'Tis the Season

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 6:44 pm

Ah yes, 'cause we're all afraid of being offended.

WELL SCREW YOU ALL!

er...not you guys...I mean, those guys over there.

figuratively.

...

just go back to talking...I'll sit here quietly.

JexKerome · Post by **JexKerome** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 7:31 pm

Luprand wrote: I can't wait until that's what everyone's required to call it.

--Sij

Only in America, Luprand.

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 7:35 pm

Don't get too smug. We export all our crappy ideas. You'll be seeing it soon in ALL your countries people! Feel the power of our oppressive tip-toeing!

BOMC · Post by **BOMC** » Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:55 am

My theatre prof sang "Have yourself a merry december holiday of your choice" on the last day of classes. it was cool.

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Fri Dec 10, 2004 8:03 am

Happy december! (Lowercase d to avoid offending the other months.)

JexKerome · Post by **JexKerome** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:08 am

Yet you offended "Merry". You just can't win, Warren. Expect to be sued within the next few weeks, as "Merry" claims your actions have given it Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome.

The Neko · Post by **The Neko** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:28 am

I used to call it "Happy Half-Assed Culturally Collectivistic Non-Denominational Politically Correct Festivity Nightmare Month".

Then again, I call Thanksgiving "Manifest Destiny Remembrance Day".

Mooman · Post by **Mooman** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:29 am

I call it Xmas, cause then I offend everybody.

...but not as much as if I called it 'Testicle Party'...

Hmmmm...

Faceless · Post by **Faceless** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 6:34 am

I suggest that from now on we refer to all of the holidays in December collectively as "Turkey Month."

BOMC · Post by **BOMC** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 6:54 am

Faceless wrote:I suggest that from now on we refer to all of the holidays in December collectively as "Turkey Month."

But then you are offending the vegetarians....

LAGtheNoggin · Post by **LAGtheNoggin** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 6:57 am

Mooman wrote:I call it Xmas, cause then I offend everybody.

The X in Xmas is the Greek character for 'Chi' (hard c), it's a shorthand that's been used for near two thousand years.

People who take offence to ze X are silly. Unless they don't like Christ, in which case the offence is understandable.

Jim North · Post by **Jim North** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:40 am

BOMC wrote:
Faceless wrote:I suggest that from now on we refer to all of the holidays in December collectively as "Turkey Month."
But then you are offending the vegetarians....

Nah, turkey hasn't been real meat for decades. It's all complex vat-grown chemical compounds that's been fashioned into the shape of a turkey now.

BOMC · Post by **BOMC** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:54 am

Jim North wrote:
BOMC wrote:
Faceless wrote:I suggest that from now on we refer to all of the holidays in December collectively as "Turkey Month."
But then you are offending the vegetarians....
Nah, turkey hasn't been real meat for decades. It's all complex vat-grown chemical compounds that's been fashioned into the shape of a turkey now.

Fashioned by professional turkey sculptors?

Vorticus · Post by **Vorticus** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 8:09 am

BOMC wrote:
Jim North wrote:
BOMC wrote: But then you are offending the vegetarians....
Nah, turkey hasn't been real meat for decades. It's all complex vat-grown chemical compounds that's been fashioned into the shape of a turkey now.
Fashioned by professional turkey sculptors?

Of course. I had an uncle who used to to that for a living. Took him all year to sculpt all the turkeys for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Jim North · Post by **Jim North** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 8:10 am

Of course . . . they used to use basic molds, but people complained because all the turkeys looked exactly the same. Now they're individually hand-crafted for that unique holiday experience.

Tim · Post by **Tim** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 8:13 am

BOMC wrote:
Jim North wrote:
BOMC wrote: But then you are offending the vegetarians....
Nah, turkey hasn't been real meat for decades. It's all complex vat-grown chemical compounds that's been fashioned into the shape of a turkey now.
Fashioned by professional turkey sculptors?

"Zat is de rarest turkey of zem all: de turkey Venus de Milo. Carved by turkey artisans who work exclusively in ze medium of turkey."
"Will you stop saying 'turkey' so much?"

Locster · Post by **Locster** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 9:38 am

whoohoo a turnkey turkey

KathleenJ · Post by **KathleenJ** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 10:46 am

Semirelated to this turkey tangent: I have heard that you can purchase Tofurkey that's sculpted into the shape of a traditional roast turkey, complete with drumsticks and little plastic bones.

I think this is just twisted enough to be awesome.

TheLoserHero · Post by **TheLoserHero** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 11:42 am

I'll have miso with my Tofurkey, please!

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:24 pm

screw that! I want something that used to be breathing!