Comic Genesis Forums

Yo,

I have been making comics and on for several months now but I haven't gott'n any feed back except from my friends so I would be very thankful if someone could give me there opinion on what I have so far.

Some of the older drawing aren't colored as well because they weren't origanly ment to be colored.

Well, if anyone has the time I would be greatful to hear your comments.

rtwm.comicgenesis.com

Hm... Your second-to-last update was a month ago. That's a bad sign.

Art:

Your artistic abilities are pretty good. You've got a solid grip on human anatomy.

But on that note, the copy-pasting takes away from it. Yeah, you can tell: ESPECIALLY in the most recent comic. In most webcomics copy-pasting is a nono. Some big name comics can pull it off, but you don't want to. Take the time and care to draw out each panel. You can use that opportunity to have the character make hand gestures, of move their weight. Or you can change camera angles. No one stands in the exact same position during an entire conversation.

Your latest comics could also use some sort of dividing line in panels with similar backgrounds.

Story

You've got some bizarre stuff in this comic. I LIKE bizarre. The chicken thing looks like it'll be a sound running gag for you, and you did well at getting your characters' personalities out within the first strips.

But, sometimes, it seems a little too random. It's not the demon/vampire/internetninja stuff: it's the fact that it's not joined together into a relatively cohesive storyline. I know this is a gag comic, so it doesn't need to be an epic adventure... But what stake do the main characters have in the little world you've set up? Are they just roommates? Why is the one of them so trigger-happy? The world around your characters is missing a certain... I don't know what... atmosphere of consistency?

Anyway, it's pretty good. Shows promise, if you can keep it up.

Thanks for the advice.

Yeah, I know about the copying and pasting (it is just too easy to get lazy when making a comic). I am going to try and put more time and effort into the next one (which will hopely be finished next week).

I know what you mean about the feel of it, how they almost lack a world. I am going to try and work something in so people can have a better grasp on it.

I'll chime in and expound on what Mr. Sparrow has to say with a few of my own observations.

What I noticed first when i loaded your page was that (on your index page) the ad is not centered. That attracts more attention to it than is really neccicary, and sort of makes the page less cohesive. As I started to read through the archives, I noticed that there were no storylines. Writing comedy seems to be easier for most people when they have some sort of context - even if it's simply that your characters go to the supermarket - although that's not exactly cut and dryed.

Your style, not in drawing but in layout, also seems, well... all over the place. Sometimes you're using single panel, sometimes the comic is on black, sometimes it's on white, sometimes the panels are disjointed while other times they have a regular pattern.

http://rtwm.comicgenesis.com/d/20060210.html
There you'll see a good example of how the framing of the strip is important. We live in left to right land (well, I assume - it is in english), so put characters who speak first on the left. It will make your speech bubble layout much easier.

Speaking of the bubbles, is there a specific reason you went with the serif font? It's not as easy to read at small sizes as a sans-serif.

Other than that, just a couple quick quirks with the site:
Your rant page is a giant picture. That's just plain silly. Use a 4 cell table, split the picture of... whoever (which reminds me - your characters should say each other's names more often. I have no idea what their names are from the once or twice they've been mentioned and I can't go look them up on a cast page.) into 3 bits and put the text in the fourth (probably not the best way to go about doing that. But you get the idea.) I promise it'll be a whole lot easier to update.

Also, the Misc page... what? It confuses me so.

You've got a good start and some decent writing and art ability. Keep the updates coming and you'll just get better. Which is a good thing.... I think.

Thanks for the advice C.W. ,

I'll put up a cast page on tuesday along with a new comic (if things go as planned) and I will keep in mind the drawing layout when making the new one. And if i get around to it I'll redo the rantpage.

Story: Feels a bit scattered to me. It's interesting but it's defenately random humor, and I think you need to work on your timing a bit. It is a lot harder to write fifty random-humor stand alone pages than it is to write fifty story-based pages. Timing is the key to making the pages work, and yours is a little off. Just a little bit. You came pretty close with your latest page, so I think all you need to do is practice a little bit more and you'll pull it off beautifully.

Art: Copy+paste=bad. Laziness is no excuse. The best way to polish your drawing skills is to do it, over and over and over again. Other than that, your artistic skill is fairly polished, especially with the color. Defenately above average.

Your site could use a little more polish, as it's very stark. The peach doesn't mesh well with the comic. I'm not the greatest with websites, though, so I'll let somebody who knows more about it give you tips in that area.

All in all, you've got a pretty OK comic here. Give it a little time and it'll probably be dynamite.

CW

G'day. Strange, but I like the peach background with the title and headings and stuff. You'll decide which way you want to go though. Possibly your navigation buttons could be a little smaller though, but that's about it.

Don't forget to give some of your panels borders. The last one (about the 'duck') didn't have any and the panels meld into each other.

I reckon you draw quite well. I like the way they've developed over a relatively short space of time. Maybe some panels could do with extra background details. Sitting on the couch with the camera on an angle looked good, but there was nothing else there along the wall. No picture, no table or book case...pretty bland otherwise. It's a little more work, but looks better.

A little too random for me...vampires and ninjas just don't really fit into much except as webcomic cliches, and I must admit I was turned off by the fairly regular use of the 'magic word'. Many seem to get a kick out of it, I think it's pointless. Also, I feel sometimes you've hit the humour too early in the strip and at times the last panel or two are unneccessary because the joke has passed.

Otherwise...I'm one who doesn't mind a bit of cut and paste used appropriately. I think your last strip actually works well with the cut and paste (except where it looks like you've only angled one of the characters instead of redrawn him). I think you can do quite a bit with the same basic picture and just a facial expression and eye direction change. I know others tend to disagree, but I use cut and paste as a legitimate tool often enough myself.

Each to their own though, eh?

Good luck.

Cheers.

I really enjoyed it. I like the Space Demon and the Gas prices going up. I enjoyed the art and I didn't notice any cut and pasting, but I've course, I'm in solidarty with you on that one.

I think you should be careful not to make the strip too random. Think Family Guy. A lot of the stuff in that cartoon is bizarre, random humor, but despite all that random humor it still has characters and a plot at times. Work on that balance.

I think it looks great! you just might want to work on making it more dynamic maybe adding more contrasting colors or interesting angle shots..you know when you make a panel think like a camera move around the shot at all angles and pick the most dramatic one :3
but overall i think its really good
-Michelle