SWM seeks critique, and possibly cake

Laundromatcomics · Post by **Laundromatcomics** » Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:48 pm

I'm asking any and all that stumble across this topic, please go to my comic at Laundromat Comics and give critiques and advice about my art and site layout. I'm not terribly comfortable with shading and coloring, so I'm currently only using coloring to emphasize certain things, and shading is currently right out, but enough about that. Thank you in advance for your input.

Corgan_dane · Post by **Corgan_dane** » Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:09 pm

Link is broken.

Laundromatcomics · Post by **Laundromatcomics** » Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:13 pm

Sorry about that. It's fixed now.

That guy · Post by **That guy** » Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:03 pm

*Gives LaundromatComics some cake.*

Well, by biggest beef with the comic is that nothing much happens in each strip. For example. And your whole trip... to... hell could have been combined into a three-panel strip and been equally effective.

I prefer a comic which updates more on a less-frequent basis than one for which you must hit 'NEXT' after each panel.

FLittle · Post by **FLittle** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:49 pm

They don't really look like comic book pages, so equating them to panels as That Guy did is fairly accurate... I would highly recommend you go read a bunch of comics and get some ideas about presentation, pacing, use of color, etc. It isn't a whole lot to look at right now, but everybody's gotta start somewhere, right? I would also work on anatomy and inking.

Laundromatcomics · Post by **Laundromatcomics** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:21 pm

First, I'd like to thank the both of you for the advice. The singles should have been removed, and I think combining the three "hells" will be better. I also need to apologize, since what I'm ultimately looking for is more comments on content, though technique comments are also good. I didn't realize that until I had a discussion with a friend. What's the point of trying to improve my technique if I don't have any content? That's like painting a roast on a plate and trying to serve an orphanage.

Chibiartstudios · Post by **Chibiartstudios** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:34 pm

Ok then. Let's start with layout.

First off, I am SO into breaking the rules concerning the necessity for panels. However, you just don't have enough experience to pull that off. For now, I’d stick with what we know works.

Second, as said, you just don’t have enough content and action per square inch. Even when your better at this you’ll find a lot of the work involves deciding how to compress the action as much as possible to gain the strongest effect.

Now for artistic merit.

Frankly, you are still very much in a learning stage. So at this point the best thing for you is to learn. Take at least 15 minutes a day (after comic-making time) and just draw in a sketchbook. I’d recommend that at least HALF of those drawings should be of actual objects in front of you (or in magazines) and half of that should be of real people.

Why do this? Because the better you are at drawing realistically the better your cartooning will become.

Do that, and you’ll understand what is wrong with this guy’s shoulder, waist and neck here:

http://laundromatcomics.comicgenesis.co ... 60814.html

Lastly, work on humor. Until your drawing improves your writing will be key. Basically, if it won’t make YOU laugh, don’t post it. Remember, there should be no “waiting for the good part”. EVERY part should be the good part.

Oh! And don’t rely on friends TOO much for advice. Most will be too nice to give you the kind of hard advice you will occasionally need.