Comic Genesis Forums

Yeah. I decided to make another one of these since the other one is..dead and I liked the concept but never had a chance to jump in . So, here it is again. With the same rules the last one had. Except I want to add that if you just want to make a comment without being reviewed post in parenthesis, (like this).

I didn't want to continue off the other thread, so here's a random review. I've never really reviewed something before...:


Toy Division by Mimo

Art:
What can say? The art's really good and it goes well with what you're trying to do. I like the contradictory innocence of it (especially with Pepsi von Hellswine, he's such a naughty boy). Another plus is that it's very clean, I like that. There's no color-bleeding...or at least I haven't seen any. There's not really a flaw I can find anywhere ^^;. Except for the big eyes...those can get mesmorizing. (No, truthfully, I like them).

Writting:
For the most part, TD is very funny, found myself laughing multiple times. Problem is, there are some comics that have me going "Wha...?". Like this one. I don't know, I've read it over and over and still don't understand ^^;. Perhaps it could just be me though.
Another thing (this doesn't really have anything to do with the writting) is I'd like to see more updates instead of filler art. You're comics are really good, and I'd like to see them more.

Site:
For the most part, your site is very clean and easy to navigate. It has simple colors and no clutter. There are some like problems though. When I try to go to your first comic, nothing shows up and when you click on "Today's Comic" it goes to the Warning page. Also, when going to your cast page and the links there, there isn't a like back to the homepage so one has to click the back button a few times to get there, which can be kind of annoying.

Overall:
All in all, this is a really good comic. Keep it up, I'm a huge fan!
4.5/5

[Jumps in...]

Noir et Compagnie

Art:
Well, like a lot of webcomics it uses an anime/manga-esque style. The characters are simply drawn and a bit on the rough side sometimes. Anatomy could definitely use some work. Also the word balloons and dialogue aren't very well done...they appear to be drawn with the brush/pencil tool in the image editing program the artist uses.

That said, it isn't all bad...the comic's nice and colourful, and the artist is fairly good at conveying emotions. The art also has a certain amount of charm even if it is rough at times.

Writing:
The basic set-up is hardly anything ground breaking...basically we have the somewhat withdrawn main female character who acts as the voice of reason for all her wacky friends. This has been done in other comics and most of the characters take the form of popular stereotypes.

It's also quite difficult to get a feel for what the comic's all about early on in the archives...you almost feel as if there should be comics before the first comic that you missed. Basically when reading the first dozen strips or so I kept feeling like..."what's going on here? Who are these characters?". Eventually as you keep reading you start to get more familiar with the characters and the feel of the comic...but early on you're just kind of dropped into the middle of the comic and it's characters without much explanation.

As for the jokes, well...a lot of them are kinda' cheesy. In fact most of them are.

Things aren't all bad though. The main character is fairly likeable, and I also like the strange slutty mom...one of the more original characters in the cast. The dialogue is also generally fairly well written and the comics do have somewhat of a cute/charming appeal to them.

Site:
Solid design with all the regular features and whatnot. The navigation buttons are kinda' ugly though.

Overall:
Well, the art is kind of simple/rough, the premise isn't very original, the characters can be stereotypical and the jokes can be cheesy. At the same time though, it's nice and colourful, the dialogue and storytelling is solid, the main character is likeable and it has a certain amount of cuteness and charm going for it.

As the comic stands now, it doesn't knock my socks off...but at the same time it does show some promise and reading through the archives was a moderately entertaining ride.

2.5 out of 5

(Wow, I didn't expect that much feedback. Thanks a lot, I'll see what I can work on, though I'm not too sure where to start . I'll keep your suggestions in mind.)

nicotine wrote:Problem is, there are some comics that have me going "Wha...?". Like this one. I don't know, I've read it over and over and still don't understand ^^

(Took me a while to get that one too but I think I get it. He's in a relationship with someone and the relationship is so simple that he doesn't even know the most basic words in her language. Then the ending is him realizing that she said "no" to his question which is very bad to him. So we have to imagine what his question could've been. So mostly the joke is that he's in an involved relationship with someone even though he doesn't know how to communicate with her at all =/

