Comic Genesis Forums

http://cameraangles.keenspace.com/d/20010510.html (first)
http://cameraangles.keenspace.com (or, if you prefer, home)

Quick sum-up: Roughly 60 strips in the archive. Running storyline + gag-a-day moments, moves between black & white and color. Furry-ish, SciFi-ish, Fantasy-ish, much breaking of the 4th wall, and other such silliness.

I'm in the process of restarting my web comic, after leaving the poor thing to wither for, err, way too long. ^_^;; <-(sheepish look) I've gone back, taken out the one-shot strips and the fan strips. I've chopped off the second incomplete story arc from 2003 (Catch as Cat Can) and have moved back to work on completing the first one (Darwin's Children & After the Fall).

If you wouldn't mind taking a gander, I'm looking for a few things:

A. General impressions - Like it, Hate it, etc
B. Plotline's interest level - How many comics did you read before leaving? Does the setting make sense or do I need more exposition?
C. Overall artwork - Hate it, Tolerate it, Bordering on decent.
D. Character design - General impressions (feel free to mock my pathetic attempts at biomechanics and clothing)
E. Color comics - Too dark? Too busy? Needs more depth of shading/highlighting? (Is currently at a low level on purpose, but am not sure if it works visually)

There are a few strips that I am going to go back and fix the lettering layout on, but pointers on readability are also appreciated. While I'm not overly thrilled with the idea of going back and redrawing the strips, if folks think it's needed, I'll give it a go. ^_^

Thanks for your help!

Wow... not even a 'My eyes! My EYES! *flees in terror*' comment? o_O??

It can't be that bad, can't it? *pokes her comic with a stick* ... *flees in terror as her fictives break out the heavy weponry*

You need to wait more than two hours to get comments, especially on art technique. Have patience. I'm only going to comment on the art, as I haven't read enough to make any sense of the plot. That's what happens when you rush reviews.

As far as I can tell you have three different artistic styles going on, here. One is the stick-figure filler strips, but I won't hold those against you. The other is the small, grayscale strips. And then the latest chapter is done in color, with some larger strips in there.

I think the art is fine. The characters have good expressions and their species is distinctive, although there are so many characters in the grayscale strips that I'm totally lost when trying to identify individuals.

I like the larger comics -- I think they make more sense than the three-panel ones, and if you want to tell a continuing story then having more real estate is probably better. I also like the watercolorly shading you do. So far the color strips do look very dark, but that's just because it's dark after the spaceship crash. I'd like to see you do a bright scene in color before making any real suggestions.

I don't have a lot to say, I guess. It looks like a fine furry comic, done in a low-detail storybook style.

Just feeling rushed by the rest of the universe right now. I haven't had time to read anything new in a while. But yeah, I'll do a critique for you soon.

RemusShepherd wrote:You need to wait more than two hours to get comments, especially on art technique. Have patience.

Sorry. ^_^;; I'm still used to the model horse boards where folks tend to take one look and come up with a 'I hate it' or 'I like it' more or less instantly. That and it's a really really slow day at work. *sighs*

RemusShepherd wrote:(snip!) although there are so many characters in the grayscale strips that I'm totally lost when trying to identify individuals.

The grayscales from In the Beginning was meant as a build up to Darwin's Children, lots of extraneous bit parts to help build the setting. Most of those you won't see again, but a handful continue onto Darwin's Children and After the Fall where they are fleshed out. I may have paced In the Beginning a bit too fast, regardless. *ponders*

RemusShepherd wrote:So far the color strips do look very dark, but that's just because it's dark after the spaceship crash.

*nods* I was just really worried that they were too dark to read. Since I know what's being said, it's easy for me to read, but I wasn't sure about other folks.

Thanks so much for taking the time to look it over. Sorry for being impatient. ^_^;;

Story:

Starting out, the use of plot holes was very reminiscent of Mixed Myth, which recently ended. The plot dragon is kinda cool, though.

Story-wise, you had an interesting premise with the comic characters being shown "off camera" but then you had to deal with the problem that these people were off work and didn't want to do anything. Plot failure.

