"Mysteries" Mun thread

Doink · Post by **Doink** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:01 am

Why did you smack him with a trout? Because the mackerel wasn't fresh?

Mjolnir · Post by **Mjolnir** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:06 am

Nah. I only slap men of the cloth with mackerel.

- Mjolnir

GrayTiger · Post by **GrayTiger** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:30 pm

Good thing I wear boxers then eh what?

Greatdane · Post by **Greatdane** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:24 am

Hmm, the cursive stuff doesn't always work as it's supposed to do. Anyway, RedSquirrel456, if you have any stuff of their conversation that you want to put in then now is the chance. Jasper will be able to hear what the three are talking about.

Have a good weekend everyone, I'll return to you on monday.

Tbolt · Post by **Tbolt** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:29 am

Ha, ha! not one, but two posts!

Welcome back Greatdane! =^^=

BlasTech · Post by **BlasTech** » Thu May 04, 2006 2:58 am

*Poke*

Greatdane, is it better for your posts for Kahlin to stay at the hospital? Or should i be hoofing it back to the library now?

Greatdane · Post by **Greatdane** » Thu May 04, 2006 5:53 am

*poke right back at ya'*

Well, if Kahlin's fleeing the scene then it would be better if he did just that.

Jasper will get out of there and go back to the party's last known location.

BlasTech · Post by **BlasTech** » Sun May 07, 2006 5:21 am

Updated my post so that im not stuck in mid-transit.

Tbolt · Post by **Tbolt** » Mon May 08, 2006 2:54 am

Well, since I seem to have written poor Trajan out of the plot for now, perhaps it is time for a commercial break?

Advertisment:

Attention all racconan fans out there, in the light of the stunning commercial success of the Magical Kahlin plushie, Racconan Cuteness Exploitation industries is proud to present the newest in our line of quality products: Life sized, Sleepy Time Trajan!

*Camera pans to a shot of the doll, the expression on the face of the doll reads: “This is a very disturbing concept.” *

Let's see how little Karen likes her Sleepy Time Trajan doll!

* A ten year old girl with curly chestnut hair enters the room and shrieks with delight, immediately running over to the doll and squeezing it to herself with the force of a three ton press.*

“EEEEEEE! He's so cute and warm and squishy, and he squeaks when you squeeze him!!!” (She demonstrates this several times)

(“Wow, boss how did you get that realistic struggling-for-dear-life action built into that thing? I thought it was supposed to be inert? The tail poofing out when she clamps down is really neat too...”)

*A secretary walks in holding a large Trajan-like stuffed animal, “Sir, the prototype is ready, where did you want it?”*

“Prototype?! Oh, dear...”

Trajan finally manages to break free: “YAAAAAHHH!!!! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”

“Wow, that little critter runs fast..”

“Come Back here, you!! We're not done cuddling!” pouts the little girl.

“Uhhh, Boss, shouldn't you...”

“Hush, wait a bit!”

Trajan flees around the room looking for a means of escape, the girl in hot pursuit. Locating an open door, he dashes through slamming it behind him. A sign on the door reads “Focus Group”

“Switch to camera two.”

Shot inside the Focus Group room: Trajan braces the door closed with his back. He closes his eye and heaves a sigh. Then he notices what is before him.

The camera pans around to show that the room is filled with a horde of little girls, aged six to eleven.

The camera pans back to Trajan whose expression has now changed from relief to:”I've died and gone to hell”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Oh, yeah, the Christmas reel's gonna be gooooood this year!”

Hmmm, What to do next? Fuzzy Cuddle Twins Faris and Greystar?

Study time Kahlin with scrolls?

Electric Ampiere with magic sparkle effect?

Lonely Heart Aven with some sort of glowing effect??

Maybe a Valentine plushie Faris and Ayshe set, perhaps with magnetic nuzzle muzzles?

Round up the cast, we need some more focus group interaction!

BlasTech · Post by **BlasTech** » Mon May 08, 2006 3:51 am

Hehehehehe, after reading that i just HAD to go dig up that avatar again

Im loving these outtakes (although they have the troubling side effect of making me laugh too much to type a coherent reply)

Magnetic nuzzle muzzles? that just had me going AWwwwwww and cringing from the cuteness

Hope you arnt too bored ... im hoping we can get you woken up within the next week or so real time. I might just sprint over to the whim and lend them a hand at waking you

Doink · Post by **Doink** » Mon May 08, 2006 7:48 am

.......................

Tbolt, you are some kind of sorcerer!

Greystar (banging on focus group door): WAIT! TAKE ME WITH YOOOUU!

Fusion · Post by **Fusion** » Mon May 08, 2006 4:39 pm

Yesh! Give the poor guy a break!

Tbolt · Post by **Tbolt** » Tue May 09, 2006 2:51 am

On Topic: That was a great post, Doink, the background material came out really well!

