Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Melissa's Christmas party. It was Dennis who spiked the punch with too much pure, sparkling water. I can't help it if I drank 42 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like peppermint.
I thought it was funny when I put Diana's Hospital uniform on my head and danced the Macarena on the Table while singing `"Entry of the Gladiators"'. I didn't mean to break Melissa's Computer and don't know why Melissa would sue me for talking in class.
I don't remember calling Bryan's wife a spiffy mouse---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and puce lipstick!
And when I threw up on Aimee's husband's toe, it was only because I ate too much of that cannoli.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a bizarre NeoPet and have me arrested for talking loudly in class!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all freckled and cramped. And I'm really not to blame for any of this flared stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and loftily yours,
Elliott (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 42 bucks!
--Sij
Have YOU written your letter to Santa yet?
-
Netrek
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 636
- Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2002 2:34 pm
- Location: Under a huge pile of mulch
- Contact:
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-
Netrek
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 636
- Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2002 2:34 pm
- Location: Under a huge pile of mulch
- Contact:
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Melissa's Christmas party. It was Dennis who spiked the punch with too much pure, sparkling water. I can't help it if I drank 42 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like peppermint.
I thought it was funny when I put Diana's Hospital uniform on my head and danced the Macarena on the Table while singing `"Entry of the Gladiators"'. I didn't mean to break Melissa's Computer and don't know why Melissa would sue me for talking in class.
I don't remember calling Bryan's wife a spiffy mouse---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and puce lipstick!
And when I threw up on Aimee's husband's toe, it was only because I ate too much of that cannoli.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a bizarre NeoPet and have me arrested for talking loudly in class!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all freckled and cramped. And I'm really not to blame for any of this flared stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and loftily yours,
Elliott (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 42 bucks!
--Sij
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Melissa's Christmas party. It was Dennis who spiked the punch with too much pure, sparkling water. I can't help it if I drank 42 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like peppermint.
I thought it was funny when I put Diana's Hospital uniform on my head and danced the Macarena on the Table while singing `"Entry of the Gladiators"'. I didn't mean to break Melissa's Computer and don't know why Melissa would sue me for talking in class.
I don't remember calling Bryan's wife a spiffy mouse---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and puce lipstick!
And when I threw up on Aimee's husband's toe, it was only because I ate too much of that cannoli.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a bizarre NeoPet and have me arrested for talking loudly in class!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all freckled and cramped. And I'm really not to blame for any of this flared stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and loftily yours,
Elliott (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 42 bucks!
--Sij
<A HREF="http://netrek.keenspace.com"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="http://netrek.keenspace.com/images/logo.png" HEIGHT="80"></A>
My other links? <A HREF="http://torio.keenspace.com">Backtales from Kenneville</A> :: <A HREF="http://torio.keenspace.com/classact/caindex.htm">Class Act</A> :: <A HREF="http://netrek.keenspace.com/gspace.htm">NEOSpace</A>
My other links? <A HREF="http://torio.keenspace.com">Backtales from Kenneville</A> :: <A HREF="http://torio.keenspace.com/classact/caindex.htm">Class Act</A> :: <A HREF="http://netrek.keenspace.com/gspace.htm">NEOSpace</A>
-
KedaDibandion
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 1128
- Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2002 12:53 am
- Location: Austin, TX
- Contact:
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kate's Christmas party. It was Jake who spiked the punch with too much coffee. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like broccoli.
I thought it was funny when I put Julia's bra on my head and danced the waltz on the lawn chair while singing `Amazing Grace'. I didn't mean to break Kate's mp3 player and don't know why Kate would sue me for armed robbery.
I don't remember calling Ben's wife a wrinkled mule---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Alice's husband's big toe, it was only because I ate too much of that Key Lime pie.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my fire truck through my neighbor's balcony. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sharp piglet and have me arrested for shoplifting!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all heavy and broken. And I'm really not to blame for any of this smelly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and quickly yours,
Kendra (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!
...weird...
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kate's Christmas party. It was Jake who spiked the punch with too much coffee. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like broccoli.