The second story arc involve the search for a plot in the care of a plot dragon using reluctant characters. The only way to finish the story arc was by using a plot hole. Not a really great method.

The third story arc was basic training. I liked the rolling up the characters strip.

The fourth story arc, the only one named, flopped with you battling a plot dragon for FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! That's a lot of down time.

You didn't seem to have a story in mind when you started. That's the wrong way to go. You at least need a basic idea of where you want to go with the story before you start. If that's ALL you have, though, you need some good characters to carry your storyline along. Your characters, as is, seem to have very similar personalities. They don't take me as individuals. They take me as cheetah character, dog character, human character (even though the human character is yourself).

You need to follow through with your Darwin's Children story arc. Ask yourself:

15 people survived the crash. Do they know where they are? Do they have any supplies (food, shelter, etc.)? Do they have any weapons?

Are there any natives to contend with? What kind of culture do the natives have? Should it be low tech versus high tech? Should it be a racist issue (humans versus inhumans)? Should the survivors be worshipped as gods and the story be about the fallout when the survivors are discovered to be people?

Should they be the only ones on the planet? Is the planet hostile? How do they survive? Is the planet charted? Do they have any hope of rescue? How do they plan to handle their isolation? What kinds of psychological problems will they encounter? How do they get medicines? Some of the people are injured. How do they cope? What if the injuries become permanent due to lack of facilities? Can they repair the ship or is it a goner?

On a hostile planet what kinds of diseases are there? The atmosphere is obviously breathable so this is either a terraformed planet or a freak stroke of luck. What are the flora and fauna like?

Is this Earth of the past? The survivors now have crazy army guys and CIA to contend with. They will most likely be disected and studied. Do they become the progenetors of their entire race?

Updates:

You don't have to update daily, but force yourself to update at least once a week. Don't use filler. If you have plot dragon weeks, use your buffer to cover those. Don't miss a week. Ever. When you have a good week and do multiple comics, don't post all of them. Use the extras to fillout your buffer. If you find that you are consistently doing many comics a week, update multiple times a week, but stick to your schedule. If you say you're posting 3 times a week, post 3 times a week without fail. If you say you're posting 5 times a week, same contract. Post 5 times a week without fail. You will learn your capacity and you will get faster over time.

Artwork:

Draw. Keep drawing. You can only get better with practice. So practice. Use color.

Your artwork is very simple. It needs something beyond the basic line drawings to carry it. That's why I say use color.

Use photo references. Many of your characters look like you've studied Disney instead of studying real animals. About half your long shots involve stick figures, which in a way is interesting. You have a very fluid stick figure style. It's like chibi, but not.

Backgrounds. You're using an alien environment. Pull the reader into that. Be creative. Draw panels with large backgrounds, making the characters non-existant in the panel or tiny to add scale.

Read and look at other artwork. Get ideas of what can be done with the world. You've already got ideas of your characters. Now look to the world itself.

First off, thanks for the read! ^_^

faub wrote:Starting out, the use of plot holes was very reminiscent of Mixed Myth, which recently ended. The plot dragon is kinda cool, though.

Haven't read that one, I'll have to Google it. All this stuff was written back in early '00, so I'm brushing the dust off most of it. *grin*

faub wrote:You didn't seem to have a story in mind when you started. That's the wrong way to go. You at least need a basic idea of where you want to go with the story before you start.

All of the storylines after The Quest for a Plot were written out beforehand, I just got in a little over my head when I tried to swap to full-page full color comics. Too much to accomplish three-times a week and I got swamped. Translating short stories to comic form was harder than I had anticipted. I think I've got the hang of it now, so it shan't happen again!

faub wrote:Your characters, as is, seem to have very similar personalities. They don't take me as individuals.

*sighs* Was afraid of that. I get the same thing from reviews of the short stories more often than not. I'll go back over the char sheets and see if I can't make them more distinct. *ponders*

faub wrote:You need to follow through with your Darwin's Children story arc. Ask yourself: (snip!)

