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Aurora jumps on board!

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2002 11:37 pm
by Jilar
All those topics by Jason looked lonely, so I thought I'd make one of my own.

So, what stupid stuff have your cow-orkers, management, and customers pulled on you? Or what have you unintentionally done to yourself recently?

The management staff where I work has almost completely turned over since I started my current job (less than a year ago), and as a result, almost no one knows I'm cafe trained anymore! Woohoo! (I work at a Barnes & Noble with cafe and music departments.)

Other than that, I had pnuemonia for a week and a half, which reminded everyone just how much they love me. (hey, they told me so. they'd miss anyone who can do the work of three of those - mostly - lazy people.) So I've now spent the last week fixing the mess everyone made of my poor magazines. <possessive> I never thought I'd be so darn possessive of magazines, since I usually dislike them.

Anyway, how's everyone else's jobs? Any good stories or news?


PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2002 7:28 am
I am currently working for Pizza hut. The prank I pull on the new guys (FNG's.) involves the oven. (I learn't this trick off an old Chief Petty Officer. I modified it a little.) To turn on the ovens you have to turn 3 switchs (Heat, Blower, Convayer belt). What I do is send them looking for the Oven starter (non-existant.) The best record I have had sofar is 3/4 of an hour...My manager (who likes a practicial joke every now and then) ended the fun...that chick gave me a dirty look...but it was worth it...

PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2002 9:30 pm
by Dark_Tiger
This is a more of a nasty to a customer story but it's a good one so here we go:

I was working the Customer Service (returns) desk in a bad mood. Alright if you're working returns you're pretty much automatically in a bad mood but bear with me here. Lady walks up. Tries to return open software, no receipt, paid cash, and the store hadn't sold any in a month and a half. Naturally I told her that without a receipt I wasn't supposed to take it back at all much less give her cash as she was asking. She goes ballistic. So far just another day in retail. Then comes the ever popular "I want to speak to your manager!" I in all my head cashier glory tell her "I'm all the manager you need." This seems to work. My boss stops walking towards us and makes a sharp u-turn so as to "get out of the blast radius."


PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2002 9:59 am
by LaterJ
Very nice. I'm reminded of the time we were playing practical jokes on eachother at Michaels. It all started when, for some unknown reason (maybe retail just drives us crazy) I dumped a box of static-y packing peanuts on Chris's head. Chris was kind of like my mom, so we had one of those weird antagonistic relationships. Anyway, it took forever for her to get the foam out of her hair. I laughed and danced a jig and knew I'd started a war.
The next day I found my bookbag full of packing peanuts. I was still finding foam in it about a month later. Not one to be topped I took a new approach and used safety pins to pin the inside of her coast sleeves together. I was in the break room when she grabbed her coat to go outside for a smoke. It was awesome, because she struggled with the coat for a few minutes while chatting with Gary. Finally she cried "What the-" and discovered the pins. I died laughing.
Eventually the string of practical jokes died out and ended, but before it did I found packing foam in my coat pockets, and many a personal item was found hidden in another locker.

Why don't you sell that?

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2002 12:09 am
by Jilar
Some of my favorite bookstore questions:

"Where's your software?"

"Do you sell tape?"

"I want to buy a video camera."

"I'm looking for this book. It was mentioned on the radio this morning. I can't remember what station."

"I'm looking for a book by a Chinese author. I think it won an award." (note: I found that one! It was Soul Mountain by Gao Xingjian.)

(Holding a copy of a 1974 map) "I'd like to buy a new copy of this. Mine's worn out. No, I want the exact same one! Not the new version!"

"Where's the nearest atm?"

"How do you get to Borders?" (note: our competition)

"Where's your bathroom?" be continued...

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2002 8:43 pm
by Dark_Tiger
"Hey boss, that kid who keeps stealing games is back. Can I kick him out?"
"We don't have to kick him out watch this"
I follow along expecting the worst. We get to the aisle the thief is on.
"We'll just do what we did to the last shoplifter we caught. You were here for that right?"
We don't even slow down as we pass this kid. "No boss. What?"
"We'll beat his ass down!"
About when we get five aisles away or so we hear something (I think it was his skateboard) hit the floor. Before we get to the front of the store the kid blows past us and hits the door at high speed.

There are times when it's good to work in retail.


PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2002 6:00 pm
by Thybart
True story of stupidity:

I was working at Eckerds as an Asst. Manager. One night, a suspicious
shopper walks in after we close. He had a large gym bag with him and I
follow him around the entire store. He sees me and leaves without
touching anything. I close the doors...

