Why I loathe Spin magazine.

Postby Christopher Kammerer on Sat Mar 30, 2002 2:57 am

It was 3am on a typical Friday night(me sitting at home cause I'm a fucking loser)when I happened to come along the site of spin magazine. Or should I say the soon to be dead bastards at Spin magazine. Never in my life have I been filled with such rage, murderous bloodthirsty rage. Let me show you why.

Spin magazine's 50 greatest bands of all time
1. The Beatles
2. The ramones
3. Led Zeppelin(should be no.1 on any list)
4. Bob Marley & The wailers
5. Nirvana(again with these pricks!)
6. Parliament/Funkadelic
7. The Clash
8. Public Enemy
9. The Rolling Stones
10. Beastie Boys(is this a joke or what, I love 'sabotage' as much as the next guy but let's get real people)
11. Velvet Underground
12. Sly and the family stone
13. U2
14. Run DMC
15. Radiohead
16. Jimi Hendrix
17. Sonic Youth
18. AC/DC
19. The Stooges
20. Metallica
21. The Smiths
22. Patti Smith
23. Niggers With Attitude
24. Kraftwek(who the fuck is that!!!!)
25. The Sex Pistols
26. Pearl Jam
27. The Grateful Dead
28. REM
29. Black Sabbath
30. Pavement
31. Fugazi
32. Kiss
33. Pretenders
34. Rage against the machine
35. Fela Kuti & afrika 70/egypt80(??????)
36. David Bowie and the spiders from mars
37. Blondie
38. Bad Brains
39. The who(39,thiryfuckingnine)
40. Grandmaster flash& the furious five
41. New order
42. Husker Du
43. Guns n Roses
44. Outkast
45. The beach boys
46. Massive Attack
47. Lynyrd Skynyrd
48. Corn(it's not fucking with a K dickheads)
49. Pink Floyd
50. Red hot chili peppers

My murderous rage has turned into wicked thoughts of pulling the editors of spin magazine out of their cooshy offices and beating them with coat hangers. Followed up by 100 lashings all the while they're naked and being spat upon by nuns and the clergy. That's right, they even pissed off The church.

Please tell me for my own sanity and well being that after reading this so called list that you've had even remotely similar thoughts. Where's the fucking justice. Kill em' all.
"Heaven has a gate not a door you fucking morons" - Jesus Christ of Nazareth
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Postby Tbandit2k on Sat Mar 30, 2002 11:02 am

Haha Korn Beat out Pink Floyd thats classic..at least R.E.M is in the top 30 .

Seroisly that list is fucked up
PUBLIC ENEMY #8 !!!!!!!!!!
Im with you Chris someone should kidnap their children and force them to relase a new ( and revised ) list as ransom
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Postby THE TRAVIS on Sat Mar 30, 2002 10:06 pm

how the fuck is that funny or classic? please explain it to me fucko! and yes, i can imagine doing very bad things to them, some include a hot poker and boiling hot k-y.
"There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who listen to Led Zeppelin, and those who don't" - Travis Kammerer
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Postby Tbandit2k on Sun Mar 31, 2002 10:43 am

Shit man , learn how to take fucking joke.
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Postby Nowhereman on Sun Mar 31, 2002 9:16 pm

I dig the Ramones but number 2?
Whoa.
And who the hell is Parliament/Funkadelic ?
Really, who are they? I use to think I knew something about music but Jesus....

and SPIN has always been the snobbiest music mag out there. I don't think they write towards the beer drinking, classic rock fan.
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Postby Christopher Kammerer on Tue Apr 02, 2002 6:07 pm

Parliament/Funkadelic is a bunch of old fat black hippies. Led by some tye dye wearing fat fuck named George Clinton. They know how to groove but that's just the weed talking, not talent. Oh yah, Dallas, singing the praises of REM joking or not is just not cool man. For shame.

