lemon chicken.[This message has been edited by Mark Berrett (edited 01-31-2001).][This message has been edited by Mark Berrett (edited 01-31-2001).][This message has been edited by Mark Berrett (edited 01-31-2001).][This message has been edited by Mark Berrett (edited 02-01-2001).]

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 11:23 am

Yeah. THAT kind.

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Wed Jan 31, 2001 11:40 am

Okay, here's a good Chinese one if you have a wok. If you don't, then it's not so good. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif"> I recommend this over rice; I usually also sizzle up some green onions, red and yellow peppers, and occasionally toss in cashews and/or water chestnuts and/or bamboo shoots.A lot of the ingredients can be fudged if you have to. I usually have to. I have never had dry cooking sherry.Lemon Chicken
makes 6 servingsIngredients:
3 lbs skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1 tbsp dry sherry
1 tbsp soy sauce
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 cups vegetable oil
1/3 cup white sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch (yep, it's a repeat ingredient)
1 cup chicken broth
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp salt
1 lemon, sliced
2 tbsp vegetable oil (yep, it's another repeat ingredient)Directions
1. In a large bowl combine the chicken, sherry, soy sauce, and 1/2 tsp salt. Mix together, cover, and refrigerate. Let marinate for at least 15-20 minutes.2. In a small bowl, beat together the eggs, 1/4 cup cornstarch, and baking powder to form a batter. In a wok, heat 2 cups oil to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (175 degrees C). Coat chicken with batter and fry in wok until browned. Cut into bite-sized pieces and set aside.3. In a medium bowl, combine sugar, 1 tbsp cornstarch, broth, lemon juice, and 1 tsp salt. Mix together and add lemon slices. Heat 2 tbsp of oil in wok and slowly stir in lemon sauce mixture. Cook, stirring, until sauce is clear. Pour sauce over chicken and serve.-Strange@food.yum------------------
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

Mark Berrett · Post by **Mark Berrett** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 1:02 am

Put your favorite jam on that grilled cheese sandwich (mine's apricot). On the outside, not the inside.

Randy · Post by **Randy** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 1:12 am

Provo to Salt Lake is a daily commute for lots of folks -- it's about 45-minutes or thereabouts.

Olympic event tickets are about one firstborn, or two or more legally adopted children, depending on the event and the age of the children.

And this isn't worthy of new thread, so I'll just mention it here: I just had a dream that I was a giant, and I kept stepping on people. (Of course, that was merely a side note to the fact that the giants were part of a secret military organization dedicated to alien coverups and amazing new technology, but the part that I really remember was how hard it was not to step on those little people.)------------------
<A HREF="http://www.RandymThoughts.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.RandymThoughts.com</A>
<A HREF="http://www.comicgram.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.comicgram.com</A>

Kan Kong · Post by **Kan Kong** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 1:34 am

Woo hoo! Bob and Tom! Q95! Hooray for the Love Brothers! Huzzah for Chick Magee! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/cool.gif">

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 1:41 am

Hmm. Apricot jam, INSTEAD OF, or IN ADDITION TO, the butter one would ordinarily spread on the outside? Doesn't the jam sort of caramelize on the grill and get nasty and burnt? Sounds yummy...Oh, thanks for clearing up the lemon chicken question by editing your post from yesterday, Mark. I would have made the wrong kind if you hadn't straightened me out.I think a new thread where we tell about our bizarre dreams would be cool. Who wants to go first?

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 5:00 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Howard:
Okay. You're on. Gimme your grilled-cheese recipe, I'll give you mine.Mine's damfine. It goes hand-in-hand with summer afternoons and reruns of Gilligan's Island or Perry Mason.--Howard<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Sorry. Doesn't work that way. Mine's the simplest recipe ever, but for some reason no one else can make it.Seriously. Ask my wife, if you don't believe me. She knows my recipe; so does my sister, my mother, my best friend, etc. But nobody can make grilled cheese with the master's touch like I can. It's like if I tried to play John Tesh's music on John Tesh's piano; no matter what, I couldn't make it sound as awful as John Tesh can.Darn it, I'm hungry now.--StrangeEdit: I'm not hungry because of mentioning John Tesh, although if I were ever stranded on a desert island with him, I might very well eat him even if we were fully stocked with supplies.------------------
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.[This message has been edited by Somebody Strange (edited 02-01-2001).]

Kan Kong · Post by **Kan Kong** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 8:23 am

Aw, c'monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.Please?

