Award winning poems?

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Award winning poems?

Postby CJBurgandy on Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:44 am

I just won a poetry contest on KWHL (local radio station). The contest was to write a poem about the man whoes penis was cut off on Sunday. ( artical it was based on)

Here is my award winning Poem:

Once in the city of Anchorage
A guy tried to get him some leverage
While his wife wasn't looking
her neice he was nooking
he was so proud of his memberage

one day he decided no more
and said bye to his niece whore
so that very night
they started to fight
he had no idea what was in store

after the fight came to a stop
they decided to have a last romp
he said like a dunce
"hey just this once
I'll even let you be on top"

While thoughts of sex filled his head
He never thought he should dread
then she took a knife
but didn't take his life
but cut off his penis instead

after her dirty work was done
she flushed the cock down the john
she took him to ER
and got in her car
then she drove off and was gone

the police caught her before long
and professionals fished out his dong
The Uncle will follow Bobbit
that famous porn hobbit
and take up the stage name Don Wong.
CLICK HERE FOR HOT SEXY NUDES

"When Papa Smurf drank here, he was standoffish, Turk said. He favored vodka and didn't share his liquor." ~ Anchorage Daily News
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Postby IVstudios on Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:07 pm

:o

I wander in here and this is what I find.

*Is uncomfortable for the rest of the day*

Hilarious poem though. :lol:
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Postby Prettydragoon on Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:10 am

:D Woohoo! Well done, CJ!
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Postby Honor on Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:57 am

Despite the overwhelming popularity of her little brothers, the Limerick Singlet and far, far more rare Limerick Couplet, I think the Epic Limerick may very well be one of the more neglected and challenging forms of poetic endeavor...

Consider, for example, that there is no Limerick Laureate recognized by the United States... No Nobel Limericist has ever been named and given the accolades that are certainly due.

Frm Homer's Illiad, to the classic Beowulf, to the plentiful musings of the Bard of Avon... From DeSade to Montescue to Dickenson to Frost... All of our "best and brightest" cling to the safety of metered verse, or wallow in the structureless simplicity of free verse... None dare stray into the harrowing waters from whence comes the Epic Limerick.

So... Rejoice, therefore, I say... Settle proud and bright the laurel wreath apon your head, and mantle your shoulders with erminois.

Quite seriously... It's a nimble mind indeed that can arrange such abundance of so closely structured rhyme, and it's a kindness to do so with the direct intent of bringing smiles to the faces of strangers. This sort of verse does require a good deal more heavy lifting than the more popularly enobled forms of 'poetry', and I think it's far more noble in the first place to want to make people laugh.

Well done, love.
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Postby IVstudios on Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:17 pm

There once was a man from Nantucket...

<_<
>_>

*runs*
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Postby CJBurgandy on Wed Feb 23, 2005 2:09 pm

awww.... why doesn't anyone ever finish that poem? :(
CLICK HERE FOR HOT SEXY NUDES

"When Papa Smurf drank here, he was standoffish, Turk said. He favored vodka and didn't share his liquor." ~ Anchorage Daily News
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Postby Nithos on Wed Feb 23, 2005 3:45 pm

Because there are too many different variations?

Here's the one I always think of first:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
With cum on his chin
He said with a grin
If my nose were a cunt I would fuck it

Heh heh... the SCAdians I hang out with on occassion have an annual event of silliness, including a limerick contest. I've won both times I've managed to make it, and last time I won a dagger in the process (it's +3 against men from Nantucket! :wink: )

Speaking of which, pictures from the new years party said SCAdians threw that I went to are finally online, just thought I'd share one of the funniest bits of atmosphere, a little Dr. Suess parody (see, this is vaguely related - it's poetry).

http://www.grannys-oubliette.com/DnD_WaterOneFish.html
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Postby RantinAn on Wed Feb 23, 2005 9:15 pm

Cj you rawk. hard. Well done.
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Postby Infinity-Iz-Blue on Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:39 am

Listen to Honor, She's got her head screwed on the right way. More epic limericists!
"OH, I'VE SEEN THE INFINITE, IT'S NOTHING SPECIAL."
"Don't be daft! you can't see the infinite, it's... infinite!"
"I HAVE."
"Ok then, what did it look like?"
"IT'S BLUE."
"It's black."
"IT'S BLUE."
"It's black!"
"FROM THE OUTSIDE IT'S BLUE..."
Terry Pratchett, 'Soul Music'
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Postby CJBurgandy on Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:11 am

guess I'll have to write more
CLICK HERE FOR HOT SEXY NUDES

"When Papa Smurf drank here, he was standoffish, Turk said. He favored vodka and didn't share his liquor." ~ Anchorage Daily News
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Postby Infinity-Iz-Blue on Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:45 pm

Yay! More prize-winning poems! (breaks out the party poppers and silly hats) :D
"OH, I'VE SEEN THE INFINITE, IT'S NOTHING SPECIAL."
"Don't be daft! you can't see the infinite, it's... infinite!"
"I HAVE."
"Ok then, what did it look like?"
"IT'S BLUE."
"It's black."
"IT'S BLUE."
"It's black!"
"FROM THE OUTSIDE IT'S BLUE..."
Terry Pratchett, 'Soul Music'
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