March 31
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SolidusRaccoon
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 3046
- Joined: Sun May 02, 2004 6:15 pm
- Location: Outer Heaven
I would say you have, congratulations.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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SolidusRaccoon
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 3046
- Joined: Sun May 02, 2004 6:15 pm
- Location: Outer Heaven
You win this round, but I will have my revenge.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
Bengaley wrote:
*tail drops and hits floor at same time with jaw*
You're putting me on the spot!
The most difficult thing about sharing Guard stories is they were created in the all male environment. Those discussions rapidly (de)evolved into one of three topics: Food, Elimination of food, and activities pertaining to the opposite gender.
Let me think, what can I decently pull from the two former categories?
Ah-Hah!
Well it may not be the greatest yarn, but here it goes:
I was called to State Active Duty in November of 2001 and spent the next several months guarding a local nuclear facility. The greatest threats we faced were:
1. Water spray from the cooling towers formed huge sheets of ice on our patrol route by the river, can you say wheeee!... sploosh? Additionally, said water formed MASSIVE ice curtains around the towers themselves. If they ever fell off, they would have crushed our patrol vehicle like an eggshell.
2. Canada geese: These birds invaded in force come springtime. I never thought of geese as being belligerent creatures, but when nesting time came around it was a BAD idea to exit the vehicle near their territory.
Other than that we were pretty bored stiff.
Our main "relief point " was a porta john located in a culvert about 100 feet below our guard shack (read Humvee parked in the middle of the road). The entertaimnent began there. To get to it you had two choices: Either walk 300 feet down to the plant entrance to where the ramp was that led down the culvert (and then 300 feet back to the john) Or take advantage of the 100 foot rappel line one of our more enterprising crew set up.
Once there one noted an interesting fact, the ramp that led to the john did not end at the john, but continued underneath it. We had to do our business at a 10 degree list. This was most entertaining in the winter months when we had on about five layers of clothing, helmet, weapon, combat harness, etc.
After one week when the HIGH temprature was 16 degrees Farenheight (I forget what the lows were) but it was COLD. I went to do my business and I discovered thet the contents of the john had actually FROZEN OVER.
I pointed this development out to one of my comrades and we started brainstorming on a new dessert idea: Winter Jello Portajohns!
Get a squarish container and start with some chocolate chips, or perhaps crumbled reeses peanut butter cups.
On top of that add blue jello
Chill and sprinkle on coconut chips and maybe crumbled oreos.
A second layer of lemon jello may be added if desired. (I personally dislike lemon =P
And there you have it: Winter Jello Portajohns! =^^=
What? No applause? =oo=
Well,... you asked for it!:)
Our hats went off to the noble man from the Mr. John rental company. He did his job well rain or shine. It takes a spacial breed of individual to operate the Slorp-o'-matic 3000 tube with one hand, while eating a sandwich with the other
Waitaminit!Oooo! Story time!
Share, share!
*tail drops and hits floor at same time with jaw*
You're putting me on the spot!
The most difficult thing about sharing Guard stories is they were created in the all male environment. Those discussions rapidly (de)evolved into one of three topics: Food, Elimination of food, and activities pertaining to the opposite gender.
Let me think, what can I decently pull from the two former categories?
Ah-Hah!
Well it may not be the greatest yarn, but here it goes:
I was called to State Active Duty in November of 2001 and spent the next several months guarding a local nuclear facility. The greatest threats we faced were:
1. Water spray from the cooling towers formed huge sheets of ice on our patrol route by the river, can you say wheeee!... sploosh? Additionally, said water formed MASSIVE ice curtains around the towers themselves. If they ever fell off, they would have crushed our patrol vehicle like an eggshell.
2. Canada geese: These birds invaded in force come springtime. I never thought of geese as being belligerent creatures, but when nesting time came around it was a BAD idea to exit the vehicle near their territory.
Other than that we were pretty bored stiff.
Our main "relief point " was a porta john located in a culvert about 100 feet below our guard shack (read Humvee parked in the middle of the road). The entertaimnent began there. To get to it you had two choices: Either walk 300 feet down to the plant entrance to where the ramp was that led down the culvert (and then 300 feet back to the john) Or take advantage of the 100 foot rappel line one of our more enterprising crew set up.
Once there one noted an interesting fact, the ramp that led to the john did not end at the john, but continued underneath it. We had to do our business at a 10 degree list. This was most entertaining in the winter months when we had on about five layers of clothing, helmet, weapon, combat harness, etc.
After one week when the HIGH temprature was 16 degrees Farenheight (I forget what the lows were) but it was COLD. I went to do my business and I discovered thet the contents of the john had actually FROZEN OVER.
I pointed this development out to one of my comrades and we started brainstorming on a new dessert idea: Winter Jello Portajohns!
Get a squarish container and start with some chocolate chips, or perhaps crumbled reeses peanut butter cups.
On top of that add blue jello
Chill and sprinkle on coconut chips and maybe crumbled oreos.
A second layer of lemon jello may be added if desired. (I personally dislike lemon =P
And there you have it: Winter Jello Portajohns! =^^=
What? No applause? =oo=
Well,... you asked for it!:)
Our hats went off to the noble man from the Mr. John rental company. He did his job well rain or shine. It takes a spacial breed of individual to operate the Slorp-o'-matic 3000 tube with one hand, while eating a sandwich with the other
Always tell the truth, that way you don't have to remember anything. -- Mark twain
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SolidusRaccoon
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 3046
- Joined: Sun May 02, 2004 6:15 pm
- Location: Outer Heaven
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Starfury
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 202
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 9:30 pm
- Location: Looks around..... "Um, you know, thats a pretty good question..."
- Contact:
Now I gotta make that and give it to my Jr. Highers after relating the story...
My LiveJournal!
http://www.LiveJournal.com/~akkettch
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgement, including every secret thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiates 12:10
http://www.LiveJournal.com/~akkettch
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgement, including every secret thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiates 12:10