I thought it was funny when I put Julia's bra on my head and danced the waltz on the lawn chair while singing `Amazing Grace'. I didn't mean to break Kate's mp3 player and don't know why Kate would sue me for armed robbery.
I don't remember calling Ben's wife a wrinkled mule---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Alice's husband's big toe, it was only because I ate too much of that Key Lime pie.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my fire truck through my neighbor's balcony. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sharp piglet and have me arrested for shoplifting!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all heavy and broken. And I'm really not to blame for any of this smelly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and quickly yours,
Kendra (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!
...weird...
Something is currently <a href= "http://polygonreports.keenspace.com">HERE</a>.
-
TheWhiner
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 311
- Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2002 6:17 pm
- Location: 7th Circle of Hell, 2nd Pocket
- Contact:
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Marcus's Christmas party. It was Jared who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like bile.
I thought it was funny when I put Paul's - on my head and danced the Two-Step on the Bed while singing `Beautiful People'. I didn't mean to break Marcus's taser and don't know why Marcus would sue me for public ness.
I don't remember calling Jon's wife a disgruntled cow---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and white lipstick!
And when I threw up on Teri's husband's head, it was only because I ate too much of that liver.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Sherman through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a dull monkey and have me arrested for !
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all violent and depressed. And I'm really not to blame for any of this squeaky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and noisely yours,
ChristianX (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 666 bucks!
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Marcus's Christmas party. It was Jared who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like bile.
I thought it was funny when I put Paul's - on my head and danced the Two-Step on the Bed while singing `Beautiful People'. I didn't mean to break Marcus's taser and don't know why Marcus would sue me for public ness.
I don't remember calling Jon's wife a disgruntled cow---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and white lipstick!
And when I threw up on Teri's husband's head, it was only because I ate too much of that liver.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Sherman through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a dull monkey and have me arrested for !
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all violent and depressed. And I'm really not to blame for any of this squeaky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and noisely yours,
ChristianX (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 666 bucks!
[christianX]
Dear Santa,
I have been a good Boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at John Ashcroft's Christmas party. It was Henry Kissinger who spiked the punch with too much Blood of Menstraution. I can't help it if I drank 2 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Butt.
I thought it was funny when I put John Poindexter's Condom on my head and danced the the ritualistic human sacrifice on a stake to the gods of fire! on the Scissors while singing `"Back that ass up"'. I didn't mean to break John Ashcroft's Plug in vibrator and don't know why John Ashcroft would sue me for Raping a panda at the public zoo
.
I don't remember calling Keith Knight's wife a fast Pig---even though she looked like one with brown eye shadow and brownish-green poop color lipstick!
And when I threw up on Lorena Bobbit's husband's Colon, it was only because I ate too much of that Fried human eye.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Pinto through my neighbor's Bondage torture room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slippery Snark and have me arrested for Kicking a police man in the balls!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fat and stupid. And I'm really not to blame for any of this retarded stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and badly yours,
Patach (Really a nice Boy!)
P.S. It's only 17 bucks!
I have been a good Boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at John Ashcroft's Christmas party. It was Henry Kissinger who spiked the punch with too much Blood of Menstraution. I can't help it if I drank 2 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Butt.
I thought it was funny when I put John Poindexter's Condom on my head and danced the the ritualistic human sacrifice on a stake to the gods of fire! on the Scissors while singing `"Back that ass up"'. I didn't mean to break John Ashcroft's Plug in vibrator and don't know why John Ashcroft would sue me for Raping a panda at the public zoo
.I don't remember calling Keith Knight's wife a fast Pig---even though she looked like one with brown eye shadow and brownish-green poop color lipstick!
And when I threw up on Lorena Bobbit's husband's Colon, it was only because I ate too much of that Fried human eye.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Pinto through my neighbor's Bondage torture room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slippery Snark and have me arrested for Kicking a police man in the balls!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fat and stupid. And I'm really not to blame for any of this retarded stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and badly yours,
Patach (Really a nice Boy!)
P.S. It's only 17 bucks!
