God, I feel stupid.

[Warren]

This week I learned that lots of women shave their feet and toes in addition to their legs. I didn't believe it when I read it online (I guess it never occurred to me) but even asked some female acquaintances of mine if they also shaved their feet/toes.

That wasn't an awkward conversation at all.

[MariaAndMichelle]

How did you manage to work that into conversation?

[Warren]

Well, with one it all started with watching "Harold and Maude" over at my apartment.

Apparently I sometimes hop topics like an ADD Q*bert.

[Sortelli]

I'm a pretty hairy fellow, but all of that hair stops at my ankles.

I've never seen a lady shave their feet either, though, you know, not really spying on that many ladies in their private moments ever since the court case.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

I used to shave my toes when I was in like seventh grade. But there was only ever really hair on the big toe. Eventually I just started forgetting to do it. Nowadays I barely shave my legs even*, it just takes too long, isn't fun, and it isn't unhygienic to just leave it there- I mean, it's not like I don't shower.



*Fun conversation at the doctor, with one of those doctors who you can tell just absolutely thinks you're a hypochondriac idiot and wants you out of there as fast as possible... I was mentioning I thought I had a thyroid issue because certain types of hair loss (like the fact that my eyebrows are suddenly nonexistent on the outer half) are symptomatic of hypothyroidism. I also had some other symptoms.
her: Well... do you get your eyebrows done?
me: (thinking "wtf lady") Uh, no... I mean, I pluck them a bit but not anywhere near this amount.
her: Well you know, when you remove hair so much it usually stops growing back. I mean, you probably noticed that you don't need to shave your legs often anymore, right?
me: Uh, well, I don't really shave them.
her: See, exactly!
me:

NO LADY IT'S NOT BECAUSE THE HAIR JUST STOPPED GROWING BACK IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING CARE

HAIR ONLY STOPS GROWING BACK IN IF YOU LIKE PLUCK IT AND SHIT SHAVING ISN'T GOING TO MAKE IT NOT GROW BACK, ON WHAT PLANET DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE, IF THAT WERE TRUE MEN WOULD STOP HAVING ANY BEARD HAIR BY LIKE AGE 30

I GET THAT YOU THINK I'M DUMB BUT LIKE CAN YOU TRY HARDER TO HIDE IT





Now what I really don't get (and never knew it was a thing people did, until I got to college) is when people shave their arms. Not armpits, but arms. Maybe I'm just weird but I like my arm hair I think I have the hairiest arms of any woman I've ever seen.

Arm hair is beneficial to you, as if you have to shave some other body part, you can use your arm hair to strop the razor by sliding the razor backward (like in an un-shaving motion) in the direction of hair growth. Make your disposable razors last longer! Now you, too, can be seen as a cheapass!

[Warren]

Now what I really don't get (and never knew it was a thing people did, until I got to college) is when people shave their arms. Not armpits, but arms. Maybe I'm just weird but I like my arm hair I think I have the hairiest arms of any woman I've ever seen.

I stayed in a hostel in Seattle and one of the girls working there had hairier armpits than me. When I saw her the next day she had footie pajamas on, too.

God, I really need to move to the west coast.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

Now what I really don't get (and never knew it was a thing people did, until I got to college) is when people shave their arms. Not armpits, but arms. Maybe I'm just weird but I like my arm hair I think I have the hairiest arms of any woman I've ever seen.

I stayed in a hostel in Seattle and one of the girls working there had hairier armpits than me. When I saw her the next day she had footie pajamas on, too.

God, I really need to move to the west coast.

She sounds like a woman with her priorities sorted.

[MariaAndMichelle]

Indeed!

We don't shave unless we plan on wearing skirts/dresses. And even then, if we can wear thick stockings, eff that.

[Warren]

One of my friends made her ex-bf shave his legs, among other things. Not like totally smooth, but she likes 'em pretty trim from what she tells me.

[TheGoobla]

Oh my god you're gullible.

Women don't have hair on their feet what a load of bollocks who told you this.

In fact women don't even have feet that's just basic human biology 101. For humans.

In fact women don't even exist. They're a practical joke we started playing on you that's been going on for so long we're not sure how to tell you and we just feel kind of embarrassed for you at this point.

You credulous buffoon.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

Oh my god you're gullible.

Women don't have hair on their feet what a load of bollocks who told you this.

In fact women don't even have feet that's just basic human biology 101. For humans.

In fact women don't even exist. They're a practical joke we started playing on you that's been going on for so long we're not sure how to tell you and we just feel kind of embarrassed for you at this point.

You credulous buffoon.

You're like a comet that only flings through our solar system every pillion

[MariaAndMichelle]

Goob??

[McDuffies]

girls are icky

[Warren]

I kissed a girl once. It wasn't that icky.

[Cope]

I kissed a girl once.

TRAITOR.

[Warren]

I kissed a girl once.

TRAITOR.

I... was drunk?

SORRY... this is why I wasn't even going to mention it.

[MariaAndMichelle]

Well, so long as you've realized your mistake...

[McDuffies]

Did it taste like cherry chapstick?

[Warren]

I was more disturbed by girls being bumpy in odd places.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

I was more disturbed by girls being bumpy in odd places.

Like the knee