I just wanted to post something...

[Helana]

I am here and I am not dead! I figure that's a good thing. I'm very sleepy and very goofy-feeling. So I think I will tell you about my adventure of last night. Actually it started Tuesday. I decided that morning that I was going to break up with my girlfriend Alyssa who lives 6 hours from where I go to school. Then that night she called me and told me she's in love with me. So I went out and got drunk and sang kareoke and all kinds of fun stuff. The next day I went to classes and decided to drive home after that. I got to Alyssa's around 12. Her mom was already asleep, so we didn't need to explain why i was there. So we talked for awhile and then started messing around. About 2:00 I'm going down on her and we hear her mom's door open. We froze. Her mom walks in and I'm still between her legs. But she hadn't put on her glasses and couldn't see and didn't turn on the light. So she assumes I'm Alyssa's exboyfriend and says, "Mark, put your clothes on and go back to Virginia. Alyssa, I thought you were smarter than that! Don't you remember what an asshole he was?" Then she closed the door, went back to bed, and we finished fucking. Then I went home and slept. That is the end of my story. You may laugh at me now. Goodnight.

[PhantomDMR]

I have missed you and your stories so much, you have no idea. The message board has been so dull without you. So let me get this straight you were going to break up with her, but by the end of the day you were almost caught having sex with her by her mother? what happened to breaking up with her???

[Scruffie]

Scruff like.

[ZOMBIE USER 3288]

yaaaay

And the message board returns to it's former glory.

[Glick Glidewell]

Shit, if we knew it was this easy angelo and I would've made up our own lesbian stories months ago! 8)

[ZOMBIE USER 3288]

To paraphrase and/or quote Howard Stern, "Lesbians = ratings."

I'm not sure how ratings convert to a message board not sucking, but they obviously do.

[PhantomDMR]

See, the reason why kane and angelo making up lesbian stories to make the message board lively again wouldn't work is because we know that yours are fake, and helana has a really interesting life that's worth reading about.

[ZOMBIE USER 3288]

Hey, my life is interesting! I fight rent-a-thugs and shit and oh my God I'm pathetic.

[PhantomDMR]

compared to helana we're all pathetic, that's why having her around is so much fun. we get to live vicariously through undoubtedly the most interesting person on this message board.

[Glick Glidewell]

From my conversations with Helana I get the impression that she spends a lot of time driving from place to place and other normal stuff.

But that's no fun.

Maybe we can create our own version of reality...
Let's start a cult!

[PhantomDMR]

well, i'm sure she has a normal life, but still more intersting things happen to her than do to any of us. cult....um that's all right, i like free thought.

[ZOMBIE USER 3288]

One of us! One of us!

[Scruffie]

Come. Join us. Come and play.....

[PhantomDMR]

...Scruffie, it appears you inherited the curse that was placed on Kane where you kill all the topics in the forum...
In other thoughts, why hasn't Helena been back to keep us updated on her ever exciting life?

[Glick Glidewell]

She moved into her new apt and has no computer, though her roommate may get/may have gotten one (been about a week since I talked to her). She said that she'll still be on somewhat often though, as she's going to be in the school's computer lab typing papers.

-Kane, prophet of the holy helana

ps: someone please reply to this so we can ensure my curse stays gone!

[ZOMBIE USER 3288]

Ok, I'll post. I hope I don't kill the topic!

[ZOMBIE USER 3288]

Crap, I guess I did.