And I'm staying outta this, not looking for a review right now cuz I'm making some big changes soon =/)

place holder for jackhass' comic

LibertyCabbage wrote:

nicotine wrote:Problem is, there are some comics that have me going "Wha...?". Like this one. I don't know, I've read it over and over and still don't understand ^^

(Took me a while to get that one too but I think I get it. He's in a relationship with someone and the relationship is so simple that he doesn't even know the most basic words in her language. Then the ending is him realizing that she said "no" to his question which is very bad to him. So we have to imagine what his question could've been. So mostly the joke is that he's in an involved relationship with someone even though he doesn't know how to communicate with her at all =/

Oh man! I totally missed the mark with thast one (BTW Uschi is a Swiss girl, not Russian) I always was lukewarm about that comic.

Pepsi did something in Russia, or to a Russian that was the opposite of what he was meant to (thinking that no means yes). I should have included a flashback or something.

Thank you for the lovely review Nicotine! My head is so big now that I'm in danger of tipping over. I seriously need to fix up those navigation issues (actually I've been thinking about a site makeover, I'm sick of hot pink). I'm really pleased about what you said about the writing because that is the hardest part of making a comic for me.

p.s It cracks me up that you said my artwork was "clean" nice choice of words.



*NOT IN REVIEW QUEUE*

Ok, I call dibs on "Toy Division".


Just kidding.

Placeholder for...um... "People I Hate" or whatever is next in queque.

Also...I'm making the <a href=http://forums.comicgenesis.com/viewtopi ... Discussion thread</a> for Webcomic Above, so that this thread doesn't get all tangled up again.

Edit: YAY I can review now

People I Hate:

First impression: A short trip through the wayback machine. My brother, after tiring of the stupid-fighting-card game-of-the-month, scanned in several cards from the latest deck/whatever, doctored in Megaman sprites, typed in impossible hit values (think nines. LOTS of nines. Several commas, but lots and lots of nines) printed them out and taped them to the cheapest, dumbest card in his deck. That's what People I Hate reminds me of, though the People I Hate game is much more amusing than Yu-Gi-Oh or Poke'mon ever could be.

Writing: Simple concept. Take the examples of mass human stupidity, compress them into one or two sentances of discription, add a picture and lay the whole thing out like a Yu-Gi-Oh card. The writing involved is the deceptively simplistic discription and the biting commentary below each "card". This is one of those things that would be VERY easy to screw up, but every card is humorusly sarcastic, scathing, and pretty applicable to every single group. EVERYBODY knows someone that would fit on a "People I Hate" card. The only downside to it is the feeling that the writer has NO sympathy for anyone in one of these groups, but hey, most entertainers offer the same sort of tongue-lashing to groups they don't agree with. The cards and commentary by themselves would rarely make someone laugh out loud, but an hour or so of "People I Hate" will have the cumulative effect of making you giggle constantly for the last fifteen minutes.

Art: Again, very simple. Every single "page" is intended as a playing card in the Yu-Gi-Oh, Poke'mon format. Squiggly, nutral background, title, picture, text. The only thing that isn't copy-paste (with the exception of the text) is the square picture in the center of the cards. These usually consist of photographs of something that fits the subject of the card (such as a Pyramid for the "<a href=http://peopleihate.keenspace.com/d/20050909.html>Work from Home</a>" card) or colored pencil drawings. The colored pencil drawings unfortunately stand out quite a bit. They're undetailed, with lots of white backgrounds and what looks suspeciously like wrinkles in the paper they were drawn on. The contrast between the dark background of the cards and that oh-so-white paper is jarring, and sometimes the drawings themselves look very spur-of-the-moment messy. However, "People I Hate" would be an enjoyable experaince if the pictures were stickfigures.

Website:...unfortunately, this is where "People I Hate" has problems. It's a bad site. In IE, it's not just green, it's GREEN, a flat green background that makes my eyes feel streigned after a few minutes. In Firefox, the background is white, which makes it that much worse. The purpose of a website should be to present content to the reader in order of importance, nice, neat, organized and readable. "People I Hate" reminds me of a party tray after the party's been at it for a few hours...everything's all over the place. The front page is a messy jumble that makes me feel like it hit me in the face. The archive pages are better, with everything put in a readable order, straight down the left hand side of the page...but with the right side totally unused, the pages feel unbalanced. The yellow text is also a bit eye-scarring.