How come Bruce Springsteen and the east street band wasn't on the list. Born to run baby!!!
"Heaven has a gate not a door you fucking morons" - Jesus Christ of Nazareth
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Postby Nowhereman on Tue Apr 02, 2002 8:23 pm

I just noticed the complete lack of Canadians on the list. There might be one hidden in there,but I don't see any Neil Young and Crazy Horse, The Band or The Guess Who (who the great lester bangs called the only group with the balls to be drunken buffoons.)
Oh well, who can I fight?
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Postby Christopher Kammerer on Tue Apr 02, 2002 9:54 pm

Dear dear Chad, If the palestinians have taught us anything it's that you wish to fight a foe more powerful than thou art. Then there is only one answer. Strap a bomb to your chest and run into the offices of spin magazine and martyr yourself. For music? .........yah I don't see it either know that I think about it. Well I still like the 'beating them mercilessly with coathangers' idea. Works for me. The people at Spin magazine are TERRORISTS!. At least that's the rumor I'm going to spread..................enough rambling.

P.S. Mr. Pete Townshend is a fucking genius.
"Heaven has a gate not a door you fucking morons" - Jesus Christ of Nazareth
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Postby Tbandit2k on Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:14 pm

Ahaha Yeah , well im standing my ground on the whole REM thing (they dont rock but...)but as for Korn That was just joke. By the way I cought the last couple sec's of a KraftWerk(probably spelled wrong) video on mtv.
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Postby Nowhereman on Wed Apr 03, 2002 8:03 pm

Heh, I should send a letter to Spin.
Not like theyd give a damn though.

Fuck it
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Postby Christopher Kammerer on Thu Apr 04, 2002 8:11 pm

Maybe just a letter bomb then? Marked 'Do not open until you are at the pinnacle of your career and the best days of your life are in the present'........then BOOM!!!!!..........Justice For All.
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Postby Tbandit2k on Fri Apr 05, 2002 11:19 am

Hahaha thats pretty good
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Postby Nowhereman on Fri Apr 05, 2002 2:33 pm

Has anyone ever noticed that most of Chris' plans usually have a death or two?
Just an observation.
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Postby THE TRAVIS on Fri Apr 05, 2002 3:46 pm

why don't we just drive up the stairs to their offices in the Death Car and blow em to hell? I like the sound of that or with guitars Judas Priest style...Breaking the Law!!!
"There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who listen to Led Zeppelin, and those who don't" - Travis Kammerer
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Postby Christopher Kammerer on Fri Apr 05, 2002 7:41 pm

My methods are just. I did say 'merciless beating with coathangers'. That's not a death threat,But it could be. How about Pete Townshend busting acoustic guitars over their heads. Jimmy Page could walk into spin to do an interview and just start throwing people down stairs and threw windows. The ghost of Keith Moon could trash their office. Keith Richards could put heroin in their coffe machine. Brian Johnson could break bottles of whiskey over their heads(although I'm sure he'd drink the whiskey first). Bono could protest and annoy them into submission. Or maybe, just maybe, 'CRAZY' Kevin Mckeddie could walk into spin magazine dressed as Micheal Douglas in 'Falling Down' and bust the door down and at the top of his blackened lungs scream 'I just can't take it anymore' and whip out a 12ga double barrel pump action shotgun and starting blasting yuppie journalists and editors and interns as they scream for mercy and cower for their lives like liitle school children. With the floor covered in smoking shotgun shells and the walls, floor and ceiling covered in infidel blood Kevin pulls out a cigarette and lights up. Mmmmm....smooth. He sees what he has done, and sees that it is good. He knows that he will be rewarded in heaven for ridding the world of an unjust evil. With this, Kevin rifles threw the wallets of the fallen demons. With his new wealth and the joyous feeling of a good deed done, He goes out and buys himself a marshall stack and rocks out all night playing 'Hallowed be thy name' and 'Metal Metaldown' amongst other British metal classics. Or nothing at all will happen to Spin except that they will continue to produce a magazine full of shite. One thing is for certain...............you all now know that I have an overactive and disturbed imagination. As well as a twisted view of reality. There's only one thing I'm sure about right know......this Crown royal is real tasty...........smooth.
"Heaven has a gate not a door you fucking morons" - Jesus Christ of Nazareth
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Postby Nowhereman on Sat Apr 06, 2002 9:06 pm

Haha, that has to be Chris' best post by far.
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Postby Ash on Mon Apr 08, 2002 6:41 pm

amen!
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