Critique my Strays

Yoko Molotov · Post by **Yoko Molotov** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:32 am

I was wondering what you guys think about my comic (in the banner below). My keenspace account is not functional yet so I have it on this temperary site. I started Stray Crayons last summer for the RSOMC but opted for another story instead. Anyway This will be a three part mini series.

-yoko

Wp · Post by Wp » Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:18 pm

I think you use way too many screentones. They kind of muddle the lines, so maybe you should thicken your lines? Anyway, just my impression.

Miruku · Post by **Miruku** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:04 pm

I like it so far.
The text is a little hard to read for me sometimes. I think this might be because the white spaces are a little grainy for some reason and also because some of the texts you use are very smooshed together. Also, using white text over a screentone that has some white in it isn't the best idea for readability. I was able to read everything, it was just difficult sometimes.

As far as art and storyline, I think it's coming along very nicely. It seems like you could either go somewhere very cliche or somewhere completely new with what you have so far, but there's not enough to judge on that quite yet.

Yoko Molotov · Post by **Yoko Molotov** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:44 pm

wp wrote:I think you use way too many screentones. They kind of muddle the lines, so maybe you should thicken your lines? Anyway, just my impression.

I ve been getting a lot of that lately. Since all of part One is finished there wont be any tone improvement until Part 2. I appreciate the critique and Im going to try to make my book a bit more subtle, visualy.
-yoko