6. Avoid Bud Ice. Shoggoths do watch a little TV, and have seen the old Budweiser commercials with the penguin stealing the Bud Ice. If you have Bud Ice near you, the shoggoth will likely think that you are a Sinatra-singing penguin who lurks in people's fridges and steals their beer. Not only will he want to eat you because you're a penguin, but also he will want to get rid of you because he hates Sinatra and doesn't want you lurking in his fridge and stealing his beer.
I love it. best laugh I've had in a while.
Vorn