Where is Helena?

Scruffie
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Where is Helena?

Post by Scruffie »

I'm wondering where helena, one of the most interesting people on this board, has gone... she hasn't posted in ages...

I'm BORED! :evil:
Me? I'm just the sex appeal.

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Post by PhantomDMR »

I was wondering the same thing myself. She hasn't been posting avidly for months, course neither have I, but nobody misses me that much! But i have an almost interesting story to tell that may keep you amused for ten seconds. I take a bus out to my community college coz i hate to drive and the bus is easier. The road my college is on has a notorious reputation for accidents (4 people were killed on it last week for example) and it lived up to it today! The sun was hitting a stop light at the bottom of a hill and the bus had a hard time stopping, but the bus driver got it under control, stopped before the white line, turned around and asked everybody if we were okay and began explaining about the light. About 7 seconds after we stopped for the light, a red truck that had a trailer full of dry wall behind it slammed into the back of the bus. It pushed us fifteen feet and took him 178 feet to stop. Needless to say i was late for school and now my neck and back hurt, but it was an interesting start to my morning!

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Post by ZOMBIE USER 3288 »

*starts up the Helana Signal*

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Glick Glidewell
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Post by Glick Glidewell »

What that story was missing was Helana having lesbian sex
See what you can do about that.
I still talk to Helana on the phone fairly often, and she seems to be doing well. But she is only online like once a week.
Hopefully she will have some more stories to regail us with soon.
Maybe after Fuzzball we could start The Helana Saga! 8)
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Post by PhantomDMR »

hmmm...okay, let's see. After the accident the girl sitting next to me and I decided this would be the prime time to have sex with each other and then the whole bus had a mad orgy...better?

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Post by Scruffie »

I liked it. It was showy without being austentacious. I give it a 9.7.

Helenas always got a perfect 10 though... but, hey, your pretty high up.

Now Kane, regail us with YOUR lesbian tales!
Me? I'm just the sex appeal.

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Post by ZOMBIE USER 3288 »

Now, everyone on the bus was an attractive female, right?

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Post by PhantomDMR »

could it have happened any other way? It was a bus full of young, nubile, terrified co-eds who had the immediate reaction after being in a bus accident to have an orgy....what a porn set up that would be....

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Post by Glick Glidewell »

That reminds me of <i>Mallrats</i>:

BRODIE
But my cousin walter jerked off in public once. True story.
He was on a plane to New Mexico, when all of a sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control.
So he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there.
So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in and the plane rights itself. It lands safely. And everyone puts their pieces or whatever away and deboard.
And nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

GIL
Well, did he come or what?

BRODIE
Jesus christ !
There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
<A HREF="http://glickglidewell.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Glick Glidewell</A>
Featuring time traveling teenagers not played by Michael J. Fox

<A HREF="http://rumble.cjb.net" TARGET=_blank>Random Rumble</A>
The best movie ever!!!

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Post by ZOMBIE USER 3288 »

Porn... set up? I'm confused...

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Post by Scruffie »

SssH! In Angelos world porn doesn't get 'set up', it's real.

Kane, you haven't regailed us with your lesbian tales yet!
Me? I'm just the sex appeal.

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Post by PhantomDMR »

oh, i see, in angelo's world my updated description of the bus accident was a realistic scenario that happens in everyday life....what a strange and interesting world you live in angelo...

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Post by ZOMBIE USER 3288 »

No, I was confused by the concept of "setting up" porn, probably because all of my porn tends to be of the internet mpegs that - for the purpose of keeping memory small/downloads short - skip straight to naked people without any sort of explanation.

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Post by PhantomDMR »

ah, i see, porn on video can actually have a whole plot related to people having sex with one another. it can be quite amusing or quite disturbing depending on your viewpoint....

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Post by Teckgirl101 »

*sings* guys and poor-orn... guys and poor-orn... goes together like a horse and carriage...

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Post by Scruffie »

You can do a lot on this forum, but you can't YOU CAN'T just go and butcher Frank Sinatra like that. It makes me cry. :cry:

Are yuo saying that girls don't like porn? All the guy porn spam that I get through hotmail could prove you otherwise.
Me? I'm just the sex appeal.

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Post by ZOMBIE USER 3288 »

*sigh*

Who wants to explain to Scruffie the intended audience of guy porn?

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Post by Glick Glidewell »

Ok...

When a boy likes another boy, but that boy thinks he's too good for him, the first boy relishes in your email. Stupid second boy with his whole "I'm seeing someone...you just don't know them." Like anyone really believes that. Christ what a prick. And he's all like "But we can still be friends." And then he doesn't call and he ignores my emails. God what a prick.

I mean...

um...

I hope that helped, Scruffie.
<A HREF="http://glickglidewell.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Glick Glidewell</A>
Featuring time traveling teenagers not played by Michael J. Fox

<A HREF="http://rumble.cjb.net" TARGET=_blank>Random Rumble</A>
The best movie ever!!!

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Post by PhantomDMR »

speaking as one of the girls in this forum, yes, some girls like porn, but most of us just don't care to publicly advertise it in the blatant way that guys do

...kane, i'm a little amused by that rant

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Post by Teckgirl101 »

i apologize for the Frank Sinatra butchering... i'll stick with bashing Christina "I'm a skanky ho-bag" Aguilera if that's okay with you guys.

as far as porn goes, i'd like to say that upon driving thru San Francisco recently, there are 2 things that scare me indubitably... 1) crazy people. 2) porn.

not to say i won't look/watch the 2 aforementioned phobias, i just simply avoid them. paint me pink and call me weird.

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