Revision to appear Tues, Feb 12

Postby Scatman on Mon Feb 11, 2002 5:40 am

I was talking to my wife about the strip that appeared Fri, Feb 8. My wife really liked the strip, but as we were talking, I thought of a way to make it better. I thought the idea was good enough to warrant reworking a couple of panels. The revised strip will appear on Tues, Feb 12. Please compare the two and let me know what you think of the new version. Anything I learn will help me in the future. Thanks.
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Postby GregCartoonist on Tue Feb 12, 2002 4:13 am

I think I like the second version better, though the sparse wording on the first version appeals to me too.<P>Puhtater, Potato
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Postby Yupyop on Tue Feb 12, 2002 6:03 am

I like version 2 best, its less predictable. I agree with Greg about it being too wordy, panel 3 especially.
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Postby Yupyop on Tue Feb 12, 2002 6:05 am

I like version 2 best, its less predictable. I agree with Greg about it being too wordy, panel 3 especially.
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Postby Scatman on Wed Feb 13, 2002 5:56 am

Thanks for the feedback. While I've come to learn that simpler is usually better, I think version 2 adds a new dimension to the gag. I thought the idea of ninjas in corduroy was funny. I think it also shows Andy using his imagination, a dimension I have to make better use of.
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Postby Scatman on Thu Feb 14, 2002 12:25 pm

It's funny how talking with different people can give you different ideas. I was talking to my friend today about the corduroy strip, and an entirely new but unusable gag emerged. My friend said that in panel 2 he initially thought that Andy was farting. I tried to think of a sound effect that would avoid that impression, but I guess the ambiguity's still there.<P>Anyhow, going with it, I could just have Andy in the final panel saying, "I've really got to get some Beano." Sure, it's sophomoric humor, but it just goes to show how the brain can shift gears. Anybody like version #3 the best?
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Postby Throbbin Johnny on Fri Feb 15, 2002 5:37 am

Lil'Johnny's cords used to sound like "zip-zip-zip-zip". <P>Also, there's no lines in the pants to make them look like pants. They look like normal jeans/pants. Maybe a few lines would enhance the visual?<P>"Throbbin' Johnny: Corduroy free since 1986"
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