All in All: Fantastic concept with deceptively simple writing, a good read for a few hours and worth following afterwards, but with a hideous site that's probably off-putting to new readers. A good HTML overhaul and perhaps a bit more attention to detail in the colored pencil drawings, and "People I Hate" would defenately be a first class read. As it is, it's a close second, which considering the rest of the stuff out there, is not that bad at all.

CW

Placeholder for Blue Skunk. Should be able to get a critique in in...an hour?

Edit:

mcDuffies wrote:No need to hurry, BK, it seems like the system works better when people wait for review above to be posted.

Ah okay.

[Edit 2:

Review for Blue Skunk

For the most part, I'll be talking about Chapter Two of Blue Skunk seeing as how with each chapter, you make significant changes and improvements to the comic.

Art-wise, Blue Skunk has very beautiful colouring. There's an almost painterly quality to your work and it's really what attracts me to your comic. I've seen you around at other communities and I've always been a bit curious about it primarily due to your colouring.

However, there are some anatomy issues issues in Blue Skunk. It's not consistent either...if that makes sense. For example, let's take a look at this page. In the second panel, Lucy has really broad shoulders with breasts that hang a bit low. They almost seem to spill out of her top in fact. Her body seems to be turned at an angle yet her legs seem to face the viewer head on. However, if you look at the third panel, her body structure is different. Head's bigger, shoulders less broad. Her body is also facing the viewer head on now although she could very well have shifted during the time inbetween the two panels.

In general, your characters can be kind of stiff sometimes. Sometimes I get the feeling they're striking poses even. Regardless, sometimes it just doesn't seem very natural.

Another issues that came up while I was reading your comic are the night scenes. I understand that it's very dark, probably very hard to see and that you may be trying to be realistic about the scene itself. So I understand that it's suppose to be that way.

But sometimes, it takes me a while to figure out what's being depicted. And sometimes, I don't even know what's going on. It took me two readings to figure out that there was a gun pointed at her for example. I know you mentioned it in your comments but during my first reading, I ignored all the comments and focused primarily on the comic itself. It's only during the second round of reading did I read what you wrote below (and really, that's what clued me in about the gun.)

I don't want to give the impression that your comic's art is bad because it isn't. It's a lot richer than some of the other comics out there that I've seen. But I think it can also be greatly improved upon.

In regards to your writing, I think the story is pretty interesting. You have some interesting elements in the plot such as why that terrorist is still alive or who that boy is. But I don't feel I'm getting the full grasp of what the comic's really about (unless it's suppose to be short stories united by one common character and theme.) I'm quite curious about the world of Blue Skunk as it seems very different from the real world.

One of the things however that made it necessary for me to read your comic twice was speech bubble placement. Sometimes I would be reading speech bubbles out of the intended order (or at least I think it's the intended order.) For example, in this page my first thought was to read it in this order:

Lucy: STOP!
Lucy: We're standing in front of a wall.
Mir: Why?

Which leads me to think that Mir is asking why there's a wall. But if I go to the next page, I will realize that she's not asking why there's a wall. She's asking why Lucy said stop.

Speaking of that page, you also seem to misspell the word "field" consistently. This page uses that word the most and they were all misspelled. (It's also "Star Trek" not "star treck." Sorry if I'm being a bit anal.)

Here's another example on the speech bubble placement. If you take a look at the second and third panel, my first impression was to read it in this order:

Mir: Yes?
Captain: Pardon me, senora, but we are coming up on the landing.
Mir: We're fine. We don't need a guide.
Captain: You are sure?
Mir: Very. Bye bye now.
Captain: I wanted to offer my brother again. It's a big jungle and...

Most people that I know of generally read all the speech bubbles that are in one panel then move on to the next panel. They don't jump back and forth between panels. The only exception is when the speech bubbles are close enough together that the eye naturally follow the flow of words. But in this case, the captain's (or whoever he may be) part about his brother is all the way on the other side of another panel. The eye would not naturally jump to that then to Mir's comment about being fine, even if the captain's speech bubble is elevated higher than Mir's.

