dont try this at home (experementing is MY job! >=D)

Cryoblade · Post by **Cryoblade** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 1:32 pm

*iserts roll of toilet paper to the top tray of his printer, places printer on banner print* order today 3.50 per roll or 9.99 for the 4 pack! please include 2.03 S&H and its 3 dollars extra for the name brand version with 'pettles of silq'
besides you expect this guys toliet paper to be COMFERTABLE?!

UncleMonty · Post by **UncleMonty** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 2:17 pm

Hmmm... I was going to market an Avariss cracker, but the "Goldfish" people won't let me use my advertising jingle: "The snack that scowls back at you until you bite his head off."

Back to the drawing board...

Genecatlow · Post by **Genecatlow** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 3:05 pm

Hmmm... I was going to market an Avariss cracker, but the "Goldfish" people won't let me use my advertising jingle: "The snack that scowls back at you until you bite his head off."

Back to the drawing board...

For some reason I have a feeling that eating
too many of them would necessitate the quick
use of the product that Mr. Plebe took
particular umbrage to...

Kaerou · Post by **Kaerou** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 5:02 pm

Back to the drawing board...

i recommend a line of punch bags, stress relieving squeezy things and 'sucker' lolipops(i wouldnt put that in _my_ mouth btw)

Cryoblade · Post by **Cryoblade** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 11:59 pm

*EDITS HIS COMERCIAL*
hello my furry friends. im here to introduce to you the REAL avariss charmin! with petal of silq and images of everyones least favorite human, when you whipe with avariss charmin, your not just doimng yourself a favor, but all of furriston as well!
and REMEMBER!
DON'T! squeese the avariss charmin! o.o;
also, if youve been eating too many of the avaris goldfish's *painting black frosting hair and scowels on a handfull of goldfish* you may need the new calico connections brand (c) ^tm (R) patent pending avariss hurl bag *prints out a bunch of sqaures, puts tape on there backs, stick them in the bottom of a bunch of airflight sickbags he swiped* they perfect way to let avariss know how you feel, behead him them throw up on him! ^_^
and uh uh *paints his face on a lil pill*
the NEW avariss brand orthotricyclin! if your going to take the pill, why not take the only pill pill that helps cure acne and is almost garunteed to keep you from ever wanting to have children again! *looks around frantically trying to make mmore money off this fad* *sticks an avariss face on a mini fan* THE AVARISS FAN! it blows! uh, hot air that is! from avariss's mouth! just like the real one! and um! ah geeze! oh ofcourse
*goes through his baby toy box, pulls out a rock'em'sockem robots and slaps a face on it*
rock em sock em avariss! do i even have to explain this one?! ^_^
and uhhh
*prints out a pic of avariss with his mout wide open onto a toilet seat cover* EH?! =D EH!? is this somethin or what?! aw heck, just send your email adress and ill give you the catalog!
PLEASE BY SOMTHING! im a poor cyborg-cat-thingy, i know! for every dollar you spend 25 cents will be donated to save the furrys! *holds up a small rabbit wearing a tattared loin cloth* for your donation a lil fur like this will be given food, clothes, medice, and a place to eat! please help canoviam children by buying from us and supporting, save the furrys!
*doesnt think hes going to be able to do anything more to sell stuff so runs off stage*

Genecatlow · Post by **Genecatlow** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 2:06 pm

On 2002-03-23 23:59, cryoblade wrote:
*EDITS HIS COMERCIAL*

cryoblade, you are silly. ^_^

UncleMonty · Post by **UncleMonty** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 5:06 pm

But he is very realistic. One could almost see him in a television studio or conference room...

I was working on an Avariss liquid drain opener, (especially tough on fur) but the "caustic lie" content exceeded EPA limitations...

CyberCorn Entropic · Post by **CyberCorn Entropic** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 5:24 pm

How about using various soundbites to stitch together an anti-telemarketer answering machine message:

"This is Michael Avariss. Leave your name and address or phone number so that I may 'deal' with you when I have the time."

Genecatlow · Post by **Genecatlow** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 5:23 pm

On 2002-03-24 17:24, CyberCorn Entropic wrote:
How about using various soundbites to stitch together an anti-telemarketer answering machine message:

"This is Michael Avariss. Leave your name and address or phone number so that I may 'deal' with you when I have the time."

