What bit of insanity has been brought to you today?

Slainman v2.0 · Post by **Slainman v2.0** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 6:18 pm

Early in the morning, late at night,
A red truck painted green,
Ran over a dead cat and almost killed it.

Ratbert · Post by **Ratbert** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 6:31 pm

Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air
About an age of power no one had an hour to spare,
Where the seeds have withered, silent children shivered, in the cold
Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

Suffering in silence, they've all been betrayed.
They hurt them and they beat them, in a terrible way.
Praying for survival at the end of the day.
There is no compassion for those who stay.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there

There must be someone who can set them free:
To take thier sorrow from this odysey
To help the helpless and the refugee
To protect what's left of humanity.
Can't you see
Can't you see
Can't you see.

I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there;
To heal their sorrow
To beg and borrow
Fight tomorrow.

Step inside! Hello! We've a most amazing show
You'll enjoy it all we know
Step inside! Step inside!

We've got thrills and shocks, supersonic fighting cocks.
Leave your hammers at the box
Come inside! Come inside!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Left behind the bars, rows of Bishop's heads in jars
and a bomb inside a car
Spectacular! Spectacular!

If you follow me there's a speciality
some tears for you to see
Misery, misery,
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Next upon the bill in our House of Vaudeville
We've a stripper in a till
What a thrill! What a thrill!
And not content with that, with our hands behind our backs,
We pull Jesus from a hat,
Get into that! Get into that!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside
There behind a glass stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass,.move along, move along

Come inside, the show's about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll, oh

Right before your eyes see the laughter from the skies
And he laughs until he cries, then he dies, then he dies

Come inside, the show's about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll, oh

Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of vaseline
Will perform on guillotine, what a scene, what a scene
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
To Alexander's Ragtime Band, Dixieland, Dixieland

Roll up, roll up, roll up
See the show

Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
Seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
Were exclusively our own, all our own, all our own

Come and see the show, come and see the show
Come and see the show
See the show

(8 minute piano interlude)

Man alone; born of stone;
Will stamp the dust of time
His hands strike the flame of his soul;
Ties a rope to a tree and hangs the Universe
Until the winds of laughter blows cold.

Fear that rattles in men's ears
And rears it's hideous head
Dread .... Death .... in the wind ....

Man of steel pray and kneel
With fever's blazing torch
Thrust in the face of the night;
Draws a blade if compassion
Kissed by countless Kings
Whose jewelled trumpet words blind his sight.

Walls that no man thought would fall
The altars of the just
Crushed .... Dust .... in the wind ....

No man yields who flies in my ship
DANGER!
Let the bridge computer speak
STRANGER!
LOAD YOUR PROGRAM. I AM YOURSELF.

No computer stands in my way
Only blood can cancel my pain
Guardians of a new clear dawn
Let the maps of war be drawn.

Rejoice! Glory is ours!
Our young men have not died in vain,
Their graves need no flowers
The tapes have recorded their names.

I am all there is
NEGATIVE! PRIMITIVE! LIMITED! I LET YOU LIVE!
But I gave you life
WHAT ELSE COULD YOU DO?
To do what was right
I'M PERFECT! ARE YOU?

Bright spark · Post by **Bright spark** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 6:32 pm

Luprand · Post by **Luprand** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 6:51 pm

"Well, I'm certainly confused."

"And I want to attack people randomly!"

--Sij

Hobolenno · Post by **Hobolenno** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:00 pm

You and I in a little toy shop
buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
'Til one by one, they were gone
Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message, "Something's out there"
Floating in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by.

99 red balloons floating in the summer sky
Panic bells, it's red alert
There's something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky
As 99 red balloons go by.

99 Decision Street, 99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super-scurry
Call out the troops now in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by.

99 Kriegsminister
Streichholz und Benzinkanister
Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
Mann, wer haette das gedacht
Dass es einmal soweit kommt
Wegen 99 Luftballons

99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standin' pretty
In the dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenier
Just to prove the world was here...
And here it is, a red balloon
I think of you and let it go...

Bright spark · Post by **Bright spark** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:04 pm

Now sing it all in German.

Hobolenno · Post by **Hobolenno** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:09 pm

Sie und I in einem kleinen Spielzeuggesch

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:43 pm

Matt Lim Matt Lim
We should all follow him
We should all dance with him
Matt Lim Matt Lim

DGC · Post by **DGC** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:31 pm

the cat.
sat on.
the mat.

Bright spark · Post by **Bright spark** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:36 pm

talk of red balloons
and of a guy named Matt Lim
These rhymes make no sense

Haiku power

Kensou X · Post by **Kensou X** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:20 am

Insanity is like a giant pepper steak bringing joy and happyness to all the times you dance like a gromit.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:48 am

The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind and he was willin' to make a deal.

When he came across this young man sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot.
And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Boy let me tell ya what."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player, too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you play pretty good fiddle boy, but give the devil his due,
I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My names Johnny, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet - your gonna regret 'cause i'm the best that's ever been!"