I hope I'm not being too harsh as that's not really my intention. There were times when I sincerely was at loss as to what's happening and would have to stare/read the page again and again to understand. But I don't think it's a bad comic. Rather, it's a comic that looks like it had a lot of hard work and thought put into it. I feel like I'm catching this comic's story at the beginning and that I'm not quite getting the real meat of it yet.

Hope what I've said helps.

No need to hurry, BK, it seems like the system works better when people wait for review above to be posted.

placeholder for Random Thoughts. Will be done probably on Monday, I'll PM you when it's ready.

>Net

Edit: Done.

Review of Random Thoughts

Website and initial impression

Hrm. The website, in and of itself, is HOSED. Info section, Fanart and Links pull up a 404 error, the FORUM goes to the generic Hello/goodbye forum for Drunk Duck, and the link for MoreWorks just plain doesn't exist.

Broken images on the bottom of the front page, and while looking through the archives, only the first 3 comics worked. Then, there were about 10 pages or so of nothing but [comic_link] where the comic should be.

Artwork

Chibi artwork, for the subject matter, is probably fine, so no arguments there. However, after getting used to the artwork and seeing something like THIS:

http://www.drunkduck.com/Random_Thought ... p?i=239325
and THIS
http://www.nightgig.com/am/art/image/te ... _final.png

... I want to see you draw a comic like those pictures. I'll bet you could do a damn fine serial comic.

Writing

... I am not really a fan of totally randomness, which is what this pretty much is. Of course, that's the name of the darn thing, so it's not like I didn't know what to expect.

I wasn't really fond of most of the jokes. A few here and there got a chuckle out of me, but maybe I'm just too old... dunno. It just really wasn't my cup of tea, sorry.

Overall

Well, I'm not going to lie to you; I didn't like it. It's not my flavor of comic at all, and having all those problems with the website didn't help my impression at all (I'm anal retentative, and a fully-functioning website is kinda a sore point of mine).

I would definitely like to see what you could do with a serial storyline. Some of the pieces of artwork you had hidden here and there were tantalizing good...

But Random Thoughts just wasn't my kind of comic. Sorry!

>Net

Okay, let's get this show on the road...

TALES OF THE TRAVELLING GNOME

Artwork: I'd say the artwork is bloody top notch. I can't think of a higher superlative than that, to be honest. It's detailed, clean, precise, colourful...yeah, top notch.

We're not fit to lick her boots.


Writing: I'm gonna rip into this, because there's bugger all I can rip into in regards to the artwork. The comic is only fourteen pages in so far, as it updates fortnightly where possible, but the extent of the artwork makes up for that. So the story isn't too far progressed just yet. It's your standard sort of high adventure dungeons and dragons themed work, and at this stage the premise is fairly predictable. A party of adventurers are checking out some dank old crone's castle hideaway in pursuit of some fancy heirloom. There's been a bit of a battle, and a bunch of the characters seem to have either karked it early or buggered off.

At times the writing seems a little too dungeons and dragons generic, especially when first telling the reader about 'our warriors, our thief, our healer...' etc. They just felt a little to cliched in terms of labels for me.

Also, the second page, being a recount of a hobgoblin's words to the characters, at times seemed a little too stereotypically pidgeon English in places.

That said, it's only very early in the story, and that's about all I can whinge about in regards to the writing. The rest is pretty impressive all round. Two little grumbles in an otherwise bloody impressive beginning.


Site: The artwork surrounding the site is, again, top notch. I get the impression of it being part of a leather bound tome in some respects. I'm not sure if the title bar is supposed to be centred or not, so that could be a coding error, and from some pages, clicking on a link opens up the next page in a frame inside. I don't think that's entirely intended either.

As for extras, there are galleries with impressive official art, and character bios with great sketches of the characters involved...including the ones that at this stage started the story dead. I'm assuming (but don't take this as gospel) that they play a part later in the story in some fashion.

