Would Love Some Feedback

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Would Love Some Feedback

Postby The Demonic Comic on Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:45 pm

Well, I somehow managed to leave my tablet pen about a hundred miles away and won't be able to get it back in time for my regular update this week, so...

I thought I'd take the opportunity to ask for some feedback and constructive criticism on my fantasy comic Deck of Fools.

Firstly, I've got to warn that Deck of Fools is NSFW, it contains full frontal male nudity.

The comic is 17 pages so far, and I think there's enough there to give a good impression. A few things I'm concerned about are the colors, the sound effects (ahem, attempts at), and the general readability. I haven't been using a traditional comic structure with gutters between the panels, I think it works well in some places (Page 11 http://deckoffools.comicgenesis.com/d/20110625.html) and can be a bit hard to follow in others (Page 3 http://deckoffools.comicgenesis.com/d/20110430.html).
I'm also looking into redoing the site, and would love some suggestions regarding how to improve it. Thank you very much.

http://deckoffools.comicgenesis.com/
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Re: Would Love Some Feedback

Postby Mastermind on Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:34 am

Due to open panels, my eyes drifted from left to right before I got to read the lower part. But after one confusing page I got used to it and started reading everything around one scene before advancing.
The panels are close to each other and you could make everything smaller to separate them, but I wouldn't recommend it, cause your art is great.
When you try to squeeze in too many scenes and there's chaos on the page, you could try to slightly shape the speech bubbles so they make an invisible walls effect, that's my only idea.

Also, I'm against saying "fuck" in fantasy comics. It conflicts with the mood and reminds me of the Witcher game...unless it's Oglaf.

Nothing left to criticize; the action scenes are dynamic, the sound effects and colors work really well.
Last edited by Mastermind on Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Would Love Some Feedback

Postby McDuffies on Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:09 am

I like the idea of starting a story in the middle of happenings, makes it instantly more interesting. But there's not much of the story to comment on right now.
The way you draw your characters seems creepy to me. For some reason, it looks like a stop-motion cartoon with animated clay figures, and we all know that can look creepy as heck. I dunno if this is good or bad.
Since you don't have panels, you gotta give special attention to the construction of the page, to make it clear what's happening and other stuff... drawing one character twice next to each other in what seems like the same panel looks odd, even if it's apparent that it's from two different scenes. Not that you're doing a bad job, it's just you've chosen a thing that's much harder to pull off right.
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Re: Would Love Some Feedback

Postby The Demonic Comic on Thu Aug 11, 2011 5:42 am

Thanks for the feedback guys, it helped confirm my suspicions about the layout. I've obviously got an issue I need to address with the panels. While I don't think I'll switch to gutters at this point some sort of delineation is definitely necessary. Perhaps if I included a mid-ground between the characters and background I could work it into some sort of border.

Mastermind wrote:Also, I'm against saying "fuck" in fantasy comics. It conflicts with the mood and reminds me of the Wither game...unless it's Oglaf.


I'm not familiar with the game, but I'm a big fan of Oglaf. Though, that's not the sort of comic I want to create with Deck of Fools. The problem I run into is I always find invented swears to be rather silly sounding, and I can't use religious based swears because it would be out of place in the comic universe. The other option is of course to not curse at all, but it's difficult to find a phrase that adequately substitutes for a simple "fuck."

McDuffies wrote:The way you draw your characters seems creepy to me. For some reason, it looks like a stop-motion cartoon with animated clay figures, and we all know that can look creepy as heck. I dunno if this is good or bad.


Ha! I'm not sure what to say, at least they look 3d?
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Re: Would Love Some Feedback

Postby Mastermind on Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:22 am

Crap, I had a typo. I meant witcher. Anyway, I don't find your drawing style creepy. Except for the crazy eye dude :lol:
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Re: Would Love Some Feedback

Postby McDuffies on Thu Aug 11, 2011 12:25 pm

The Demonic Comic wrote:Thanks for the feedback guys, it helped confirm my suspicions about the layout. I've obviously got an issue I need to address with the panels. While I don't think I'll switch to gutters at this point some sort of delineation is definitely necessary. Perhaps if I included a mid-ground between the characters and background I could work it into some sort of border.

I just think a lot of planning of the layout, where to place characters to make the best effects, instead of any permanent solution. I figure you'll learn along the way what works and what doesn't. That kind of layout is a puzzle, but it's also a chance to experiment with things beyond standard comic layout.

Mastermind wrote:Also, I'm against saying "fuck" in fantasy comics. It conflicts with the mood and reminds me of the Wither game...unless it's Oglaf.


Oglaf's cool.
We all got used to ridiculous, faux-old language in fantasy comics, most of fantasy stories intentionally go for it as a mean to further remove it from reality. When I made my medieval historical comic, I avoided any intervention on language and had them speak modern. I think that was the way to make them sound to us the way they sounded to each others, since they were talking the modern version of the language at the time.
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