News flash!

Postby Jackiesfridge on Mon Jul 09, 2001 7:00 am

<font size=+3>Web Darling missing, feared dumb</font>
<B>By Frank Lee</B><P><B>Dateline Stevens Point, WI</B> - Fears mount in this small midwestern town as the search continues for local web celebrity, JoBeth. Last seen at her workplace (<B><I>!</B></I> Studios, CTH X, Stevens Point, WI), JoBeth has now been missing for 8 days, prompting fears for her safety.<P>"We haven't seen her since she showed up for her session last Sunday," said <B><I>JB.n!</B></I> head, BJ Hiorns. "After we finished the outdoor shoot, she got into her Wrangler and drove off."<P>Studio co-head Joey Hetzel was quoted as saying "Eh, she'll be back when you least, I mean, expect her." Hetzel did not seem disturbed by JoBeth's absence.<P>"If you ask me," said Darren Vanderhoff, local tavern owner and JoBeth's ex-employer, "she's locked herself in her Jeep and can't figure out how to get out." Vanderhoff went on to state that this is not the first time the web celebrity has disappeared, and that in times past, she was always easily found. "She's always showed up before," he said. "Usually right behind me, although we did find her in a bathroom stall at the bar, once - she'd locked herself in, and couldn't figure out how to get out."<P>Local police are on the case; Officer Tonja Steele is heading the search. When asked if there were any updates, Officer Steele said, "Well, we haven't found her yet, if that - MINDY, STOP THAT! - if that's what you mean." Asked if she felt the SPPD was doing everything possible to solve this disappearance, Officer Steele became belligerent, stating, "What, you don't think I'm doing my job? C'mere, I'll show you how I do my job." She then proceeded to beat this reporter with a bar stool. Litigation is pending.<P>At the moment, there is little information available as to what may have happened to this local media darling. Although reports have been received of JoBeth sightings as far away as <A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>San City</A>, these reports have not been confirmed. Police do not seem to suspect foul play, but they are unable (or unwilling) to speculate on what may have happened. Until JoBeth is found, this little town's concerns will remain unanswered.<p>[This message has been edited by jackiesfridge (edited 07-09-2001).]
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Postby BJ on Mon Jul 09, 2001 8:08 am

<b>OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE</b><P>I want everybody to know we are searching for JoBeth with every resource at our command. It is slow going, since she follows no logical path of travel, but we're starting at the mall and spreading outward from there. We don't know why she's disappeared, but we hope to find her very soon, and return her comic to its past glory.<P>Thank you,
BJ Hiorns<P><img src="">
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