It's all already in the outline, so I shan't answer them here... lesting I kill what little reader interest is left. ^_~ But I'll take the time to update the Background section. This 'verse grew out of a GURPS world I ran for a while so I've got massive amounts of backstory that just hasn't shown up yet. ^_^

faub wrote:You don't have to update daily, but force yourself to update at least once a week. Don't use filler.

Current strip layout allows for a 3-a-week layout with a good buffer, but I may drop it too two a week if filler strips are really that badly recieved. o_O;;

faub wrote:Don't miss a week. Ever.

Errr, I'll try? This isn't a business, just a hobby. One I really enjoy (and finally once again have time to pursue), but I'm not seeking publication. *shrugs* Maybe I should go down to once-a-week or something... *ponders*

faub wrote:Your artwork is very simple. It needs something beyond the basic line drawings to carry it. That's why I say use color.

If I have time, I may move into color, but for now adding color adds almost an hour to the prep-time. Would the stepped grey-scale be an acceptiable alternative?

faub wrote:Use photo references. Many of your characters look like you've studied Disney instead of studying real animals.

I've used photo references, I just can't draw that well yet. ^_~

faub wrote:About half your long shots involve stick figures, which in a way is interesting. You have a very fluid stick figure style. It's like chibi, but not.

Yeah, my pens wouldn't draw that small, so I sort of chibi-fied them. I did a whole set of stick-figure books when I was a kid, so I just reverted to it by default. ^_^

faub wrote:Backgrounds. You're using an alien environment. Pull the reader into that. Be creative. Draw panels with large backgrounds, making the characters non-existant in the panel or tiny to add scale.

*doodles* Hmmmm... *doodles* I'll give it a try! ^_^

faub wrote:Read and look at other artwork. Get ideas of what can be done with the world. You've already got ideas of your characters. Now look to the world itself.

I'm busy burrying myself in webcomics again, but most folk who are doing epics art a lot better artists than I am, so it's sorta intimidating. ^_^;;

Anywho, thanks for the review! ^_^

Khriskin wrote: Current strip layout allows for a 3-a-week layout with a good buffer, but I may drop it too two a week if filler strips are really that badly recieved. o_O;;

faub wrote:Don't miss a week. Ever.

Errr, I'll try? This isn't a business, just a hobby. One I really enjoy (and finally once again have time to pursue), but I'm not seeking publication. *shrugs* Maybe I should go down to once-a-week or something... *ponders*

Don't use filler within the storyline. You can do filler between story arcs if you like. If you can't update that frequently then you shouldn't.

Business...hobby... the same rules apply. If you never miss a week you'll never have incentive to keep missing updates until you just stop altogether.

Khriskin wrote:Yeah, my pens wouldn't draw that small, so I sort of chibi-fied them. I did a whole set of stick-figure books when I was a kid, so I just reverted to it by default. ^_^

Then draw on bigger paper. Give yourself room to allow for your pens not drawing as small as you like. I'm currently using 11x17 paper, ala Marvel/DC. Even then I have to draw fairly small, but I have plenty of room for lots of detail.

Khriskin wrote: I'm busy burrying myself in webcomics again, but most folk who are doing epics art a lot better artists than I am, so it's sorta intimidating. ^_^;;

Don't just look at webcomics. Check out real comics too. See what the professionals are doing and even if you can't or won't emulate their style (I would say don't. Make your own style.) you might learn some tricks they use to make the page more interesting. Look at the layouts and the backgrounds as well as the characters.

faub wrote:Then draw on bigger paper. Give yourself room to allow for your pens not drawing as small as you like. I'm currently using 11x17 paper, ala Marvel/DC. Even then I have to draw fairly small, but I have plenty of room for lots of detail.

*laughs* I feel like a doofus, I've been using 5.5 x 8.5, basically the same size as it shows up on the screen. It never occured to me to work bigger and just shrink it. And here I thought I was being sneaky just swapping out panels when I messed up the inking! ^_~;;

I just got a new scanner, so I'm definately going to have to give the large->small a try. *ponders*

But first... fixing the rest of the mess I've made moving things around. ^_^;;

Again, thanks for your input!! I shall endevor to do my best to make the improvements you've mentioned. ^_^