International Order of Friendly Sons of the Raccoons

SolidusRaccoon · Post by **SolidusRaccoon** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 4:36 pm

We are looking for new members to join our ranks. Would you want to join the illustrious ranks of the Order of the Raccoons? When you join you can participate in such annual lodge events as the national conventions in Chicago and Minneapolis, the ride up the Hudson River to Raccoon point, the clambake, the fishing trip (wives not allowed), the National Mambo dance championship, the Costume Party, and you can join the Raccoon Lodge bowling team, the Hurricanes.

And maybe, just maybe you can become Raccoon of the Year. Which gives you the opportunities to Open the first clam at the annual clambake, Steering the boat on the annual ride up the Hudson River to Raccoon point, Free burial with spouse at Raccoon National Cemetery in Bismarck North Dakota, Opportunity to run for Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, and throwing the first bag of water out of the hotel window at the Raccoon convention.

To join the Raccoons you have to pay a $1.50 admission fee, have a public school diploma, and have been a citizen of the US for 6 months. Followed by monthly dues of $2 dollars per month, the uniform will cost an addition $35 dollars.

And now for the Marching Song

In the West and in the East
There's a mighty little beast
For courage there is no other.
When the chips are all at stake
We are proud to call him brother.
So with our noble tails entwined
And a spirit strong of mind
We'll have hearts that cannot melt.
In the forest, in the trees
On the land or seven seas
We're brothers under the pelt.
Raccoons, the noble Raccoons

CasVeg · Post by **CasVeg** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:31 pm

That's. . .um. . .very nice. Why do I suddenly have an image of a twitchy-eyed, axe-wielding, drooling mad raccoon suck in my head. . . ?

And in other news, here's a story about a guy who was totally owned by a raccoon back in 2003. It's an oldie but a goodie. Perhaps you've heard of it. . .

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Epilogue

GrayTiger · Post by **GrayTiger** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:00 pm

Why do I have images of the Possum Lodge?

CasVeg · Post by **CasVeg** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:04 pm

GrayTiger wrote:Why do I have images of the Possum Lodge?

Just keep your stick on the ice.

Narnian · Post by **Narnian** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:27 pm

GrayTiger wrote:Why do I have images of the Possum Lodge?

Probably not as sophisticated.

SolidusRaccoon · Post by **SolidusRaccoon** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:31 am

Yeah I like the Red Green show, still waiting for the ep on using duct tape on nuclear devices.

And the Raccoon Lodge is from "The Honeymooners"

Mwalimu · Post by **Mwalimu** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:45 am

CasVeg wrote:
GrayTiger wrote:Why do I have images of the Possum Lodge?
Just keep your stick on the ice.

And remember, I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together.

Doink · Post by **Doink** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 6:26 am

That story was great! I can't get the phrase "fat woman jeans" out of my head.