Overall:

Bloody top notch. A few bits that sat awkwardly with me, but far more to balance anything like that out. For reading, you may want to check it out every month or so so you've got a few pages to read, otherwise you may lose sight of the story with so long between updates, but beside that, well worth a look.

Did I mention it was top notch?

Cheers.

Just finished Zoology.

Storyline: Animals at a zoo, and how they go about life.

First impression: It'd be perfect for syndication. Nice clean lines, but still with nice artistic touches (varying line thicknesses, background shades, etc.) that are subtle yet add to the piece.

Writing: Awesome. A few of the jokes were mistimed or miswritten (i.e. when Angsty got hit by the sub, I didn't think he needed to say anything, just have the crossing sign next to him), but for the most part its VERY funny. The dialogue is easy to follow, and is realistically written. I was laughing aloud at many of the strips.

Artwork: Very simple, but with enough personality to make it very endearing. Like I said, I could easily see this being reprinted in a newspaper or any other mass media.

Website: Simple layout, from top to bottom there is a title banner, the comic, comments from the author, and links to subpages. Easy to navigate and easy on the eyes.

Advice: Every now and then a pose or drawing will look a bit forced or awkward. I would suggest doing practice sketches or studying life drawings to get certain things like joints or foreshadowing. This is a tiny blemish however, and I only really noticed it because I was looking for something bad to comment on.
The sheep (if you said his name I missed it) looks very familiar, is he an original design or were you inspired by something else? I remember reading the first few strips when you first came here, so I may just be remembering that.

Overall: A damn fine comic. It's in my favorites now.









also, Dutch! is next in line, so someone hurry and review him.

When you throw down a placeholder, you're supposed to EDIT that placeholder later with your review instead of posting again.

(As always both of my comics are available - HNTRAC kinda isn't)



<a href="http://schoolspirit.comicgenesis.com/">School Spirit:</a>

By Dutch

Summary: It's a story about a group of grade-school kids in Austrialia, and the wacky school that they go to. There's an obvious signifigance to the title that I won't spoil here.

Now, the breakdown:

Art: SS is drawn in a fairly simplistic albeit distinctive style. The most immediately recognizeable part about it is that everyone has huge ears. The first part of the archives are in black and white, but the look of the strip progresses significantly once the strip moves to being colour all the time. Many of the larger comics (specials) are a treat visually. The art isn't terribly complicated, but it works well for the strip and keeps things fresh.

Writing: The writing in SS is fairly good, although they do have a tendancy to reuse jokes (and bad puns) a few too many times. This may or may not bother you depending on your pun tolerance. My favorite strips are <a href= "http://schoolspirit.comicgenesis.com/d/ ... html">this one</a> and <a href="http://schoolspirit.comicgenesis.com/d/ ... html">this one</a>, both of which are departures from the usual "set-up, bad pun" style of SS.

Characters: The same kind of motley crew you find in most school strips: there's the nerd, the assertive girl, the girl who every guy has a crush on, the tough guy, etc. The two main characters are both kind of straight men (which coupled with the fact that they look similar makes telling them apart in the early strips somewhat hard), although it later becomes obvious that Cody is a bit more of a mischevious hothead than Casper is. The teachers of the school and the bus driver are also appropriately zany. The characters that set this strip apart from other school strips are the ones I can't really talk about (without spoiling the first plotline), but they certainly liven up the story.

Site design: The site design is fairly good, with a consistant theme and a nice background. There are some useful features to the site (like a page that explains what the Austrialian terms mean, too bad the button's name doesn't really tell you what it is). Also, you get reams of commentary for every episode. After a while I stopped reading through all of these (it gets to be a bit much), but there's plenty of extra material for those who seek it.

Overall Rating: 4 / 5
School Spirit is an interesting read and it's certainly getting better as time goes on. It doesn't strike me as particularly hilarious, but it held my attention long enough to read the archives. If you want to get the most out of the strip, read the "Strine" page first.