Oooh... and I thought the bathroom tissue was
a wicked concept... O_O

ZOMBIE USER 7262 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 7262** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 5:27 pm

Somehow, I think Mikey's legacy is going to last a lot longer than he is... if only to be something that parents tell their children about so they'll behave. ("You go to bed right now or else Mikey Avariss will come and eat you!")

...which, while funny, would actually be a little unfortunate for the future.

TheRedWolf · Post by **TheRedWolf** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 6:58 pm

How 'bout a chew toy? or a shooting range target? or... uh.. some type of fireworks? "they blow their top just like the real thing!"

Elevenbane · Post by **Elevenbane** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 9:17 pm

I am shocked and annoyed at you people. Obviously no one is taking into consideration a large number of society!

I mean, come on! What about babies?

Slap Mikey's face on diapers and even the wee ones can do thier wee part fer the cause. So tykes, cry like mad until you get to do your own dooty, just like a big kid does!

*cue the advertisment jingle, "I'm a big kid now"*

Cryoblade · Post by **Cryoblade** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 2:06 am

ARGH! for all my marketing expertise, i am once again trumpted by an elf, *sighs* or are you an elf kiler? either way =p
hmm i guess i gotta move on to more realistic markets
videogames and music
the lattest from wiz hard entertainment! ^_^
its avariss is DOOMed! fight your way through hell on earth! bridgeway as a fur! armed with the bfb and the sos tear up the streets and make your way up the avariss building to kill the devil himself
or if stratagys your thing we have Sim furriston (make furriston bigger then brigton and overthrow it) and
"command and conker" (you are a foul squirl in command of the human hater army, or fomhault plebe, wither way lead your troops into battle!)
mega-ani-man?
supper cotton bros? no that wouldnt work, furtris? yeah thats the ticket!
and lets not forget the latest songs
I.C.P avariss aint nothin but a (censored)
eminem (im, just mikey avariss)
N*sync (and thats why our boyfriend is mike)
britney spears (monkopuff hit avariss one more time)
and MUCH MUCH MORE! *insert huge grin*
to order send check or money order to 3489 dickerson rd. 48767.supplys are limited some restrictions apply void were prohibbited hey look over there its brad pit.

Mothspiral · Post by **Mothspiral** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:49 am

On 2002-03-26 02:06, cryoblade wrote:
ARGH! for all my marketing expertise, i am once again trumpted by an elf, *sighs* or are you an elf kiler? either way =p

I think that's "eleven." As in the number.

UncleMonty · Post by **UncleMonty** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 7:39 pm

I was going to market Avariss vacuum cleaners, but the local advertisers refuse to carry my "Avariss really S**KS!" ads.

Sigh.. Back to the drawing board.

Elevenbane · Post by **Elevenbane** » Wed Mar 27, 2002 12:07 am

On 2002-03-26 08:49, mothspiral wrote:
On 2002-03-26 02:06, cryoblade wrote:
ARGH! for all my marketing expertise, i am once again trumpted by an elf, *sighs* or are you an elf kiler? either way =p
I think that's "eleven." As in the number.

Yep, that's '11'. Kinda funny how I got the name, I went to a hearts card game zone at around 10 with a nick of my favorite novel, Elvenbane. Well, it should suffice to say that I happened across the ministrations of the pun demon and the new name 11-bane kinda stuck...

Fetch26291 · Post by **Fetch26291** » Wed Mar 27, 2002 12:05 pm

On 2002-03-26 02:06, cryoblade wrote:

to order send check or money order to 3489 dickerson rd. 48767.supplys are limited some restrictions apply void were prohibbited

Cryoblade, thanks to this website: http://www.semaphorecorp.com/cgi/form.html
I was able to find where that zipcode is for, and from that, find out that this is a real address.

3489 W Dickerson Rd
Unionville MI 48767

Is this your address, Cryo?

Cryoblade · Post by **Cryoblade** » Thu Mar 28, 2002 4:19 am

............ that depends, did you want to place an order? ^.^;;

Cryoblade · Post by **Cryoblade** » Mon Apr 15, 2002 4:37 pm

................ no, that is NOT my adress, just a coincidence im sure, and uh, im sure that person would apreciate a donation anyweay, *cough*