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 8:39 am

I've always wanted to know: what IS a "desert island?" The deserts we have here in California don't have any islands in them. And most islands I've seen are, by definition, completely surrounded by water. Which, of course, is not plentiful in a desert.Hey, you think YOU have it bad... my favorite radio station here n the L.A. area just hired John Tesh to be their morning guy, along with some lady who has an irritating speaking voice. I've never been happier to have a CD player in my car.

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Thu Feb 01, 2001 11:05 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by KareNin:
I've always wanted to know: what IS a "desert island?" The deserts we have here in California don't have any islands in them. And most islands I've seen are, by definition, completely surrounded by water. Which, of course, is not plentiful in a desert.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Well, I understand it in two ways: one refers to an island that receives very little fresh water, making plant growth quite difficult. It's a bit of irony when you see the "desert island" with a coconut tree. If it were really a desert island, there would be very little chance of a tree. Sparse grass, perhaps, if you were lucky.But actually, the answer that I've been told is more accurate is as follows... desert (deh-ZERT... sorry, I don't have a schwa key) means to leave behind. The phrase "desert island" is likely a bastardization of "deserted island", meaning... well, the meaning's bloody obvious, really.Wait. Wait. Wait.I just looked it up on dictionary.com, and this explains it. "Desert" as an adjective can mean: "Barren and uninhabited, desolate"; "located in a dismal or remote area"; "wild, uncultivated".Either way, Tesh would be snack food before I was out of Slim Jims. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>
Hey, you think YOU have it bad... my favorite radio station here n the L.A. area just hired John Tesh to be their morning guy, along with some lady who has an irritating speaking voice. I've never been happier to have a CD player in my car.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Good Lord. As an (admittedly accidentally) ordained minister, I feel it is my responsibility to pray for L.A. a little extra now. Perhaps an exorcism as well.We have Bob and Tom here in Indy, who just announced today that Utah declared Jell-O the state snack.Which reminds me... how far is Provo from Salt Lake City, and does anyone know how much Olympic event tickets run?--Strange------------------
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Fri Feb 02, 2001 5:49 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by KareNin:
Oh, thanks for clearing up the lemon chicken question by editing your post from yesterday, Mark. I would have made the wrong kind if you hadn't straightened me out.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Another recipe:Lemon chicken (2)
Serves one(1) Go to KFC.
(2) Order chicken.
(3) Order lemonade.
(4) Pay for chicken and lemonade.
(5) Dunk.
(6) Eat.It's not as satisfying, but it's a whole lot less work.--Strange
------------------
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

KareNin · Post by **KareNin** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 4:12 am

I sure could use a good recipe for Garlic Pasta about now...

Kan Kong · Post by **Kan Kong** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 8:19 am

<Southern accent>Well frost my pastries! What a coincidence! It just so happens that I have one! </Southern accent>Thanks for humoring me. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">Okay, this is an extremely traditional recipe that's been passed down from generation to generation of Friolis ever since I came up with it in 1997. You'll note that I call it "World-Famous;" that's a bit of an exaggeration. It's actually only famous at a cheap hostel in London, where I cooked it for a boisterously international group.Frioli's World-Famous Garlic Fettuccine
Ingredients (these amounts are all approximate):1/2 Lb. fettuccine (or linguine or spaghetti)
2 tsp. salt
5 large cloves garlic
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese (optional)Okay, first you mince the garlic. I always use fresh, because garlic powder simply will not work for this recipe. Garlic paste does work, but it's usually too salty to be much good.Now you can start boiling the water. Put in the salt and the minced garlic immediately--before it begins to boil. (If you intend to use the cheese, don't put in any salt.)Wait for the water to boil. You can pass the time by reading something by Mario Puzo (have to keep the Italian vibes going). I recommend The Godfather.Once the water's boiling, cook the fettuccine in it. Duh. When it's ready (you want it to be al dente, nice and soft but still a bit firm in the middle), drain it. A colander works, but a hand strainer is really the best (the smaller holes keep the garlic from escaping).Stir in the olive oil and butter until the pasta's evenly coated and the butter's completely melted. If you want cheese, stir it in now.This'll serve one starving college student, or two Aussies, a Yank, a Brit, and a Canuck who also have generous helpings of shepard's pie in front of them.By the way, this is a pretty cheap meal. You can get a small bottle of imported olive oil (though enough for at least a dozen batches) for as little as $2.00, a whole garlic is usually less than a buck, and pasta can go for as little as $.25 a pound. The cheese is the most expensive part--I use the cheap pre-grated stuff, and $2.50 will only get you enough for three or four meals. Oh well. Enjoy![This message has been edited by Kan Kong (edited 02-03-2001).][This message has been edited by Kan Kong (edited 02-03-2001).]