Is this comic ANTI-AMERICAN? You make the call: <A HREF="http://finaldraft.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>http://finaldraft.keenspace.com, Final Draft</A> (Mature Audiences only)
-
ZOMBIE USER 12015
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:26 am
Shite. between double posts, not being able to post, posts not registering on the thread lists, and posts newly added magically mixed in before others, this whole thing has turned into a serious waste of a good time. 
Last edited by ZOMBIE USER 12015 on Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
ZOMBIE USER 12015
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:26 am
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Quincy Adams's Christmas party. It was Burgess Meredith who spiked the punch with too much 8 Ball. I can't help it if I drank 34 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sweaty hamster.
I thought it was funny when I put Chokeson Dick's mesh thong on my head and danced the horizontal mambo on the bidet while singing `My balls, your chin'. I didn't mean to break Quincy Adams's sheep shearer and don't know why Quincy Adams would sue me for Listening to Boys To Men.
I don't remember calling Vernon's wife a fasterbator quatermaster pickle jar---even though she looked like one with plaid eye shadow and mahogany lipstick!
And when I threw up on Big-ass Slut's husband's index finger, it was only because I ate too much of that jello.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Oversized Neopolean Complex SUV through my neighbor's water closet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a steamy naked mole rat and have me arrested for vandelizing turnips!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all purply and pucky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this ducky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---soft money!
Sincerely and flooded yours,
wreckedhead (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 29 bucks!
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Quincy Adams's Christmas party. It was Burgess Meredith who spiked the punch with too much 8 Ball. I can't help it if I drank 34 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sweaty hamster.
I thought it was funny when I put Chokeson Dick's mesh thong on my head and danced the horizontal mambo on the bidet while singing `My balls, your chin'. I didn't mean to break Quincy Adams's sheep shearer and don't know why Quincy Adams would sue me for Listening to Boys To Men.
I don't remember calling Vernon's wife a fasterbator quatermaster pickle jar---even though she looked like one with plaid eye shadow and mahogany lipstick!
And when I threw up on Big-ass Slut's husband's index finger, it was only because I ate too much of that jello.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Oversized Neopolean Complex SUV through my neighbor's water closet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a steamy naked mole rat and have me arrested for vandelizing turnips!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all purply and pucky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this ducky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---soft money!
Sincerely and flooded yours,
wreckedhead (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 29 bucks!
-
McDuffies
- Bob was here (Moderator)
- Posts: 29957
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
- Location: Serbia
- Contact:
Dear santa,
I believe I haven't been a good boy.
First of all, I don't believe in stupid Santa Claus.
Then, I had a few sins this year although that stupid purity personality-test says different.
They can be forgiven by the fact that I'm actually not a little boy, but that's the third thing why I wasn't good.
But, if, beside that, you can manage to push mcDuffies into a top of popularity among the webcomics, I'd be thankfull.
Srdjan
I believe I haven't been a good boy.
First of all, I don't believe in stupid Santa Claus.
Then, I had a few sins this year although that stupid purity personality-test says different.
They can be forgiven by the fact that I'm actually not a little boy, but that's the third thing why I wasn't good.
But, if, beside that, you can manage to push mcDuffies into a top of popularity among the webcomics, I'd be thankfull.
Srdjan
-
McDuffies
- Bob was here (Moderator)
- Posts: 29957
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
- Location: Serbia
- Contact:
Dear santa,
I believe I haven't been a good boy.
First of all, I don't believe in stupid Santa Claus.
Then, I had a few sins this year although that stupid purity personality-test says different.
They can be forgiven by the fact that I'm actually not a little boy, but that's the third thing why I wasn't good.
But, if, beside that, you can manage to push mcDuffies into a top of popularity among the webcomics, I'd be thankfull.
Srdjan
I believe I haven't been a good boy.
First of all, I don't believe in stupid Santa Claus.
Then, I had a few sins this year although that stupid purity personality-test says different.
They can be forgiven by the fact that I'm actually not a little boy, but that's the third thing why I wasn't good.
But, if, beside that, you can manage to push mcDuffies into a top of popularity among the webcomics, I'd be thankfull.
