Comments on this comic

Postby Vulpix on Tue Jan 16, 2001 3:17 am

The story line is very fluid, but I have to say that it isn't very interesting. I don't own a comic site or anything like that, but the story lines need a bit of work.<P>As for the drawings, well done!!! They are well drawn and comfortable to look at.<P>Regarding that characters, I think that the cast should not be together TOO often. It would be nice to have a bit of emphasis on the characters friendship with each other, brother-sister bonding and stuff like that. And what happened to that crazy Dr. Todovu? I kinda missed his whacky ways.<P>Even though most of my comments are negative, I'm still a fan of your comic and I'll stick to the bitter end watching your progress on this comic!!! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif">
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Postby Vulpix on Wed Jan 17, 2001 1:35 am

Being funny isn't always a must. A good story line is a must. As for writing something dramatic, it's possible to stretch them over a period of time and probably adding puns in some strips when possible.<P>And yes, I tend to agree sci-fi shows don't focus much on the characters, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't!!! Be special! Make your comic stand out!!!
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Postby Frauke on Wed Jan 17, 2001 12:55 pm

Hey, thanks for the feedback!<P>You're right, I haven't quite found my pace with the story line yet. So far I've been concentrating on getting the pacing of each individual strip right, because that was my main problem in the beginning. Just looking at most of the strips in my firs storyline, 'A game of golf', makes me cringe.<P>I must say that I'm not really sure how to go about making an interesting storyline while still putting in a gag at the end of each strip. For example, I really admire Jamie Robertsons writing, but I don't know if OCS would work without a punchline each day - I don't want to lose my readers and anyway I've no idea if I could write a dramatic storyline.<P>So at the moment I'm concentrating on making the strip funny and I hope to move on to longer storylines slowly as my writing gets better...<P>Looking back over my strips I see what you mean about more personal interaction. It *is* somewhat lacking, isn't it? I guess I have a case of 'character development episode' cold feet - I remember well how boring they usually are in Sci-Fi TV series <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>Now that you mention it, though, I think it could make a great basis for some interesting story lines, so I will try to take your suggestion up and get my writing moving forward.<P>Wow, I'm rambling again <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif"><P>Thanks a lot for your feedback, you've given me some great things to think about!<P>Frauke
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Postby Locdog07 on Fri Jan 19, 2001 10:40 am

I believe what she meant was that when Sci-fi shows do character development intensive episodes, they turn out boring.
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Postby Carsonfire on Fri Feb 16, 2001 4:37 am

Sorry for appearing in here abruptly... but having read this thread, I'm trying to think of some of those kinds of stories. One of the first that leaps to mind is the episode of Star Trek where Spock first displayed the Vulcan "seven-year itch"... the show was given a great opportunity to visit an important character's home planet, meet his people, and get to know a little more about what makes him tick.<P>And it was an exciting show to boot, with big battle scenes, etc.<P>And Vulpix is right. It isn't always important to be funny. Took me a long time to let go of that, too... on the internet, you have a special opportunity to hook readers by interspersing gags with something you hardly ever get in newspaper comics: stuff actually happening!<P>A cartoonist from a more "professional" circle than Keenspot and Keenspace (if you know what I mean) sent me a copy of an adventure strip he was working on. It was intended as a syndication attempt, and not an internet strip. The art looked good, and the writing had that predictable newspaper strip feel to it... but the remarkable thing I noticed was that nothing was happening! The characters were standing on a beach talking about exciting adventure things that were going on. It's the same thing you see going on within published newspaper adventures like Spiderman... you see plenty of goofy stuff, but you never get the sense that anything really important or exciting is going on.<P>I'm not advising you shift away from gags, FC, but if you do experiment with storylines more in the future, that's what my advice would be... put something heart-stopping in every strip, or else put in a gag. I guess that could also be covered by what's actual a standard rule in good fiction writing... "show, don't tell". Not enough cartoonists who try to do stories seem to realize how important that is.<P>Well, that's just me blabbing on and on. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>Hope some of my prattling is useful, or at least mildly amusing!<P>------------------
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Postby Frauke on Fri Feb 23, 2001 5:44 am

Hmm - yes, you're right. The original Star Trek certainly had some interesting character development episodes.<P>When I posted my reply I was thinking of some of the awful Voyager character developments. I actually stopped watching the show for a while because it got so dull (Except for the EMH. He rules! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">)<P>I think I may try something after the current story line. Actually I've got a great story about Bullotzo and Gijahs past, but it's rather serious and I don't think I'm up to doing it justice just yet...<P>Frauke
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