Tom Mazanec wrote:I just hope my Church would be on the side of Good. Speaking as a Catholic, I know my Church has a tendency to wait till the 59th minute of the 11th hour to do the right thing, after it has exhausted the wrong thing. We have seen this in the Geocentric/Heliocentric controversy (and there are still Catholic Geocentrists I read on Wikipedia) all the way up to the Pedophilia Scandal of today. If Pope Benedict has indigestion that day, we could be seeing Pope Pius XXX in 2843 sermonizing that the Church has always taught that Racconnans had souls.
SMITTY_THE_SMITH wrote:RedSquirrel456 wrote:Worst case scenario: Media paints them as enlightened aliens, and new religious cults spring up to worship the new-found godlings. Rac'Conans freak and upgrade their Mistwall.
Worst case scenario? One word, Napalm. If Bush discovered a race of non-humans in Florida. I'm pretty sure the war would start immediately.
RHJunior wrote:Okay, let's play that game.
The government discovers that the Racconans Have Landed.
Immediately, Bush goes to Congress to get a consensus on how to best diplomatically approach these strange new visitors.
Congress immediately votes to give him full authority to act in this sensitive manner.
Five minutes later the Democrats all announce that they were "coerced" by the "atmosphere at the time."
Bush goes to the United Nations to obtain some international cooperation and discovers that:
The UN bluehelmets are busy stockpiling relief aid in the most effective portions for extorting sex from starving alien females.
Germany begins researching how to tell arms to the invaders.
Russia begins researching how to sell nukes to the invaders.... generally by walking around where their missing arsenal used to be and shrugging expansively, "It vas here chust a minute ago...."
France begins researching how to break any embargo with the invaders, and how to say "we surrender, shoot my mistress but spare me" in Racconan. Their pronunciation is perfect however.
The Muslim nations are taking the opportunity to accuse Israel of human rights violations and assert that the raccoons from space are a Zionist conspiracy.
Kofi Annan is passing out bulletins on how to take graft and kickback form the aliens if they prove hostile, and holding a vote to put their representatives on the human rights council--- but only if they turn out to regularly commit human rights violations.
Canada's prime minister calls the seven villages "a shitty little country."
After half a year of wrangling with the United Nations, Bush goes and forms a coalition of Those Of Us Who Don't Have Our Heads Up Our Backsides, consisting of thirty member nations, to approach the Racconans.
This news is greeted at home by the Left with riots, vandalism, arson, and angry unbathed potheads tearing off their clothes and running up and down screaming in the streets-- but since this takes place in Berkeley, where it's the typical response to not getting an extra pickle on their soyburger, nobody notices.
Hillary stands up and claims the Racconans are a vast right-wing conspiracy. Kerry stands up and shows off his purple hearts and starts reciting one of his favorite "War Stories," in which he saves democracy singlehanded. Ted Kennedy stands up, calls Bush a "disgrace," gets in his boatmobile and drives off a bridge. Murtha stands up and accuses the American troops of raccoon-slaughtering war atrocities.
The Supreme court proclaims eminent domain on the Seven Villages and sells it to a developer for condos.
And 3,000 mexicans and 24 Islamics dressed in raccoon suits are given immediate amnesty by the administration when they're caught trying to cross the border.
GWB wouldn't be authorized and I'm not sure the Florida Guard *has* napalm.
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