The next day I go to work as usual. I see the same man handcuffed in the
office with the same gym bag; filled with Nicorette gum products. He had
lined the bag with aluminium foil so it would not set off the alarms. So
how was he caught? Get ready: He had about $4000 of Nicorette in his
bag, but he picked up a $1.25 cigarette lighter and put it in his pocket
before he walked out, the lighter had a sensor on it... isn't it ironic?


what an idea

PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2002 8:46 pm
by LaterJ
I never do, but one thing that I always loved about working in retail was finding ways to steal stuff. I didn't know that foil blocked the security sensors. I'm gettin' me some CDs!


PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2002 10:18 am
by Jilar
just plain carrying several cds together will block the sensors. they actually tell us this so we can watch for shoplifters! :roll:



PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2002 2:22 pm
by Thybart
Jilar wrote:just plain carrying several cds together will block the sensors. they actually tell us this so we can watch for shoplifters! :roll:


That actually only happens when the sensors are really close to eachother. Since CDs are so thin, they are usually the easiest thing to steal.

Racist Shoppers ;_;

PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2002 1:45 pm
by Icewind
Haha.. I got an account so I'm no longer a "guest". :lol:

Anyhoo... I used to work at a grocery store's deli during the summer... and we did the usual: slice meats, make sandwiches, slice meats, make party trays, slice meats, serve pre-made foods, slice meats, etc.

Anyway, one time, I was slicing some meats, and this customer and her husband came by. The customer ordered some macaroni salad, and some sliced ham. While I had my back turned to her and was slicing the ham, I heard her and her husband discussing whether or not they wanted to get more meat sliced. The customer told her husband that she didn't want any meat sliced by a guy who ate cats.

.. yeah...

My manager knew her personally, and had a few words with her. Next time her husband came to the deli section, she went into hiding. I know, I was coming back from a supply run when I saw her standing there, back against the wall on the opposite side from the deli.

Re: ::Ninja moves in for the kill::

PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:53 pm
by Jilar
JadeIcewind wrote:Finally, after stalking Jilar for so long... *pants*

<laughs> Woohoo! I have a FanBoy! :o

Today at work I put out 25 boxes of magazines. wai. That's just too many magazines!

Some brilliant person only scheduled 6 people to close tomorrow night. We're gonna drown...

Standing three feet from the bathroom: "Miss, where's your bathroom?"
Ten feet from the music dept, with a *huge* sign that says "music": "Do you sell cds?"


PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2002 11:46 pm
by Icewind
Jilar wrote:
<laughs> Woohoo! I have a FanBoy! :o

Nono, my Job title is "assassin" ;) I stopped being a fanboi when my agency cancelled the benefits and medical coverage.

Do you work here?

PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2002 11:22 pm
by Jilar
Leaned over, name tag flapping in my face as I opened boxes of magazines and was putting them out.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

Astounded by this brilliancy, I simply held up my name tag for them to read the nice big letters that read "Barnes & Noble". The customer stood there staring at me.

"Yes, this is a nametag." (really bright customer. still staring at me.)

"Yes, I work here." (No, I work for free. Which reminds me that I need to talk to management about my last "pay"check...)

"Where are your books?"

Okay, that's it. Next time I tell them no, and let them annoy someone else...

Re: Sensors

PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2003 11:29 pm
by DeD CHiKn
thybart wrote:
Jilar wrote:just plain carrying several cds together will block the sensors. they actually tell us this so we can watch for shoplifters! :roll:


That actually only happens when the sensors are really close to eachother. Since CDs are so thin, they are usually the easiest thing to steal.

Our sensors never even worked in my store, theyd go off if someone walked in with something, but never when they walked out. If you have one cd hold it tight to your body under your arm, it should make the sensors touch and not activate.

anyway stupid customer time:

*while traying CDs to put away from shipment*
"excuse me sir do you work here"
*i stand there blinking for a minute before i reluctantly answer "occasionally"
"Do you sell CDs"
*resists urge to choke customer.*

sometimes they try to be funny, most annoyingly with "do you sell DVD rewinders?"

Then they are annoying
*customer stands at counter, saing jibberish that he calls 'phat rhymes'*
"yeah, i can rhyme like Eminem"
*reach for stapler, place on my arm*
"look i can staple my self" *press down*
"yo, thats sick." *customer is defeated.*

Re: Sensors

PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2003 11:29 pm
by DeD CHiKn
Mock me if you will.