Off Topic: (Or tangentially related at best

)

Thanks for the positive notes folks!

I tried to keep my thoughts straight, but a brainstorm ensued...

Product Testing

Here at Racconan Cuteness Exploitation Industries, we believe in conserving the environment. Therefore we only use 100% recycled resources in all our product lines. =^^=

Attempt 1: “En Garde” beanie Jasper, made with leftover beans from the Texas chili cook off.

Hmmm, is he supposed to be that squishy?

Well, he is a beanie...

What's that stuff leaking out of his tail?!

Oh, uhh, err...

It looks like he's suffering from radiation disease, and the smell!

Well, maybe we could release it around Halloween, and call it “Nightmare Zombie Jasper” with realistic decaying flesh odor?

Attempt 2: “Magic sparks Ampiere”

See, what we've done is take old Zippo lighter flints and wheels and put them in his hands! Now when he flicks his wrist...

Fwoosh! (The Ampiere doll disappears in a ball of fire)

>O.O<

...

Did I mention that we also used the cotton stuffing from those old lighters as well? =^.^;;

Attempt 3: Magnetic fun!

OK, several of the Focus Groups liked the idea of the magnetic “Nuzzle Muzzles” so we brought in a few of the prototypes here...

Where did you get the magnets from?

Old Hard Disk Drives! OK, so here are “Nuzzling Ayshe and Faris”!

My, they do make a cute pair, but why is Ayshe wearing a little black cape?

Well, Steve down at prototyping is a big “Sailor Moon” fan, and we got a great deal on black felt. Now, all you do is put their faces near one another and... CLICK! Oh, watch your fingers, the magnets are a bit strong...

Wow, they turned their heads and actually look like they are kissing, how sweet!

Then you just pull them apart... *grunt* err,... just... pull... them... Would you give me a hand here? Just grab Faris' body...

Good grief, perhaps we should call them “Terminal Lip-Lock” Ayshe and Faris?

This is worse than one of those old “Big Red” commercials! Wait there's some movement, the magnets are shifting.

Nice, now he has her by the throat...

Just a little more effort...

RIP!

Uh...

(“Ayshe” is now gripping “Faris's” decapitated head by the throat)

Maybe we could do a “Nightmare Sequence” Ayshe and “Victim” Faris to go with “Zombie” Jasper?

Keep working on it.

Yes sir! =^^;;

Meanwhile back at the “Focus group” session, Trajan is madly trying to escape his doom at the hands of a horde of charmed little girls. Through the two cameras one may observe the action on both sides of the door. On one side Trajan is frantically attempt to escape. On the other, Greystar is making equally vigorous efforts to enter. Both forces, acting in opposite direction on the door are effectively canceling each other out.

“You know boss, this could be an Olympic event, “Synchronized Door Opening”

<Munching on popcorn> “I dunno, if they were actually trying to do this it would probably never work.”

“Still though, barring the size difference it's almost like watching a mirror image...”

Fusion · Post by **Fusion** » Tue May 09, 2006 3:24 am

BWAhaha! The hidden dangers of recycleing.

RedSquirrel456 · Post by **RedSquirrel456** » Tue May 09, 2006 6:46 am

All right, just to clear a few things up about the mixed timelines with Jasper and Kahlin, and what they heard.

I'm going to assume that the first conversation between the three conspirator types that I posted is the last thing to be said, and so Jasper will hear that while Kahlin does not. Kahlin and Jasper both hear the one that Kahlin did in his second to most recent post. At the most this means they will only be able to confirm what the other heard. I'll include what Kahlin missed in my next post.

Fusion, I'm sorry to say we're in a corner. Both you and Aven are out of the action until, at last, everyone gets over to the library and starts getting down to business. This needs to happen very soon or things will get stagnant real quick and I don't want to leave Amp out of anything important too long. Unless you'd all like me to jump to the next most important event of Aven waking up and dealing with the fact that he's under arrest, at which point Ampiere will become part of the story again.

Tbolt, your toy ideas are hilarious. I especially liked the defective magnetic muzzle nuzzles...

RedSquirrel456 · Post by **RedSquirrel456** » Tue May 09, 2006 10:16 am

GreyTiger, just wanted to note, you can do what you like with the information provided and that little scout of yours.

Fusion · Post by **Fusion** » Tue May 09, 2006 11:04 am

Um, Red? It's Ampiere, or Amp for short.

RedSquirrel456 · Post by **RedSquirrel456** » Tue May 09, 2006 1:30 pm

Bwwaahh! I'm so sorry! I don't know why I keep getting mixed up!

GrayTiger · Post by **GrayTiger** » Tue May 09, 2006 6:29 pm

Will do chief.

Doink · Post by **Doink** » Tue May 09, 2006 6:55 pm

OT: Faris watches the focus group debacle and contemplates the benefits of hara-kiri.