Srdjan
Dear Santa,
I have not been a good girl,
But it really wasn't my fault what happened at Joe's Christmas party. It was Lou who spiked the strawberry tarts with dope. I didn't notice anything until I'd eaten about 12. Please send my apologies on to the pixies.
I thought it was pretty funny when Rich put Lou's bra on his head and did his impression of the fly and danced the ketchup dance on the kitchen chair while singing bollocks. I didn't mean to brain him with the giant rosequartz. I just don't like flies you see.
I don't remember calling anyone a hippo in SM gear -- even though Ali looked like one in her 'goth' dress. That woman should not be allowed to wear a dress!
And when I swung one of those pixies around by his toe, it was only because I was trying to chase away the bugs.
After all that fun, the paranoia kicked in good. So on my way home, I tigered through all the neighbours back yards, just to be sure. I'm sorry I killed all those garden gnomes, but they were out to get me. I don't think it was any reason for my neighbour to call me a dangerous maniac and have me arrested.
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, safe at last. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money, and a cup of coffee.
Sincerely yours,
Willie (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 20 quid!
(Ok, so that's not really what it said, but it's funnier this way.
)
I have not been a good girl,
But it really wasn't my fault what happened at Joe's Christmas party. It was Lou who spiked the strawberry tarts with dope. I didn't notice anything until I'd eaten about 12. Please send my apologies on to the pixies.
I thought it was pretty funny when Rich put Lou's bra on his head and did his impression of the fly and danced the ketchup dance on the kitchen chair while singing bollocks. I didn't mean to brain him with the giant rosequartz. I just don't like flies you see.
I don't remember calling anyone a hippo in SM gear -- even though Ali looked like one in her 'goth' dress. That woman should not be allowed to wear a dress!
And when I swung one of those pixies around by his toe, it was only because I was trying to chase away the bugs.
After all that fun, the paranoia kicked in good. So on my way home, I tigered through all the neighbours back yards, just to be sure. I'm sorry I killed all those garden gnomes, but they were out to get me. I don't think it was any reason for my neighbour to call me a dangerous maniac and have me arrested.
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, safe at last. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money, and a cup of coffee.
Sincerely yours,
Willie (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 20 quid!
(Ok, so that's not really what it said, but it's funnier this way.
)-
ZOMBIE USER 8124
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 527
- Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:26 am
Have YOU written your letter to Santa yet?
It's like a huge, funny mad-lib. It's great, go write your own <a href="http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dear ... ml">Letter to Santa</a>!
I laughed my ass off, but, then again, I'm me. ^^
I laughed my ass off, but, then again, I'm me. ^^
-
ZOMBIE USER 9264
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 1255
- Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:26 am
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Smitty's Christmas party. It was Radek who spiked the punch with too much Rev. I can't help it if I drank 37 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like rave stink.
I thought it was funny when I put Robin's thong on my head and danced the DDR on the bed while singing `We Drink Ritalin'. I didn't mean to break Smitty's Dreamcast and don't know why Smitty would sue me for necrophelia.
I don't remember calling Ron's wife a slippery duck---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on Lesley's husband's nipple, it was only because I ate too much of that haggis.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Sherman tank through my neighbor's basement. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crooked worm and have me arrested for sodomy!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and hot. And I'm really not to blame for any of this moist stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and forcefully yours,
Dave (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 4 bucks!
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Smitty's Christmas party. It was Radek who spiked the punch with too much Rev. I can't help it if I drank 37 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like rave stink.
I thought it was funny when I put Robin's thong on my head and danced the DDR on the bed while singing `We Drink Ritalin'. I didn't mean to break Smitty's Dreamcast and don't know why Smitty would sue me for necrophelia.
I don't remember calling Ron's wife a slippery duck---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on Lesley's husband's nipple, it was only because I ate too much of that haggis.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Sherman tank through my neighbor's basement. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crooked worm and have me arrested for sodomy!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and hot. And I'm really not to blame for any of this moist stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and forcefully yours,
Dave (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 4 bucks!