Johnny rosin up your bow an' play your fiddle hard
'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia an' the devil deals the cards.
And if you win you'll get this shiny fiddle made of gold, but if you lose the devil gets your soul!

The devil opened up his case, and he said "I'll start this show,"
And fire flew from his finger tips as he rosined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss,
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this:

When the devil finished Johnny said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
"But set right in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done!"

(chorus)
Fire On The Mountain, Run Boys Run! Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun,
The Chicken in the Bread Pan Peckin' Out Dough, Granny Does Your Dog Bite, No Child, No!

The devil bowed his head, 'cause he knew that he'd been beat,
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said, "Devil just come on back if you ever want to try again,
"I done told you once you son of a bitch I'm the best there's ever been!

And he played
Fire On The Mountain, Run Boys Run! Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun,
The Chicken in the Bread Pan Picken Out Dough, Granny Will Your Dog Bite, No Child, No!

Mr.Bob · Post by **Mr.Bob** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:35 am

I personally preferred the devil's fiddlework. It's just pure class... and that background piano rhythm is the capital G of Groovy!

SamSim · Post by **SamSim** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:31 am

...so in the end, we - this is me and Ed - said "to hell with moisture detectors" and built the giant robot instead. We used junk that was lying in the Technology workshop. Old capacitors and CRTs and junk. It was a monster of a machine. It must've been about fifty feet tall. It ran, it jumped, it could fall a thousand feet and take a cruise missile to the chest with no damage. Stayed active for 1000 hours - not like those nancy ones with external power cables - before needing recharging and could be piloted completely by remote control. As for weaponry, well, you were looking at twin chain guns, bazookas, a rapid-fire armour-piercing rocket launcher, tactical nuclear missiles... the whole Christmas family gift set. Oh, and Magnetic Physics loaned us their railgun, which was nice of them.

So we took it to the DOD and said "Hey, look what we've got!" and tried to sell it to them. But they said "yeah, we've got one too" even though we knew they didn't really, and didn't buy it. So we're left with this fifty-foot robot on our hands. The university said they needed the car park back, so we had to put it in Ed's backyard. We were well annoyed, especially Ed.

The alien invasion started later the same day. I am absolutely not kidding. What are the odds? We finished building a huge weapon of mass destruction just at the EXACT same moment that a massive alien army arrives. Second time that year!

As a number of unfortunate aircraft pilots discover, all our "conventional weapons" are totally useless against their "shields", because they "just absorb the energy to make themselves stronger" (yeah, right). So, predictably, a couple of hours later the DOD comes knocking on Ed's door saying "Hey, could we like, borrow your amazing, flying, all-conquering gigantic robotic war machine?" And Ed goes "Use the one you've got" and we laughed in their faces, coz it served them right.

I couldn't help thinking it was a bit unfair of us, to doom mankind just to get back at the black suits. But Ed turns around, reassures me. "It's okay," he says, "I've been practicing Mechwarrior for months." Which is true. He's been playing that game obsessively since before we even starting building the mech. I haven't been watching too closely but I know he's been getting rather obscenely good at it. So when he shows me the keyboard and mouse interface that he's worked out, I figure this could be a pretty interesting week.

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:39 am

I'm stuck in an office with a consulatnt working with Microsoft MOM. It looks like it will be neat, but ugh.

And have I ever mentioned I hate meetings? Today is 8 hours worth.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 8:38 am

Warren wrote:I'm stuck in an office with a consulatnt working with Microsoft MOM. It looks like it will be neat, but ugh.

And have I ever mentioned I hate meetings? Today is 8 hours worth.

Heh.

We could switch jobs, and nobody would notice.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 9:20 am

Mr.Bob wrote:I personally preferred the devil's fiddlework. It's just pure class... and that background piano rhythm is the capital G of Groovy!

Sure thing. Johny's a pansy.

Great song. I just wish I can hear Primus's version, it must be something totally hilarious.

Okie · Post by **Okie** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 9:34 am

The devil went down to Newport town.
He brought his red surf board to race against the Lord.
It was totally rocking.
Satan told his girl, "I'm gonna ride a curl."
He caught a heinous wave and he gave the crowd a wave.
It was totally rocking.
They were surfing for souls to the beat of rock and roll. Alright.
Next came God's turn. He got a wicked sunburn.
He didn't use lotion while he was parting the ocean.
It was totally rocking.

God said to Satan "Dude I'm sick of waiting.
In order to win, Chuck you've got to hang ten."
It was totally rocking.
Thing were looking rad, oh yeah, for the forces of bad. Alright.
Satan went surfing. He didn't need a board.
He could not hang ten. He could only hang four.
Satan had a problem. He could not compete.
Satan was hindered by his cloven feet.
It was totally rocking. Go go Satan go

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 9:53 am

I knew one "Devil went down to Crawford" where he and some telecomunications engineer are competing in programming petri's nets (I don't know what it is).

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:05 am

Some group did a serious response to Devil went Down to Georgia called (I think) Devil Came Back to Georgia. I wish I could remember who did it.