Review of philosophy bites

Premise: High school students go to school and do high school like stuff in this mostly gag comic.
Art: Art is what you'd expect from a gag comic, mostly simple with the occasional background. Though similar, the characters have enough feature distinctions that they won't be confused for one another. While the artist has improved his tools and artwork, the art doesn't feel like it's progressed enough for a comic that has been around as long as it has.
Story: The story of 3 at first and later 4 high school students has the depth of most gag comics with both one shot strips and short sets of related strips. Everything is done in a nice light way, even the bits of romance. Through the related strips the humor stays strong, but occasionally the pacing gets off.
Site: Simple and easy to navigate, all the buttons are nicely labeled.

Overall: And enjoyable read if you have time, and if you don't have time you can jump right in almost anywhere and have a good laugh.

No I don't give numbers, I don't find them too helpful.

(Updated my post with a review for Blue Skunk. Also, I wanted to respond to the review given to me by Netpoet and decided to do it here. Not sure if I was suppose to but...aw well.

First of all, thanks for the review. I should probably take down the links on the site but currently DrunkDuck is undergoing maintenance so I can't edit my layout. I'm not even sure if I should bother since it's questionable when I would update again. The thing about those sections of the site was that a long while back, I had my own chunk of webspace on DrunkDuck (hence the ~randomthoughts part of the URL) and that was where everything was stored. I forgot what happened but DD went down and took that chunk of webspace with it.

I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I'm not really. Just explaining why I have broken links everywhere.

And I'm glad you like those two pictures. Interesting thing about those two sketches...they were actually sketches for comic ideas I had in mind. TempAlice was a sketch that later morphed into Wanderlands and that one with the two kids and a vulture was for another idea that later just died. I'm hoping to eventually start a less cutsy comic though but time is always a big issue.

While I'm sorry to hear that RT isn't your cup of tea, I'm glad for the review. So thanks!)

Random thoughts about Random Thoughts

You have a very unique and likable drawing style here. It's not quite Manga or Hello Kitty, but it's very cute and energetic. You characters have a real personal and somehow I can see them all in the form of a keychain hanging from the back of a college girl's backpack. Your style is very well developed, the characters very nicely designed, and you do quite well using black and gray shapes with lines in your drawings to create the kind of controlled energy that I like to see in a comic. The characters are nicely stylized as well! This is easily my favorite part of your comic.

Unfortunately, your cast of characters seems to shift around so often and so randomly that it's hard to keep track of anyone other than the dizzy-eyed cat-girl. None of the characters seem to have distinct personalities other than the antagonistic prof or psychiatrist who shows up to butt heads with the lead characters of hat particular strip. The writing seems to be in a daily-gag format, and the topic have a real off-the-cuff feel to them. It feels as if you could be drawing about things that happened to you that very day (which I expect, in many cases, you are). I'm afraid the flow is almost constantly interrupted with "sorry no comic today" comics, random sketches, and then frequent breaking of the fourth wall that interrupts the reader's thought. You have some very funny, enjoyable real-life experiences here--the brain comic out of one girl's skull, the rampaging mob at the candy store on Valentine's Day, he mob of student protesters who are there for the free food are very enjoyable, real-world situations. I tend to enjoy these much more often than "random" humor.

My recommendation: limit your cast to a few recognizable characters and use them routinely and develop their personalities. And if you can't draw a comic for one day, take it out of your archives later so it doesn't interrupt your flow of comic.

But again, love the style. It's something I will want to come back and study later.

...

I think this is where someone posts a placeholder for me and then dies of old age reading through my archives.

(My comic was already reviewed actually, not that I don't want another one mind you. Just that I'm not next.

Are we allowed to go twice? I don't mind reviewing someone else's comic if it means getting another critique.)

(Edit:

Because it's partly my fault that Nob the Blob isn't being reviewed, I'll take it if nobody else wants to. But I'm kinda busy with school stuff so give me some time okay? I'll have it up ASAP.)

Oops! Too late, I already reviewed you. If I had been paying closer attention I would have reviewed Nob the Blob instead. Anyhow, I think discussions of this thread is supposed to go here, and you should only post if you are both giving a review and willing to be reviewed.

And anyone who wants to give Cortland a look over, feel free just to skim a couple weeks. I know it's already quite the tedious read.

Placeholder for teh cortland!