Opinions of what I've got up so far?

Guyford · Post by **Guyford** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:32 am

I was going to post to the webcomic discussion thread over in general, but my comic was a bit short in terms of page length, so I'm posting here for feedback instead.

I've had this idea for my webcomic for over a year now and finally started putting stuff up a few months back. It's currently in greyscale, but eventually I'd like to make the switch to color. That being said, I'd appreciate any feedback on what works and doesn't work with the stuff that's already up.

The site is not dial up friendly, although I am trying to figure out a layout that works better before I get too far into the story in terms of page length.

Here's a link to the first page:

http://fredmon.studio1311.net/WebComicP ... 42006.html

Thanks ^^

Garneta · Post by **Garneta** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:43 am

Actually, I think that the greyscale really works with this (nice shading and effects, by the way).

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 12:49 pm

Anatomy's good. Styling's good. Line quality is awesome.

The one thing I take issue with is you current use of shading. That isn't to say that you aren't good... because you are (seriously, WOW)... but details have a tendency to get lost beneath all the wrinkles and folds you put in (which kind of give the impression of them being in an aquarium). Worse, the colors under this shading are all pretty much the same... within a scene, there are no really dark areas and no really light areas. This pulls out the lighting effects you use to the point of being distracting. As awesome as it is, distracting is never a good thing. My advice is to either lower the contrast of your shading technique, or heighten the contrast of the underlying tones.

I love your style, and the story so far is interesting and fairly creative. I can't wait to see more!

Prisoner · Post by **Prisoner** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:08 pm

Why is everything so shiny?

Duralict · Post by **Duralict** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 2:30 pm

I like the shiny. The whole style looks embossed - like you carved the panels out of plastic. It's a look I've never seen before. It's also beautiful work, by the way. I really like your cloth, and the dynamic poses.

You should think about your light values, though. Everything from skin to cloth to hair seems to have identical levels of highlights and shadow - it really does look like you're drawing a frieze or an etching, because everything has the "feel" of being the same material. It works beautifully in the first few pages, but after that the characters sometimes seem to get swallowed into the background.

Guyford · Post by **Guyford** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 5:55 pm

Thank you for the comments and feedback.

I was trying to keep things as mundane looking as possible in the office/restaraunt settings in terms of lighting and then use more dramatic shadows and whatnot when the supernatural element started to pick up. But in saying that, I can see what you are saying in terms of the characters getting lost in the background. I'll have to work on that in subsequent pages.

And as for the shininess--it's just the way I shade/color stuff nowadays. I used to be on a smooth gradient kick a few years back, but I'm trying to get away from that look. Not to say that there is anything wrong with it--I just wanted to try something different.

ChainSaw · Post by **ChainSaw** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:58 pm

I like it. The art has a unique look.

I don't know if I should say this... but I would like to see what it looks like in manga print.

sure, maybe a little pointless effect. but it just looks like it should have that texture to it.

Pencilears · Post by **Pencilears** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:42 pm

your lines are lovely, i just cant see them properly underneath all of the "aquarium" shadeing. this is possibly because i have a dark monitor, but you dont want to alienate us dark monitor people, we have needs!
currently the need to enjoy an uncluttered webcomic.

i can see that color will aid your clarity but it shouldn't have to, your lines are good enough that you don't have to hide them under anything.

be proud of your line work and let it free from the heavy shadeing.

i think it's what scott mccloud called overly intense,if every panel has the volume dialed to 11 the overall impact is lessened. (go read making comics, best book evar)

Guyford · Post by **Guyford** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:25 am

I feel a bit awkward about replying to this since it's been a while since anyone replied, but I haven't had time to post on the boards for a while and I don't like to leave folks' input unanswered (so I apologize if this considered as a bumping a post) so here goes...

Chainsaw: I was actually going to use screen tones to color the comic, so I thought that it was pretty interesting that you said that. While I'm pretty sure I'm going to stick with the current style for a while, I do want to try a few pages or images with screen tones to give the comic a more printed feel.

Pencilears: I can see where you are coming from in terms of clutter, but I feel that if I leave the images in plain black and white, they'll come across a bit too bare bones for my liking. The last few images have been in color, but in the case where I go back to greyscale (and it will happen when I'm short on time), I'll have to work out the contrast issues.

Thanks again for the comments

Uncaringmachine · Post by **Uncaringmachine** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:43 pm

I would really like to see it in color, but it still looks great and the writing is nicely done. I just thought the pages looked a little too...I dunno....busy? It's not a bad thing...ah nevermind.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/ ... /panel.jpg

Bustertheclown · Post by **Bustertheclown** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:11 am

It's well-paced, and well drawn, certainly. However, I have to say that I wasn't very drawn in by the opening dream sequence. It read just fine, and my eyes moved where they should. There wasn't a lot of clutter (possibly too clean for a scary street scene, actually). However, for a guy getting mauled by a werewolf, it all seemed a bit static to me. There wasn't that frenzy of motion that being attacked in the dark by something big and scary and savage would generate. Plus, maybe the monster should be a bit more obscured at that point? So that way, when it shows up later, we don't know exactly what it looks like.

Still, it's above par work, reminiscent of a lot of Image's style circa about five or six years ago. I do enjoy your choice to go b&w in a world full of color. Do I smell print aspirations?

Guyford · Post by **Guyford** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 4:39 pm

Thanks for the comments. They're much appreciated.

Uncaringmachine: The last few pages were done in color. Although the majority of the pages are in black and white, I did color them with the intention of colorizing them later on when I had time more free time. I think as a result, some of the pages look cluttered in that the characters kind of blend in with the backgrounds. Some of the other folks here have commented on this, and it's something I'll need to work on.

Bustertheclown: I can see what you are saying about the action in the first four pages. Although I wasn't going for the "scary alley" kind of look, I do agree that the werewolf attack does look pretty static. I've done a couple of sequential pages before (nothing long--mainly "drawing battles" with a buddy), and I always seem to take a bit of time before getting used to drawing the characters and starting things. Same thing applied here. Any upcoming werewolf action will be more dynamic looking though

Also in terms of hiding the monster, I only have a few hours a week to spend time on this, so I figured I'd just show the werewolf because I'd need to get the hang of drawing it eventually. Well, that and I knew it would be a while before supernatural stuff would start to happen.

No print aspirations for me. I don't think my stuff is quite at that level yet.

Thanks again for the feedback